Strawberry Ghosts
by Gossamer Glass Jellyfish
Summary: Ichigo is a girl's name. What if Ichigo had actually been born a girl? The Bleach story with a fem Ichigo at the helm. Follows the anime, not the manga. Eventual parings with Kuchiki Byakuya and Hitsugaya Toshiro. I plan on splitting the story into two different universes in the last arc, and giving my readers two different pairing endings. Toshiro is slightly older.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note:_

 _There are countless versions of this story floating around on the Internet. If you've read part of this story somewhere else, I apologize. I have too many drafts, too many stories, too many usernames, the list goes on and on._

 _Previous usernames I have written fem Ichigo fanfiction on - Grimrose Eilwynn on ff, Lyn_Laine on ao3. This is here to let you know that I am NOT plagiarizing. They are also my stories! They are in fact older drafts of this story! :D_

 _This should be the final draft of this story, however. I needed a new account to give myself the psychological space to make a good, coherent final story._

 _I'm strapped in for the long haul. I know exactly what I have planned right through to the ending. Let's see if I can finish this little tale of mine._

 _This story switches points of view periodically, with each point of view in first person. A new point of view will be denoted by the character's name at the top of the scene. I know this sounds complicated, but give it a chance. I'm good at this, I promise._

 _This is not a songfic, but theme-related music and poetry is included, and when Rukia talks about Ichigo in this chapter she unknowingly references Lauren Aquilina's "Wonder." I thought it was a good song for how so many characters seem to feel about Ichigo._

* * *

 **Strawberry Ghosts**

" _She wasn't looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword."_

 _\- Atticus_

* * *

1.

 _Hollow_

Shadows crept across the pillars of rock, across the sands of Hueco Mundo. The shadows were hungry. We needed to be fed, always needed to be fed, and we had just sensed a soul with incredible spirit energy in the living world. It had been slowly growing and growing in size and power, until it was now nearly impossible to miss.

Delicious. An easy target.

I was hungry… I wanted food…

We oozed up into the roiling grey skies above, and then all of a sudden we were turned upside down, falling slowly into the space in the living world where the soul was.

We landed amidst what humans called a city, crashing, claws ready, to the asphalt road. It was the middle of the night. As usual, no human sensed us.

This one might, though. The one we were chasing. It was unheard of… but possible.

It was me and one other Hollow on this hunt. We were small fries, but because of that we kept our senses sharp and open, and we had sensed this delectable soul before anyone else. As was usual with Hollows, we catalogued immediately all the things we could sense about her: fairly young even by human standards, female, living in a district of the place humans called "Tokyo."

As we landed beside each other, eyes gleaming in the darkness, there was an unspoken understanding between us: It was a race against each other, to see who ate her first.

This girl, whoever she was, was doomed.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

It was my first away mission to the living world since Kaien-dono's death, and I was keenly aware of this as I landed lightly atop an electric pole that night in district 3600: Karakura District, Tokyo city. My newly assigned station.

The portal closed behind me, black Hell butterflies fluttering away into nothingness in the moonlight.

Everything in this district seemed peaceful. I had been told it was what humans called a "suburb", a fairly safe, wealthy, residential area of the city. I could see the lights gleaming in hundreds of square or metal buildings, people and vehicles crawling through the black streets like ants even at this time of night.

I already had two Hollows on my alert system - I had checked - but there was something else. Something far more puzzling.

There was a gigantic spirit energy emanating from this place, and it was not coming from the Hollows.

It was massive and uncontrolled, spreading so far out around its point of origin that I couldn't sense exactly where the source was. Not yet. I would have to track it down.

I would think it was a massive Hollow, but the energy seemed benign and it was unmoving. That was what was curious to me. I had never sensed anything quite like it before. Was it a Plus soul, grounded to a specific place? It didn't feel like one.

In any case, I leaped off to go take care of my missions: hunt down the Hollows… but also, in between, search for the source of that other spirit energy. I could leave no stone unturned. My job was to monitor and control spiritual behavior in District 3600, after all, and this mysterious source was just as important as a Plus soul or a Hollow was.

Partly because it was far more massive.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I sighed, leaning against the alley wall, my arms crossed. "I'm sorry, boys, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," I said. Already irritated at what they had done, and what I would have to do, and what was probably about to follow.

The thugs messing around on their skateboards in the alleyway all whirled around to look at me. I knew what I looked like, in the golden light of the setting sun slowly turning the alley into shadows: tall and stately for a Japanese woman, in a tight little high school uniform, a wood hair clip holding my long, messy, run-your-fingers-through-it exotic orange hair up behind my head in a clip and dangling fang earrings in my ears. I had warm amber brown eyes shaped like crescent moons and golden skin, and I was wearing flame red lipstick, almond blush, cocoa eyeliner, and a peppery, orange blossomy perfume called Black Opium that wafted across the alleyway. The brown nail polish on my short, blunt nails was chipped, and my shoes were reddish brown flats.

It also didn't hurt that my folded arms showed off my boobs.

The thugs leered, grinning, wolf whistling.

"Hey, baby!"

"Get on over here!"

There were five of them. They were walking toward me, about to gang up on me.

"Look at those long, wraparound legs!" the man who seemed to be the leader of their little gang shouted. My legs and butt were easily my best features; that was where their eyes had traveled down to.

"Take a good, long look, pal, 'cause they ain't never wrappin' around you!" I snapped. "I want you guys to leave. _Now_. And not come back. I'm not here to be your sex doll."

They stopped, scowling, and the leader growled, "I don't like the way you're talkin' to me," getting all up in my face. He was slightly taller than me.

I glared up at him, unfazed. "A little girl died here recently," I said heatedly. "That's my offering to her that you just ruined messing around with your skateboards." I pointed at a vase of flowers lying off to the side, glass shards everywhere, the broken petals sagging sadly, drowning, in a puddle of water muddied brown from the street. Someone had tried to do a stupid trick on their skateboard and that was the result. "You guys have been disturbing this place for days. You should have a little respect for the dead."

The thugs began cackling with laughter.

"Aww, she cares about the little dead girl -!" one said mockingly.

"What's the kid gonna do," the leader grinned, "come back and _haunt_ us?"

"Idiots," I said, deadpan. "She's hanging right above you."

"Huh…?" They looked up, confused - and that afforded me the opportunity I needed. I leaped upward, bending my legs in a midair split, and kicked two in the face. I landed on my feet in a crouch, swept the third one's feet, and elbowed him in the face on the way down. I stood straight - the last two thugs were still standing there, stunned - and I grabbed the backs of their heads, smashing their faces into each other so that they head butted one another.

And then I was standing there calmly, surrounded by five downed, groaning thugs.

"Oh, yeah," I smirked, walking over to the leader and shoving his face further into the ground with my foot. The sole of my shoe was on his cheek in a victory stance. "I guess I should have warned you. I help lead the karate and kendo clubs at my school. I'm a master in both styles of fighting."

I leaned down closer to the thugs, my eyes widening crazily, and they began hissing, bloody-nosed, and backing up along the ground in alarm. "Shit - shit - crazy _bitch_ -!"

"You ever come here again, you son of a bitch," I said quietly, focusing on the leader, "and people will be bringing _you_ flowers. A little girl died here and you are to treat this place with _respect_. You got me?"

Slowly, begrudgingly, the leader nodded.

I turned around and walked right back out of the alley like nothing had happened.

As I grabbed my bookbag, a fair distance away from the scene with the thugs, the ghost of the little girl floated down next to me, invisible to all but me. She had the same general hallmarks that all ghosts did: chain emanating from a gaping hole in her chest, transparent, floating. She had pigtails and she was wearing a striped tank top at the time of her murder. She'd been about ten. She never left the alley she'd been shot in.

"They shouldn't mistreat your place again after something like that," I said. "They won't be back. I'll bring fresh flowers soon. Do you need anything else?"

"No. Now I can rest peacefully," said the little girl, smiling up at me. "You know, Onee-chan," she added admiringly, "if I'd grown up to be a woman, I'd want to be like you."

I paused - and then smiled sadly. She sounded just like my little sisters.

Joke was on them. I was a terrible role model.

"... Don't say that," I said quietly, and she looked confused. "Just - hurry up and pass on soon, okay?"

Some people never became ghosts - my mother hadn't - and all ghosts disappeared after a while. It was time for her to go.

I turned around and left her there, walking back out of the alleyway.

* * *

My name was Kurosaki Ichigo. Tenth grade. Fifteen years old.

My name meant "strawberry." Cute, right? Sometimes I hated that a little bit. I was not exactly the cutesy, sweet bubblegum pop kind of teenage girl.

I'd been able to see ghosts since before I could remember - though they'd been coming to me in increasing numbers and looking a lot clearer lately. It had started when I'd begun helping ghosts around my surrounding area. They came to me looking for peace, and I helped them find peace.

I couldn't help myself. Some of them, like the little girl, seemed so sad and desperate when they asked for assistance. How could I stand in front of someone like that and say no, I won't help you?

This seemed to increase my spirit-seeing abilities. And the better I could see, the more of them found me. It was cyclical.

I wasn't sure why I could see ghosts. My little sisters could too, though not as well as me. Our father ran a local hospital clinic from the bottom and front part of our house. I sometimes helped him with simple nursing duties, as did my sisters.

We saved some, we lost some. I'd seen my first person die when I was very young. Maybe that was why I had the ability?

In any case, I'd been born with the ability to see the souls of the dear and departed.

* * *

I walked up to the square two-story building whose first frontal floor had a sign reading _Kurosaki Clinic_ , and went around the building to the back door, which led to the family room - our combined living room and kitchen, which was behind the hospital.

Since my mother had died, as the eldest daughter I'd taken over the mothering duties for the household. And it was past time for me to make dinner.

I slid off my shoes and walked through the back door with my book bag, announcing casually, "I'm home!"

"My sweet daughter Ichigo! You come home later and later every night! I can practically feel you drifting away from me, breaking curfew in that cute yet rebellious way! I know all you really want is love! Come, be embraced against your father's manly chest!" My weird dork of a father, tall, broad-shouldered, black-haired, and bearded, charged at me dramatically with his arms wide open.

Dad's hugs were always suffocating, so I put a fist right where his face was about to be, my expression not even changing from casual, and he fell to the floor.

"... Nice right hook, my daughter Ichigo!" He gave me the thumbs-up from the ground. My Dad was also an expert in martial arts; he was always very proud of my ability to punch.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, taking off my book bag, going to the kitchen and taking out the materials to make dinner. My sisters were sitting at the kitchen table across from the television nearby. "I know I say this a million times a day, Dad," I said, "but that did _not_ sound normal. And I'm not drifting away from you. I'm just busy."

"Oh, I don't know about that," said one of my little sisters, Yuzu. "You've had less time for us since you started high school, too, Nee-chan."

"We're all agreed! We should stage an Ichigo intervention! There should be cake!" Dad barked, raising a fist, standing.

"No cake. No intervention. _Busy_." I glared slightly for effect. Then I went back to chopping ingredients. "I had a meeting with student government and then I had to save a ghost after school today."

"Ooh, another one!" said Yuzu brightly. She was very girlish and sweet, with lots of dolls, cute little dresses, and a bob of cinnamon-colored hair. She thought my system helping dead people very Gothic and romantic. "You know, I really envy you, Nee-chan. I'd love to be able to see like that. I can barely see ghosts at all as it is."

"It must suck, though, Ichi-nee," said Karin casually, "being so popular all the time. I don't even believe in ghosts." Karin had short black hair; she wore boyish clothes and loved soccer. She'd asked me to teach her self defense. She had a sarcastic, deadpan sort of expression, and pale, sharp features.

She was Yuzu's twin. They were eleven.

"Huh? But you can see them too, Karin-chan," said Yuzu in surprise. "Only Daddy can't see them at all."

Dad sighed, looking pathetic and irritated. He never liked being reminded that he was the only one in our family who couldn't see the dead. He sometimes pinned the gardener next door down with karate moves to prove he "still had it."

"It's all psychological," Karin explained. "If I refuse to believe in them, it's like they don't exist. You should try it, Ichi-nee. By the way, you've got a new one haunting you."

I turned around from the stove, where I'd been working on putting lots of yummy spices into the meal I was making, to find the ghost of an older man in a business suit with slicked-back greying hair and square glasses standing there. Same as always: chain emanating from hole in chest, floating, transparent.

"Let me guess," I said in irritation before he could even speak, "you need help finding peace and you heard around here that there's a girl in the Kurosaki Clinic in Karakura who can see the dead. Am I right?"

He nodded uncertainly, wary.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I was really tired, and this was getting old, but I couldn't just turn him away. It wouldn't have been so bad if exorcising the dead was the only thing I had to do - but I also had high school, cooking, cleaning, laundry, bed-making, and three extracurricular activities to do. Oh, and a social life would be nice.

I had a life.

"Why are you complaining?" my Dad muttered. "What you can do is amazing."

Karin defended me before I could defend myself. "Ichi-nee's been under a lot of pressure lately." She scowled. "She says that more ghosts than ever have been haunting her."

"Yeah, she's fed up!" Yuzu agreed.

"She talks about stuff like that with you two?" my Dad yelped incredulously. He turned to me. "Ichigo, first you come home after curfew and now I hear you've been keeping things from me. Why don't you come to your darling father with your problems?"

"Are you kidding me?" said Karin flatly. "Who'd bring their problems to you? You're over forty, yet you possess the emotional maturity of a preschooler." Karin could be cold, cutting, and cruel when she wanted to be. Completely the opposite of Yuzu, who cried over everything.

I cut in before my father could go running to the memorial of Mom he'd put up on the wall. He talked to it faithfully every day, and especially when he felt something was going wrong with his children. He was so earnest, it was like she was really there for him. I'd never liked to see it. There were some things me and my Dad never talked about, and my part in my Mom's death was one of them.

I didn't talk about my Mom's death for the same reason I didn't like other girls looking up to me - implicit guilt. I'd done something terrible, and I could never allow myself to forget it.

"I don't know if I'd go that far," I said, and my father brightened. "But it's not a big deal." I frowned down at the stove stoically. "Karin, Yuzu, and I were just talking about the dead and I happened to mention it. It's not important."

"You're coming home at 7:30 at night, Ichigo," said my Dad, exasperated. "I'd call that important."

I turned with purpose back to the ghost. "What did you need?" I asked, ignoring the other problem.

"I have… a question," said the businessman uncertainly.

"A question another, more experienced ghost couldn't answer better?" I asked, confused.

"Yes," he admitted slowly.

"Okay. Fire away." I leaned against the counter, curious. Karin and Yuzu looked excited - they loved watching me take care of the dead, or fight other people. Dad just looked confused.

"What happens to ghosts… after our existence here… ends?" he asked.

I paused. "Why do you want to know?" I asked at last.

"I want to know if there's a Hell," said the businessman, wincing. "Because if there is… that's where I'm going."

I was silent for a moment. "I don't know what happens to people who pass on," I said at last, not judging. "I'm sorry. All I know is that it's a natural process of life and you can't avoid it.

"You want my opinion? I don't think there's anything after this. I think we're all star-stuff and our energy is absorbed back into the fold. I'm an agnostic - I'm not arrogant enough to rule out the possibility of there being _anything_ out there. But I don't privately believe there's any life after this, myself.

"I mean, I've seen the dead all my life and I've seen horrible things happen to good people and I've never seen any evidence of a higher power." My arms were folded, almost defensively.

"So… oblivion?" the businessman pondered.

"Oblivion." I nodded decisively. "You get used to the idea. It no longer really frightens me.

"Look, no offense, Businessman Ghost Guy. But I don't think death has anything left to show me."

* * *

After dinner - I carried a bottle of hot sauce around everywhere with me and dumped it all over my food, I had soda with dinner, and there was always chocolate in our dessert - and then after cleaning up the kitchen, I headed upstairs to my bedroom.

It was covered in red and black posters, most of them portraying my favorite horror and gritty crime drama movies and my favorite punk rock, bluesy rock, and classic rock bands. One poster portrayed _Juno_ , which called dibs on "best movie ever." One entire wall of my bedroom was all shelves filled with big, dog-eared old books, most of them classical literature and poetry - though there were some manga comics scattered in there as well. There was an electric guitar leaning in a corner, and notebooks full of doodles, songs, and poetry scattered all over my desk, much of them completely original, mingling among my electronics. (My laptop was usually opened to the video uploading page for my ASMR vlog, with some feminist news sites on the tabs after that.)

My bedside table was scattered with jewelry, makeup brushes and bottles, and nail polish selections; my wardrobe was stuffed to bursting with clothes and shoes. My bed was covered in a quilt with comfy flannel sheets; I often snacked in bed and so there were some crumbs dusting the covers.

Taped to the back of my bedroom door was Maya Angelou's poem "Phenomenal Woman", my all-time favorite poem:

 _Pretty women wonder where my secret lies._

 _I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size_

 _But when I start to tell them,_

 _They think I'm telling lies._

 _I say,_

 _It's in the reach of my arms,_

 _The span of my hips,_

 _The stride of my step,_

 _The curl of my lips._

 _I'm a woman_

 _Phenomenally._

 _Phenomenal woman,_

 _That's me._

 _I walk into a room_

 _Just as cool as you please,_

 _And to a man,_

 _The fellows stand or_

 _Fall down on their knees._

 _Then they swarm around me,_

 _A hive of honey bees._

 _I say,_

 _It's the fire in my eyes,_

 _And the flash of my teeth,_

 _The swing in my waist,_

 _And the joy in my feet._

 _I'm a woman_

 _Phenomenally._

 _Phenomenal woman,_

 _That's me._

 _Men themselves have wondered_

 _What they see in me._

 _They try so much_

 _But they can't touch_

 _My inner mystery._

 _When I try to show them,_

 _They say they still can't see._

 _I say,_

 _It's in the arch of my back,_

 _The sun of my smile,_

 _The ride of my breasts,_

 _The grace of my style._

 _I'm a woman_

 _Phenomenally._

 _Phenomenal woman,_

 _That's me._

 _Now you understand_

 _Just why my head's not bowed._

 _I don't shout or jump about_

 _Or have to talk real loud._

 _When you see me passing,_

 _It ought to make you proud._

 _I say,_

 _It's in the click of my heels,_

 _The bend of my hair,_

 _the palm of my hand,_

 _The need for my care._

' _Cause I'm a woman_

 _Phenomenally._

 _Phenomenal woman,_

 _That's me._

I sat down at my desk with my book bag to do homework. I was in advanced English courses in addition to all my regular classes. I was fascinated by the West, and I wanted to have a job where I traveled someday. I was ambitious - I didn't just want a job, I wanted a _career_.

I always got excellent grades in all my classes. I don't say that in a braggadocious way. I was out with something to prove. My orange hair was completely natural, but in a homogenous dark-haired society like Japan I got a lot of shit for it. Everyone assumed it was dyed. I had learned by force to cut my own hair to avoid clucking hairdressers, defend myself viciously from bullies and sexual harassment, and I got excellent grades to prove all the teachers wrong who called me a "Yankee" - a Japanese female gangster.

I also wanted to prove one teacher right: Ochi-sensei, my mentor. She was a thin, bespectacled woman, looked a bit like a librarian, but she was cheerful with a dry, exasperated sense of humor and she'd believed in me when no one else did. She saw something in me that others did not.

"You have great force of will, Kurosaki," she'd told me once. "You, more than anyone else I know, can do anything you want to in life."

I usually resented authority figures, but Ochi-sensei, she was alright.

I spent a while in bed, chewing casually on my favorite spearmint gum and chatting on social media while texting various friends: Mizuho and Keigo, a brother and sister, along with Chad, Mizuiro, Tatsuki, Orihime, Michiru, Ryou, Chizuru, and Mahana. Tatsuki and Orihime were my best friends. (I was also friends with the ghost of Orihime's dead brother, who hung around her apartment, but she didn't know that - didn't know about my death seeing abilities.) Most of my friends were girls, but Chad, Keigo, and Mizuiro were all guys. Tatsuki led karate club with me, Mizuho led kendo club with me. We occasionally had to beat the shit out of some guy who skirted our authority because we were women, but in most cases our expertise out on the mat spoke for itself.

I'd also made various friends through student government, but they were much more distant. More political allies than anything, agreeing with me on my efforts to expand the arts in our school, increase the amount and nutritional value and decrease the price of the meals the students were afforded, lower down on the dress code standards, and protect student privacy from randomized locker searches. They also helped me take surveys and plan student activities that weren't totally cheesy and didn't suck.

I listened to meditative audios and ASMR videos, and had a cup of herbal tea, each night before bed.

* * *

The next morning, I got up as always before everyone else in the house. I put on my jogging clothes and went on a morning run, the air dewy and the sky glowing pink and gold. I blasted music on my headphones and felt the usual sense of peace that this ritual always brought me.

I always played music outside my usual rocker girl fare when I was running - what I called "tough but feminine" music. Bouncy, energetic music. Today's songs were Terri Clark's "I Just Wanna Be Mad", Daya's "Sit Still, Look Pretty", and the K-Pop hip-hop group BLACKPINK's songs "Whistle" and "Boombayah."

(I also had a secret love for sad country songs and showtunes. No one outside my circle of family and friends knew about this.)

Then I got back home, took a brief shower, put my bookbag together and my uniform on, gathered up a new vase of flowers for the little ghost girl, and began making the usual breakfast - green tea, yogurt, fruit, and sweet natto (a fermented soybean paste with sugar).

Dad came out in a black suit holding a briefcase and a suitcase part-way through breakfast.

"Where are you going?" I asked in surprise.

"As much as I know my lack of presence will hurt you, Ichigo," he grinned, "I have to go to a medical conference. Do not worry, my daughter, I shall be back to shower you with hugs and kisses tomorrow!"

"Tch. Just get outta here," I said, pretend annoyed, snapping the dish towel at him. He walked out the back door and I said, "Dad." He turned back in surprise. "If you get all dramatic about this, I'll kill you," here, I glared, "... but you'll do great."

I could see him contemplate making a big deal about it, but in the end, to my relief, he decided not to. "Thanks, kid," he said, smiling, surprising me with a moment of actual seriousness, and then he left.

Karin and Yuzu came out shortly afterward to get breakfast. "Dad's gone for a conference," I said. "He'll be back tomorrow." I set their food down in front of them.

This meant little to them. Dad disappeared suddenly and randomly from time to time; I knew how to do everything in the house and we walked ourselves to school, so it didn't mean very much to us. It was normal.

Karin turned on the TV to the news as I called my friends Tatsuki, Orihime, and Mizuiro. "Yeah, I'm sorry about this, you guys," I said. "But I'm not going to be able to walk to school with you today. Something came up." I needed to stop by the little girl's alley and drop off her flowers, and no one outside my family knew I could see ghosts. "Yeah, no, it's nothing, family stuff, I just -"

I looked up at the television, and stopped, startled. I recognized that street. It was a major industrial thoroughfare full of big buildings near our neighborhood. And it looked like it had been torn to pieces by some giant claw. There was yellow caution tape surrounding the explosive site and the news camera had just panned in on the wreckage.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to call you guys back," I said, and hung up. "Turn that up," I said, grabbing the remote and raising the volume on the TV.

"The incident happened at about 7:30 this morning. A block down from the main street outside Karakura Station, the ground shook and many buildings exploded from some incredible force. Investigators and explosives experts are currently investigating the cause of the mysterious explosion, but -" The reporter kept talking, but Yuzu spoke.

"What's wrong?" she asked in vague concern. She must have seen my expression. Yuzu never paid attention to the news. Karin looked serious, though.

"That's close to here," I said in worry. "Be careful out there today, okay?"

I texted the same thing to my father and my friends. Little did I know. I should have followed my own advice.

* * *

I walked to the little girl's alleyway first, but she wasn't there. I paused, confused.

"Hey!" I called, looking around. No little girl ghost appeared.

This had never happened before. Had she passed on? She was too afraid to leave the alleyway she had died in, she'd told me so. Why was the alleyway so empty?

Then I heard a scream, and I realized it was her - the little girl. It was coming from the street beyond. A high-pitched howl, a kind of roar, followed it. And only I could hear her - only I would be able to help her.

Against my better judgment, because this too was very close to where I walked to school and also very close to where the last attack had happened, I ran out into the wide main street beyond.

Just as I ran out there, every single window on the bottom floor of every single building suddenly exploded in one high-pitched shriek.

I ducked, covering my neck with my arms, as glass littered the pavement around me. People screamed and started running in different directions; my ears were ringing. But I could hear her desperate voice:

"Onee-chan!"

I ran through the confused, stumbling crowds toward her cries. I passed by people with wide cuts split open by pieces of glass across their faces. I could barely see their shadows in the clouds of explosion dust, until all of a sudden they appeared to me, looking frightened and dazed.

"Onee-chan!"

I continued running, toward the center of the explosion site. She needed my help - that was all I could focus on in my shell-shocked mind. Someone needed my help.

Finally, the clouds of dust began clearing and I saw her running toward me. And beyond her - was a huge, hulking monster. Not a ghost, as I had supposed. It was a massive insect, the size of a building, a white mask with leering skull teeth for a face. Beyond the eyeholes was blackness, only a single golden light of sentience in each eye.

It was a mask with no person behind it.

It opened its mouth and the high-pitched howl, the roar, emanated from it. That was where the shriek had come from, I realized, the one that had destroyed the windows - I could even see how its huge pincers, unleashed, could create the chaos at the other site earlier this morning.

What was it? Why was it attacking Tokyo?

I stood there, frozen, my breath coming in great gasps, until I looked down and saw the little girl's desperate, crying face running toward me - and my limbs were freed, I could breathe again. I ran toward that helpless face. Then the ghost of the old man with the glasses came around the corner, running behind her, and the massive insect monster gave chase after them, howling.

"Onee-chan!" the little girl sobbed, reaching me.

"What is that thing?!" the old man shouted.

I was still in shock. "I - I don't know, I don't know - _run_!" It was the only thing I could think of to do. I turned around and began sprinting down the street, hearing the ghosts and the monster running behind me, feeling the monster's shadow growing over us as it gained on us.

Then the little girl shrieked, tripped, and fell - and after a moment's hesitation, I ran back to get her. "Keep going!" I barked harshly at the old man, who had paused, and after a moment he continued running. I knelt before the girl. "Come on, come on, get up -" I pleaded with her.

Then I felt the monster directly over us.

" _Never mind, get down!"_ I screamed, throwing my body over hers, and it was a stupid thing to do, she was already dead, but I'd never have forgiven myself if I'd watched her be killed again and known I could have done something to stop it. This monster, whatever it was, it frightened her. It could somehow hurt her. That was all I registered.

I looked up in alarm, lying there in the street, saw the monster open its mouth to swallow me whole, saw the back of its throat, felt its putrid breath -

And then, abruptly, my vision was covered in the _shink_ of a sword and a flash of black cloth.

A girl around my age was standing between me and the monster, blocking it from reaching me, her real katana sword unleashed. She was dressed like a samurai - black robes, white sash and under-robe. She was small, pale, and delicate, the kind of delicate I would never be, with shoulder-length black hair and violet eyes. Her face was carved ivory, expressionless, unfazed.

She leaped up high into the air, supernaturally high, with a single cry of effort, and stood there in the air for a moment. Then she slashed her sword down through the monster's head and through its body and it dissolved in one final howl, one last shriek, disappearing into nothingness.

The girl sheathed her sword and walked away.

I began to stand, legs shaking, face bloodless, stunned. "Hey!" I called after her, but she had leaped off and was already gone.

I could feel people beginning to speak words in the street behind me, in the aftermath.

"Another explosion!"

"What caused it?"

"What's going on?"

I turned to the woman nearest me and asked in confusion, "... You didn't see that?" I pointed at where the monster and the girl had been.

"I saw you scream and throw yourself to the ground," said the shaken woman. "I thought of doing the same myself!"

"Onee-chan." The little ghost girl was trying to tug at my sleeve. "Onee-chan."

"The monster was a spirit." I looked around to the ghost of the old man, who was standing there solemnly. "That's why it could hurt us. That girl was too."

But… but I'd never seen anything like either of them before; that made no sense! I'd been able to see ghosts all my life! I turned around to where the fight had taken place and the insect monster had been vanquished. It sounded silly even as I had the thought, like a drug trip or a hallucination.

Except it couldn't have been. The explosions in the streets. The ghosts I'd always known who had seen them too.

"... What the hell?" I whispered.

* * *

I went home instead of going to school that day, lying to my friends and family and telling them I wasn't feeling well. Then I had to convince Orihime not to come over with some of her famous "special soup" (Orihime was an eccentric cook, on top of all the other reasons why it was a bad idea). Yuzu fussed over me back at home. Tatsuki and Karin both seemed suspicious.

After dinner that night, which was made by Yuzu, I went upstairs to my bedroom and curled up on my bed, arms around my legs and head on my knees. I stared at the shadows on the far wall, thinking.

Who had that girl been? What about that monster in the street? How were they spirits - without having all the usual hallmarks of a ghost, like transparency or floating or a chain? They must have been spirits, right? No one else had seen them.

I'd always prided myself on knowing everything there was to know about death. It was a burden sometimes, yet I realized now that I had always found an odd sort of comfort in the idea. But there were only two options here. Either I didn't know as much as I'd thought I had, or I was slowly going insane and my sisters might be too.

Neither option particularly appealed to me.

I lifted my head in confusion when a black butterfly suddenly flew - right through my closed window. Like it was a spirit.

But then something even bigger happened. The black-robed girl stepped, floating, right through my bedroom wall. She didn't even look at me, her expression serious. It was weird, she looked just like a living person… except she could float and move through walls. So she _must_ be a spirit.

Well - it looked like the answers to my questions had just come to me.

I backed up on my bed in fear, anger, alarm. "Hey! Hey - who are you - what are you doing here?! Why are you invading my home?!"

There was a silence. I heard the sounds of Karin and Yuzu playing a loud video game in the living room downstairs. The girl landed on the ground. She was still looking straight ahead of herself seriously. "It's close," she murmured. "The enormous spirit energy."

Was she deaf?

So I walked up to her, leaned down - she was pretty short - and stuck my face right up close to hers, flicking her in the forehead and saying loudly, "ARE YOU DEAF? I CAN SEE YOU. WHAT SPIRIT ENERGY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

And the black-robed girl nearly had a goddamn heart attack.

"You - you can _see_ me?" she asked disbelievingly. "And - touch me?"

I straightened, frowning, hands on my hips. "Who did you think I was talking to?" I asked.

The girl straightened, feigning dignity. "I - I thought you were an undiagnosed schizophrenic."

"Funny. In that kind of getup? That's what I thought _you_ were."

"I am not an undiagnosed schizophrenic!" said the girl indignantly. "I am a noble member of the house of Kuchiki!"

"See, the problem is, that's exactly what an undiagnosed schizophrenic would say. And this noble house of Kuchiki? Never heard of it."

I smirked as the girl swelled, reddening. So she was easy to rile up.

How fun.

"You presumptuous human! I would kill you if it were not against Shinigami Provisional Spirit Law!" the girl hissed, fists clenched.

Okay. Now I knew she was definitely crazy.

"You want to run that by me one more time?" I asked skeptically. "What the hell is going on? What _are_ you?"

She may be crazy, but I at least wanted to hear her delusional explanation for all these fucked up events - and how she'd managed to defeat that monster.

The girl became more serious. "You should not be able to see me… I am on a higher level than what you would call a _ghost_ … But since you _can_ see me, I suppose I have to explain.

"I am a Shinigami."

Shinigami. Japan's Grim Reaper. _God of Death_.

* * *

 _Little Ghost Girl_

Me and the businessman - his name was Taideki, he'd told me, and mine was Aiko - were running again that night. A big monster was chasing us, with the same mask face but this time a big, hulking, humanoid body.

"Why again?! What is this?!" I cried, distressed.

"I don't know," the businessman said tersely as we ran. "Where is that black-robed girl?!"

I tripped and fell again - even in life I'd been clumsy - and after a moment the businessman paused. But the monster had suddenly stopped several feet away from us, and lifted its head to sniff the air.

"It's nearby," I heard the monster murmur. "With a Shinigami..."

And then it loped off.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

"You're a Shinigami," I said skeptically. "So… I've always been curious… when they're not out reaping souls… what do Shinigami _do_ , exactly?" It was partly sarcasm.

Shinigami were like the Japanese version of the West's Grim Reaper. Supposedly, they came for dead souls. In living world culture, no matter what they were called, they were frightening emblems of death itself, always black-cloaked, eerie beings, silent as the graves they haunted. Seeing one only meant one thing - that your life was over. So the idea of one lazing on a beach with some suntan lotion was _hilarious_.

Kuchiki blinked, surprised by the question. "Well, it depends on the Shinigami," she said uncertainly. "I, for example, like drawing. And classical music. I enjoy climbing to high places, such as in rock and tree climbing. And I like bunnies."

"You like bunnies?"

"They're cute!" said Kuchiki defensively.

"Hey, I'm not judging. Do you have a _pet_ bunny?"

"Sadly… no. I do not think my older brother would take kindly to the suggestion. It would be below my station." Kuchiki looked a bit despondent at this. "He is the head of the family. He must care about these things."

"You should get one anyway."

"Clearly, you have never met my brother."

"I'd get one anyway."

"I'm sure you would," said Kuchiki dryly. "Now -"

"Wait. I have more questions."

Kuchiki seemed impatient, but she said, "Okay. Go."

"What do Shinigami do on the job? And where do they live?" I asked.

"Shinigami have two principal duties," explained Kuchiki. "To destroy evil soul monsters called Hollows, such as the one you saw today - which humans also cannot see - and to help Plus souls, what you call ghosts, pass on to the next life, with a ritual called _Konso_. The next life is where we live. It is called the Soul Society."

"Do all dead souls become… Plus souls? How do you destroy Hollows? What happens to souls who die in the Soul Society?"

"Only the Plus souls with a tie to the living world become ghosts. Our job is to break their tie to the living world. We destroy Hollows with our _zanpakutoh_ ," she indicated to her sword, "and also with special spells called _kido_ \- high level incantations only a Shinigami can cast."

"So your swords are special and you say funny words."

Kuchiki looked irritated. "You know, I don't _have_ to be explaining this to you."

"Alright, alright. What can the spells do?"

"Bind, attack, shield and defend, and heal. And as for souls who die in the Soul Society… well, first, aging is slowed down in the Soul Society. Ten years for every one of yours." So how old was Kuchiki? "And only souls with spirit energy even need food. But once a soul does die in the Soul Society, it is reincarnated in the land of the living."

"Is there a God?" I asked.

"There is a heavily protected Soul King in the center of the Soul Society's Seireitei city who keeps the two worlds together," said Kuchiki. "We do not know of a God. Some believe in one - these two interlocking cyclical worlds, tied together by the Soul King, must have been created by _something_ \- and some do not."

"Do you have to have spirit energy to be a Shinigami?"

"Yes. We are usually recruited from the masses, though the Soul Society born nobility are born to spirit energy naturally. That's how new souls form - they are born into the Soul Society. Even we don't know where the new souls come from."

"Are all souls born in Soul Society considered nobility?"

"No. You have to be of an established noble family with spiritual presence," said Kuchiki firmly.

"And how do you Shinigami decide who destroys what Hollows, or sends on what Plus souls?"

"We each have missions, are assigned sectors to guard for a certain period of time - in Soul Society and in the living world both, because Hollows attack Soul Society too. They live in the space between realms, a desert place called Hueco Mundo."

"Why are Hollows so evil?"

"They have a constant emptiness inside them. They eat souls to feed this emptiness."

So like vampires. "So… if a Hollow is destroyed, are the souls it ate released?"

"Into the Soul Society, yes. Very good," said Kuchiki, pleased.

"What is the Soul Society like?" I asked hungrily.

"It is a very good place. The commoner's grounds are a series of small villages. You would call them old fashioned… as I've said, we age much slower there." That explained the bizarre clothing. "Then there is a vast city in the center where the nobles and Shinigami live, called the Seireitei. The Soul Society is ruled by a council called Central 46, which regulates Shinigami and provisional spirit law. The Soul Society is much slower paced, full of nature and usually very peaceful. Ten to one it's better than the living world," said Kuchiki proudly.

"So… the Soul Society seems to have taken on Eastern culture… does that harken back to Ancient China being one of the oldest and first complex living world civilizations? Like, was there a war that decided this, Mayans vs Chinese, or…?" I was curious.

Kuchiki looked completely bewildered, like she had no idea what I meant. "What is… _China_?"

"It's… the country… near… this one?" I was now the one who was confused.

"Oh, you mean Region 45! The big one!" said Kuchiki brightly.

"Yeah, you know what? Never mind," I decided. "Next question. How do you get all those people from all those different countries to come together at once?"

"Well, it helps that all languages become one language in the Soul Society," Kuchiki explained. "Everyone thinks everyone else is speaking their language. And Shinigami, when planted in the living world, can assume any native language."

"Is there a Hell?" I asked next.

"Yes. Evil souls are sent there."

"How do you define evil?"

"Evil is one who has done dark things. Such as murder, or rape."

"And what was that black butterfly?"

"That was a Hell butterfly. Not actually related to Hell, funny enough. They relay messages, guide Plus souls on to the Soul Society - they do all sorts of useful things on command."

"So why haven't I ever seen a Shinigami or a Hollow before, then?" I challenged. Everything else fit. The souls never appearing. The souls disappearing.

"As I said, you have to be of a certain spiritual energy level to see us. Your powers have grown as you've gotten older, yes?"

"... Yeah," I admitted at last, thoughtfully. "They have. The more ghosts I come into contact with, and the more I age, the more my powers grow - like those ghosts in the street today. I knew both of them personally. So you think they've unlocked my power?"

"Exactly," said Kuchiki neatly, pleased. "That would explain it."

"Why was the Hollow attacking those ghosts today?" I asked. "Just because it wanted some spare food?"

"I suppose that must be it. I am not entirely certain," Kuchiki admitted. "We have not been able to analyze and understand all of the Hollow's behavioral patterns."

"So you're on a mission now? This is your sector?"

"Correct. I was searching for a source of huge spiritual presence, and then I was distracted by a Hollow alert, so I was chasing down the Hollow and then when I entered this room - which is very close to the spiritual presence - the Hollow suddenly went off my sensing radar. It's very peculiar. Like some force is obstructing my senses. That's why I'm in your room."

"And I can see you because I have the power that makes dead people Shinigami?"

"Yes, quite a lot of it. I have never even heard of a human who can see Shinigami before."

"So that could be why more and more ghosts keep finding me as I get older and older."

"Yes, it's probably a growth spurt of your spirit energy."

"Okay… prove it to me," I said firmly, crossing my arms.

Kuchiki seemed caught off guard. "... What?"

"If you have all these amazing powers… Show me some." This would be the deciding factor for me. I didn't believe in what I couldn't experience. I wasn't one of those 'blind faith' sorts of people. Con artists, fake psychics, magic, and stupid reality TV shows were not my forte, and neither, really, was religion.

"You see that I am different, yet you do not believe in me?" Kuchiki asked, both disbelieving and scathing.

"I want proof," I repeated stubbornly, lifting my chin defiantly.

Kuchiki's eyes narrowed. Then she suddenly unsheathed her sword, reached out, and made a little slice in my arm. I winced, there was a moment of pain - "How can you do that?" I asked wonderingly. "Plus souls can't touch living things."

"Do you ever stop asking questions?" Kuchiki asked in amusement. ("No," I said.) "It's all about how much spirit energy you have. The more you have, the more you can affect the living world around you. Now shush and watch me work."

Then Kuchiki put her hand over the cut in a flash of electric blue and the cut was miraculously gone. Just like that - _zip._ As if it had never been. I stared.

For the first time, Kuchiki smiled. "You see? Healing kido. A normal Plus spirit couldn't do that. Kido is one of my favorite parts of being a Shinigami - my kido marks at Seireitei's Shino Academy were top of my class."

The moment of peace was interrupted by a sudden roar. A horrible, piercing, screaming howl of pain met my ears, and I looked up, my face white.

"What is it?" Kuchiki tensed, half-standing, suddenly serious, immediately going for her zanpakutoh.

"Can you hear that?" My voice was shaking, and I hated it. "That horrible, piercing howl? It's coming from outside. Isn't that the Hollow you're looking for?" I recognized it from before.

Kuchiki paused, listening. "I hear nothi -" she began. And then she heard it. The howling cry of a Hollow.

"That's it!" she hissed, whirling in that direction. "That's the Hollow!"

Then there was a crash that shook the floor below, and a high-pitched female scream. The Hollow was attacking this house.

" _That was Yuzu!"_ I screamed, and before Kuchiki could stop me I was out of the room and down the stairs.

A huge, hulking, humanoid Hollow had made a hole in the far living room wall and was reaching inside for my sisters, who had screamed and were backing up, Karin in front of Yuzu, who was staring around herself blindly for something she couldn't sense.

They saw me at the same time.

"Onee-chan! What's going on?!" Yuzu cried.

"Ichi-nee! Run!" Karin barked.

Then the Hollow swiped at them and rage and fear filled me. I ran forward and pushed them out of the way, felt the Hollow's giant hand wrap around me instead. It lifted me outside and up into the air above the street, my feet dangling.

"Nee-chan!" my sisters screamed, sitting upright from where I'd pushed them over.

"Let me go, you stupid, fish-faced freak!" I shouted, kicking ineffectively at the Hollow's hand.

"I've found you," it whispered, and opened its mouth to eat me - I froze - " _Karin, Yuzu, run!"_ I screamed, unable to look away - my last act, I thought -

But for the second time I was saved by the Shinigami. I saw a flash of silver and then she made a cut deep into the Hollow's arm, leaping upward into the air. The Hollow roared in pain and dropped me, and the Shinigami caught me before I hit the ground, setting me gently down behind her. The Hollow retreated, its wounds healing themselves and its skin regrowing. That must be its ability.

I looked around - Karin and Yuzu had been knocked out by the Shinigami.

"Binding spell, the first - _sai!"_

I whirled around just in time to see the Shinigami wave a hand in a kido spell. I felt my arms and legs spring together and I fell over on my stomach on the ground, paralyzed.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I cried, struggling. "I can help you!"

"There is nothing you could do," said the Shinigami sternly. "Leave this to me."

She began to turn away toward the Hollow, lifting her sword - but with great effort, pushing against the pressure around my body, I had forced myself to my feet, legs and arms still tied. "I - will not - watch - another family member - _die_!" I screamed.

Not like Mom.

And a pressure I had not even felt building up inside me suddenly exploded outward. In a flash of gold, my arms and legs were freed.

"Stop it - how are you even standing - no human could -!" the Shinigami began. But then I sprang myself free and she stopped, stunned.

"Ha!" I said, grinning, flushed with victory. "Apparently, a human _can_."

"... Now I understand," said the Shinigami quietly.

I was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Hollows will eat all souls, that is true, but they usually go for souls with high levels of spirit energy," said the Shinigami quietly. "Those souls are particularly delicious to them.

"You, human girl, have more powers than I have ever seen in someone living. You can see Shinigami and Hollows as a living human. You can break top notch Shinigami binding spells under your own power. And I have realized - the thing blocking my senses was _you_. I felt your spirit energy from all the way across your district. The farther I went into the dense cloud of spirit energy you emanate around you, the harder it was to sense anything, until finally in the center - your bedroom - I couldn't sense anything at all.

"But you could. You heard the Hollow before me.

"I don't know why, but your energy has been almost completely sealed up until now. Then you started interacting with lost Plus souls - and that power was unlocked. It grew and grew, until Hollows everywhere began to sense it and pinpoint its location.

"The Hollows are attacking places you frequent, yes? And ghosts you know, yes? And now your house. And your family. People have been attacked, but no one has been eaten yet. Why?

"Because these Hollows aren't after just any soul. They are after _you_. They can sense you even in the people and places that are not you. They are hunting you down - tracking you."

I was quiet for a moment. So it was my fault, that these people were being attacked.

Kuchiki had turned away toward the Hollow.

"... And this will continue happening?" I asked quietly. "More Hollows will continue hunting me down, and hurting the ones I love, as long as I am around?"

Kuchiki winced. "... Yes," she admitted.

And then I chopped neatly to the back of her neck and head and knocked her out.

I stepped calmly over her prone form, facing the Hollow, who had healed completely and whirled around to face us - to face _me_. I took a deep breath. "Okay," I said, my face hard. "Let's do this."

See, I had it all figured out. If these Hollows continued hunting me through the people and places I loved, eventually, someone I knew was going to die. And I was already responsible for one loved one's death. I was not going to be responsible for any others.

So just let one of them kill me, I thought. Let it eat me.

But I wasn't stupid. Hollows were constantly hungry to feed the emptiness inside them, right? So if I let it eat me here, it would just go on to eat the other, unconscious people: Kuchiki and my sisters.

But if I led it to an abandoned place… and _then_ let it eat me… then supposedly anyone in Tokyo would have an equal chance, right?

Obviously Kuchiki would never let me do this - it was her job to protect me. But I couldn't count on anyone, including the Shinigami, to always be there to save the day in time.

So I was taking out her guilt. I attacked her. After that, it was my fault I died. I wasn't going to let her stop me.

I took out the pocket knife I always kept on my person. Usually it was in case of harassment while walking through city streets. Now it had a different purpose - I was going to try to hurt or even kill this Hollow as it ate me. I had the power to touch Shinigami and Hollows. So I must have the power to hurt them, right? Then Kuchiki's zanpakutoh could send it on later.

I got into a strong stance before the Hollow, my eyes stony pieces of flint, fiery and determined. "Hey, asshole!" I shouted. "You want my soul?!"

The Hollow roared in response.

"Then come and get it!" And I turned around, and ran. The Hollow followed me.

I sprinted as fast as I could, feeling it catching up and catching up, its shadow looming over me - I was breathless, my legs pumping as fast as I could make them - I saw an abandoned park up ahead, in the darkness - stopped between two trees - whirled around, knife out and in front of me - its mouth opened to swallow me whole and I saw the back of its throat once more - I snarled, fearful and angry, getting ready -

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

I woke up… and sat up, gasping. I was lying on the asphalt, my Shinigami powers intact, but the human girl and the Hollow were gone. Her sisters were still lying off to the side, unharmed.

Then I saw her up ahead, the vivid orange hair. She was running away, the Hollow chasing her, a moonlit knife glinting in her hand.

That idiot. An honor killing.

This human girl had been peculiar right from the beginning. First, she looked so much like a Shiba, the disgraced noble Seireitei house that Kaien-dono had come from. She could have been Kaien-dono's female twin. So when she walked up, got right into my face, yelled at me sarcastically, and flicked me in the forehead - there was more than one reason why I panicked.

It took me a while to catalogue the physical differences. The tall, elegant, feminine bearing. The warm autumn coloring. The fashion inherent even in what had to be a school uniform. The peppery, orange blossomy perfumed scent. She was pretty, I could concede, in a way that I wasn't. There was something a bit wild about her, something unmanufactured and natural.

Then she started asking questions, at first skeptical and then increasingly interested. Thoughtful questions. It was like her mind was always five steps ahead of me. She was insolent, teasing, humorous, lively, expressive, bold, and entirely infuriating.

And then she had demanded proof. A mere human. Arrogantly demanding proof from a Shinigami noble.

I didn't know why I was indulging her for so long, even as I was doing it. There was just something about her. She drew all eyes on her, she was the center of attention and controlled the atmosphere, she made things warmer somehow. She was not perfect - she was cynical, skeptical, sarcastic, fiery, at times vicious, overly idealistic, impatient and reckless, and she shrugged off pain too easily and butted in where she didn't belong.

But she was one of those people whose entire being was appealing, the imperfections included. Kaien-dono had been the same. Different, vastly so, but the same in that regard. He, too, had just… made people like him. In a blunt, not smooth, vastly uncharming way.

Then the Hollow had attacked. She reacted even faster than I did. She ran down the stairs fast, and the minute she moved away from me even a little bit, I could start to sense better again. That was when I began to suspect. Could a mere human… really do all this?

She had pushed her sisters out of the way of the Hollow attack and risked her own life. That was brave. I thought I remembered her from the street earlier today, too. She had thrown herself on top of a Plus soul to save the Plus soul from a different Hollow attack. Saving a ghost, who she didn't know wasn't just going to disappear anyway.

She befriended ghosts, the ultimately friendless. She obviously cared, perhaps more than she wanted to. And she saved people.

So a kind of respect had formed. Even a trust.

But when she'd broken the binding spell, that was when respect and trust had transformed to blind amazement. She had grinned at me, flushed in victory, cheerful. And what she had said - that she wasn't going to watch someone else die.

That, too, I could understand.

And my trust had become so deep-seated that I'd actually turned away from her. What a fool I was, to form an attachment so quickly. I should have seen this coming. Of course, a girl like this human was never going to take the idea of Hollows coming after her passively, lying down. She'd run down the stairs and pushed her sisters away. She'd broken the binding spell so she could find a way to help me defeat the Hollow and save her family.

She was a fighter. And when faced with Hollows, fighters either became Shinigami, or they were eaten.

And I should have let her be eaten, and then destroyed the Hollow and let her soul go on to the Soul Society, where the guarding was much heavier and she could become a Shinigami on her own merits. In a twisted sort of way, it _did_ make sense. I should have let her die. Shinigami were never supposed to get involved with humans. This was dangerous.

But I thought of watching someone so much like Kaien-dono get eaten by a Hollow - I thought of losing him again - and I knew I couldn't do it. I realized I couldn't do the logical thing.

In a way, perhaps I was just as emotional as the human.

I swore, stood up, and ran after the human girl and the Hollow. Ran faster and faster - saw her pause in the abandoned park between two skeletal trees and turn around, face snarling and knife ready, prepared to accept death - _get there in time, get there in time!_ -

And I didn't have time to fight it off. I realized this about a foot from the Hollow and the human girl.

So I did the only thing I could do, in a blind moment of panic. I ran in between them and took the attack instead.

I felt a moment of blinding pain, felt warm blood flow, pushed and pushed against the Hollow fruitlessly with my zanpakutoh, against where I'd made the cut, until finally it shoved off of me, spitting me back onto the ground and retreating to heal itself again.

I fell on the soft, wet earth and grass. I was dying, I realized. And if the way it spat me back out was any indication, it was going to eat the human girl before it was going to eat me. And I would have to watch.

And if I refused to accept that… I mean, I was too badly injured to fight it myself. There was only one thing I could do. No one else in the forces would be able to get here in time. There was only one option.

The problem was that it was highly illegal.

"Shinigami!" the human girl had cried. She kneeled over me. "Damnit, Shinigami girl!" she said fiercely, her face twisted in pity. "You should've let me die."

"You wanted to save your family and friends."

" _Yes_ ," she said, like this was an obvious statement, which, really, it was at this point.

"There is one other way you could do that." I was speaking quickly now. "You could become a Shinigami."

She paused for a moment, blinking. "But I'm not…" she said slowly, uncharacteristically uncertain. "I mean, I haven't kicked it yet. I'm not dead. I can't become a Shinigami."

Kicked it. What a peculiar expression. _Focus, Rukia_.

"You can." I sat up with pain, with effort. There was a rip right across my abdomen, bleeding freely. I had to do this before I lost my head. I lifted my suddenly heavy sword to her. "If I pierce the tip of my zanpakutoh through your heart, I can temporarily gift some of my powers to you. Since you have so much spirit energy, it should work… But if it doesn't, you will die." I winced. I felt I had to say it - to warn her of the risks. It was the moral thing to do.

She actually smiled. "Look, Shinigami girl," she said, amused. "Here, I have three options. I can either let myself be eaten here. I can run away and watch a bunch of my friends and family die and _then_ be eaten… or I can pick the option where I might be able to save everybody, including myself.

"I think I'll take option three. Give me the sword."

She held out her hand, warm and friendly.

"Let's give it a try, okay, Shinigami girl?"

At long last, I smiled too. Something I didn't do terribly often, especially not on the job, and most _especially_ not around a human. But I liked her, I realized. Not in the idealized, romantic way.

But in the way that, if she had been a Shinigami, I could see her as a colleague or a friend. She, like Kaien-dono, I could not imagine ever treating me differently or being afraid of my title.

She put her life on the line for others. In another life, she would have made a fine established Seireitei Shinigami.

"Not Shinigami girl. My name is Kuchiki Rukia," I found myself saying. "Rukia. You can call me by my given name." For a noble, this was a great admittance.

She looked surprised, but not displeased. "Kurosaki Ichigo, and you can call me Ichigo," she joked, amber brown eyes dancing. "Let's hope this isn't the last meeting for either of us, yeah?"

She took the sword into her hands. I pointed it toward her heart. The Hollow had recovered and was moving toward us. The zanpakutoh was at the ready. She swallowed, looking nervous. If I could admit it to myself, I was too.

But there was no time for words. I plunged the zanpakutoh straight through her heart, offering half of my power down its length. Half, I thought. Enough to get me under the Seireitei radar. Enough to let her fight Hollows for a little while. And after that… well, we would deal with that time when it came.

But even I was not prepared for what followed.

A great, enormous energy shot down the sword and jumped on top of mine - I struggled - it held me down - it was so much more powerful than I was - it sucked up more and more of my energy - the power was vicious, terrifying, unchased -

And then I felt myself become a loose soul, powerless, and I felt Ichigo's power plunge over the barriers of her physical body. I blinked, and when I could see again, I had fallen to my knees, in nothing but a white under-robe, covered in blood, Ichigo's unconscious body lying beside me. I whirled around - and there she was.

She had all my Shinigami powers, and her soul had reformed in front of the Hollow, blocking it from reaching us. The black robes clung to her tall form, clung to her curves. Her messy orange hair was still up in its wood clip, bone earrings dangling, makeup pristine. The perfume suddenly seemed more threatening with her increased spiritual pressure, a fearful tell-tale sign of her coming presence. Strapped to her back was a body-length sword, the single largest sword I had ever seen.

The unformed zanpakutoh, the _asauchi_ , changed size according to the power of its owner. Never had I seen one become so large in an untrained rookie.

"Hey, asshole!" Ichigo called. "You said you wanted my soul?! Let's try that again!" She smirked, hand reaching behind herself for her zanpakutoh, tensed and at the ready. The Hollow charged.

Her Hollow hunting abilities were completely unformed, but her power made her fast and strong and she was obviously already a trained fighter in non-spiritual abilities. She began a wild, graceful dance around the Hollow, evading all of its blows, orange hair whirling, until at last she cut her giant asauchi sword down through its head and through its body, and it dissolved with one last shriek.

She lifted her head and locked eyes with me… then her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her sword fell to the ground, and she passed out. Just fell right over with a gentle thump.

" _Ichigo!"_ I did not even recognize the horrified, fearful scream that issued from my lips. It was unbefitting of both a noble and a Shinigami. But I was no longer technically either, not after the irrevocable disaster that was tonight, and anyway, in my defense, it had been a weird couple of days.

I crawled in pain over to Ichigo's Shinigami form, crying out the girl's name pitifully, unable to do anything else -

"Relax. Her soul's just adjusting to its new form. It's a natural process."

I froze at the new voice - the new voice that could apparently hear mine. I whirled around to look.

A man was standing there, and he had a body but somehow I sensed great spirit energy inside him. He was looking right at me, his smile whimsical but his eyes cold and clinical. He had stubble around his chin, longish unkempt blond hair, wore a boat hat and clogs, had a long coat and carried a cane.

"Wh-who are you?" I tried to sound confident. Instead of helpless. Which I was.

"Urahara Kisuke, at your service." He tipped his hat politely.

I felt fear clog my throat. Urahara Kisuke was a traitor, a former Captain-class Shinigami, exiled from the Soul Society for illegal experiments on other souls in the name of spirit energy research. That body must be his own creation. That cane must be his zanpakutoh. They never did manage to take it from him.

"S-stay back!" I began pulling myself backward along the ground. _"Traitor!"_

"Relax, relax." Urahara put up a hand. "Now I'm just a lowly underground Shinigami equipment black market salesman who happens to reside nearby."

My eyes narrowed. _"Happens?"_

"Okay. So, I'm interested in the girl behind you. Have been for a while. And I'm willing to help you out."

"So you can get to her?" I asked in a hard voice.

"In a way," said Urahara enigmatically. "If you find that hard to believe…" His smile became icy. "Just… call me bored."

What could I do? I couldn't go back to the Soul Society like this. Teaching Ichigo the Shinigami ropes and going along with her on missions until my powers returned was the only way I got out of this intact. The only possible way I could get this under the radar.

And for that, I might just need Urahara Kisuke's help.

I closed my eyes in defeat. "I accept," I finally whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

I yawned and sat up in my bed, turning off my alarm, sliding out of the covers - Wait a second.

I gasped, jumped to my feet, and looked down, but I was not in my Shinigami form. I was in my body, in my pajamas, in bed. A fresh overly-large T-shirt, my usual sleep attire, hung down to my thighs. My messy hair was loose around me.

All was quiet in my bedroom. Normal. It was dawn. Had it all been some bizarre dream? And if it had been… why didn't I remember going to bed last night?

I put on my jogging clothes and went down into the living room in a misty, surreal state - and there was still a wide hole in the side of our house. I stopped right where I was, my eyes widening.

Then I was suddenly running across the house, banging open Yuzu and Karin's bedroom door. "Yuzu! Karin! Are you hurt?!"

They sat up in bed sleepily, looking confused, completely unharmed. "What the hell, Ichi-nee?" said Karin in bewilderment; she'd always had a bit of a morning temper. "We're fine."

"But - but the hole in the side of our house -" I stuttered.

"There's a hole in the side of our house?!" Genuinely surprised, they ran out into the living room to look, and sure enough, there it was.

"Weird," said Yuzu, mystified. "I remember going to bed last night, perfectly safe. Everything was so normal."

"I know. And we didn't wake up at all," Karin added. "Isn't that weird?"

Suddenly, Dad walked through the hole in the wall. "Guess what, guys?" he said brightly. "I was just talking to the neighbors. A drunk truck driver rammed into the side of our house last night!"

"Why do you sound so happy about that?" Karin asked crossly, and she and Dad got into one of their usual, bickering arguments while Yuzu pleaded, "Please stop fighting, please stop fighting!"

I just stared at them. Everyone was fine. They thought a truck driver had done this. I was back to normal. Did the Shinigami have a triage service?

Rukia - had she taken her powers and gone back to the Soul Society?

This worried me. If I no longer had powers… what would I do the next time a Hollow came around?

Brushing this thought out of my mind with all the determined blindness I could muster, I straightened and got into the middle of my family, saying in a brisk, all-business sort of way, "Enough of this. Breakfast."

* * *

I had to help my family clean up the place and board up the hole in the wall, which meant I didn't get to school until lunch-time. Tatsuki, Orihime, and Mizuiro came by to walk to school with me that morning and they saw the place.

"Wow!" said Mizuiro in amazement, a baby-faced, smooth-haired prep with great charm who was good at seducing older women. "It's amazing you're all okay!"

"That's what my family has just finished saying," I said, smiling uneasily.

"How long do you think it'll take you to clean up?" he wondered.

"Longer than it will take you to ask me that question a second time," I answered dryly.

Tatsuki, a tall, lanky girl with a messy pixie cut of black hair who rocked the punk look, grabbed me by the arm, looking me sternly over. "Are you okay?" she demanded. "A lot of weird things have been happening to you lately."

"Yeah, you have the worst luck!" said Orihime in wonder, a curvy girl with big eyes and long, caramel-colored hair tied back with twin star hair barrettes that her late brother Sora had bought her. (Both of them had told me so.)

"I'm fine. We're all fine. But hey, do me a favor and tell everyone I've died," I joked. "Get their hopes up."

But then when I got to school, all my other friends really did think I was dead.

Chizuru, a bespectacled frizzy-haired blatant lesbian, flung herself at me in a hug. "OH THANK GOD MY FUTURE WIFE!"

"I was just about to start crying!" Michiru wailed, a short-haired, shy girl who loved stuffed animals and Hello Kitty.

" _So was I! Let's cry together and then do it!"_ Keigo agreed, a long messy-haired class-clownish perv.

"Fuck off, asshole." That was Tatsuki and Ryou, a cold bookworm track star with long dark hair hiding most of her face, punching Keigo to defend their friend.

"Sorry about my brother. He's an idiot," Mizuho, a tough scowling ponytailed older girl, sighed from where she'd joined us at our classroom lunch area.

"You say such hurtful things about me," said Keigo to his sister, faux upset.

"So, am I allowed to gossip about this?" Mahana, a tactless girl with frizzy curls and an open shirt collar, wondered.

" _Can't - breathe -"_ I was gasping, Chizuru wrapped in an iron grip around me, especially around my boob area.

"Chizuru, I swear to God, if you flirt with another of my friends one more time I'll cut you open with a butter knife," Tatsuki threatened.

"I'd like to see that," Ryou admitted.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Tatsuki-chan!" said Chizuru, smiling mischievously. She still hadn't let go of me.

Finally, Chad, a big half-Mexican musician guy with an upper arm tattoo, silently walked over, picked me up full-body out of Chizuru's grasp, and set me down on the ground, patting my shoulders neat. Chizuru pouted.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said softly, and he didn't have much expression but his brown eyes were gentle.

I smiled up at him. "Thanks, Chad." His real name was Sado, but I'd given him the Western nickname Chad and it had stuck.

"You need any help cleaning the place up?" he added.

"Nah, we got it," I shrugged. "We're fine."

"Yeah, Chad, you'd probably do more harm than good," Keigo laughed, blunt but somehow in a non-offensive way.

I turned to Chizuru. "Remind me why I put up with you?" I asked her in gentle exasperation.

"Because secretly, you're just as in love with me as I am with you." Chizuru batted her eyelashes at me and then went off to flirt with Orihime.

We all sat around the classroom, having lunch and talking.

"Banged another chick last night," said Mizuiro cheerfully. "And I became friends with three new people this morning."

"I love how those two things are equal in your eyes," I said.

"Keigo." Tatsuki smirked. "You could learn something from him." She nodded to Mizuiro.

"Hey, hey, hey, I bang women too!" Keigo defended himself, and then scowled when Mizuho barked out a harsh laugh and bopped him over the head. Michiru was blushing.

"So, Orihime hurt herself again last night," said Tatsuki casually. "Tripped over her own two feet and landed right on her face. She was daydreaming again."

"Aww, that's adorable in a dorky sort of way!" said Chizuru.

"And you call yourself a student health counselor." I grinned. "You're always getting injured."

"I am a very good student health counselor!" Orihime defended herself. "My lunch today is very healthy. Taiyaki ramen with wasabi and honey. Want some?" she added brightly.

"No, thanks. We're good," we all said flatly in unison.

"Orihime and I complete each other," said Tatsuki, chewing and nodding. "She's a student health counselor and I'm on the student disciplinary committee. So I beat the shit out of idiots and then she patches them up."

"And Ichigo-chan is in student government!" Orihime added brightly.

"That's right. So I _make_ the laws Tatsuki beats the shit out of people over," I said.

"I really gotta get me one of those activities and join in your little lesbian love circle," said Chizuru.

"Ooh! Ooh! I'm in!" said Mahana in excitement.

"Me and Michiru will sit over here and watch," said Ryou, deadpan. Michiru was still blushing.

"If that's what you're into," said Chizuru, and Michiru blushed harder. Orihime smiled and Tatsuki rolled her eyes.

"How's your track going, Ryou?" Mizuho asked. "And you, Tatsuki, you have another karate competition coming up, right?"

"That's right!" Tatsuki grinned. "I'm training hard! I still don't see why you two don't compete nationally, Ichigo and Mizuho. There's nothing like that adrenaline rush."

"I'll be fine," said Ryou, shrugging, taking out a book. Ryou had the best grades in our class and legs that could go amazingly fast. She had nothing to worry about.

Keigo usually called people like that nerds but, kind of like with me and his sister and Tatsuki, Keigo was a little afraid of Ryou. He didn't go for the tough girls, and Mizuiro didn't go for girls his own age. Chizuru flirted with everyone but was serious about no one. I didn't even know about Chad. He was a hard one to read, and he never said much. Anyway, it would have felt weird to ask him about it.

The only guy in school who was really interested in me was Ooshima, and he was a big stupid ugly bully whose attention bordered on sexual harassment because he thought my hair color made me a rebel.

I was probably going to die a virgin.

Michiru had taken out her latest craft project, as she usually did during lunch. Speaking of shy people, I turned to Chad. "How's the band going?" Chad was in a rock band with some older guys he knew.

"It's going," said Chad simply. "We have another show next week."

"I call dibs! Gotta be there," said Tatsuki.

"We could spend the afternoon at my house watching standup comedy and then head over to the show," Orihime offered. Standup comedy was one of her favorite things.

"Kurosaki! Could you come over here?!" I looked around. Ochi-sensei was standing at the front of the room, looking stern.

"Oops, busted." Keigo grinned.

"It's your own fault for coming to school late," Mizuiro smiled pleasantly.

"Fuck off, I have a good excuse," I muttered, standing.

"Besides, she's got nothing to worry about. That girl's got Ochi-sensei in her pocket," said Tatsuki casually.

"She totally does," Mahana agreed fervently. I heard her and Mizuiro use their combined efforts to start filling everyone in on all the latest gossip as I walked away toward Ochi-sensei.

"You're late, Kurosaki. You think lunchtime's an appropriate place to show up?" Ochi-sensei asked rhetorically.

I sighed, lying. "A truck drove into the side of my house last night, ma'am. I'd offer you to drive by and see for yourself." I had to add that last part at the end, because it sounded so absurd.

Ochi-sensei's eyes widened and her brow creased in worry. "Is everyone okay?" she asked.

I nodded. "Small miracles. Everyone's fine."

She smiled as she walked away. "I knew my faith in you wasn't misplaced, Kurosaki."

It was stupid, but I felt a little bit warmer as I went back to join my friends.

"What's our next class?" I asked, sitting back down.

"Literature," Mizuiro responded. "So you're not in trouble?"

"Of course she isn't!" several people told him, as I smirked and shook my head.

"Lucky," he sighed, sitting back. "If I'd done that, it would be detention for me. Maybe I should screw a teacher. That might work," he added thoughtfully.

"Mizuiro, that would backfire spectacularly," I informed him. " _If_ you even managed to pull it off."

"Oh ye of little faith." Mizuiro grinned and I just shook my head.

"Excuse me, are you - Kurosaki?" The voice was familiar. I turned around - and my eyes widened.

Rukia was standing there, in a body, in a high school uniform, smiling brightly. "Nice to meet you!" she said. "I'll be taking the seat next to yours from this day on!"

Mizuiro and Mahana filled me in. "That's Kuchiki Rukia -"

"She's a new transfer student -"

"It's an unusual time to transfer -"

"But her family had to move."

They nodded together decisively.

I had stood from my seat, gaping and stuttering. "You - you're - here -"

"Do you two know each other?" someone asked, puzzled. I was too stunned to realize who.

"No, this is our first meeting, isn't it Kurosaki?" Rukia said sweetly. "Since I haven't gotten my books yet, do you mind sharing yours with me?" She held out a hand. Written on it in pen were the words: _Make a scene and you DIE!_

My face suddenly went blank. "Sure, Kuchiki-san," I said with false calm. "But first, let me show you around!" And I dragged her determinedly out of the room.

* * *

We stopped in an abandoned courtyard near the gym lockers, far away from any occupied windows. I whirled around to face her.

"So - are we skipping school?" Rukia asked excitedly. "That's what kids do around here, right?"

"No - I mean - it depends on the kid - that's not the point, _look,"_ I said. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Rukia repeated, looking bewildered.

"Yes, what's wrong!" I said, exasperated, throwing up my hands. "Has the Soul Society sent you, do you need help with another Hollow, are you -?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. I haven't left yet," said Rukia.

I stared. "Why not?"

"Because you still have my powers," said Rukia slowly, like I was an idiot. Which was kind of how I suddenly felt.

"I - I thought my power trip was over," was all I could manage.

"What I offered you last night was not a one time thing," said Rukia, frowning. "I may not be able to go back to the Soul Society for _months_. You stole all my powers and it will take time for them to fade from your soul's body and for mine to recover. I can only do the most basic of _kido_ , and I currently have no other powers. Until they return, I have to rely on this gigai."

"Gigai?"

"A fake body Shinigami use in times of emergencies," said Rukia, business-like. "So that they can disguise themselves as humans and avoid Hollows."

"How did you get one, though? What, did you have it stuffed up your butt?" I said. Rukia gave me a Look and I smirked.

"I… may have asked a shady third party with access to black market equipment… for help… using my emergency mission stipend," said Rukia, sounding highly embarrassed. "I - I can transfer the money from the same place I get Hollow alerts." She sheepishly held up a cell phone looking thing.

I freaked out. "What?! Isn't that dangerous?! Why didn't you ask the Soul Society for help?"

"I can't go to them with this."

"Why not -?"

"I just can't!" Rukia glared.

I raised my hands slowly. "Okay," she said. "Okay. So, they helped you put me back in my body -"

"And wipe the memories of your family and neighbors," Rukia added matter of factly.

"Right. Thanks. Now, Rukia… I gotta ask…" I had a pained expression. " _Please_ tell me you're the one who redressed me in my pajamas."

Rukia, who had looked tense, suddenly seemed amused. "Yes, it was me," she said. "Me and Ururu. A little girl… robot, I suppose you would call her… who is part of Urahara's gang."

"Who's Urahara?"

"A greedy salesman with exorbitantly high prices," Rukia muttered.

"So… what's your plan from here? Where will you stay?" I asked. "Because, we have a spare room at my house. I can probably just tell my family and friends you're having family problems. My Dad'll be ecstatic to take you in, and my sisters won't complain."

Rukia seemed surprised, almost nervous. "Really? I'm at Urahara's right now. I was… I was kind of just going to camp out in your closet." She sounded embarrassed.

I smiled. "In that old thing? A pile of clothes could fall on you and suffocate you at any minute. Just take the bedroom."

"Excellent," said Rukia briskly, recovering. "It'll be convenient for me to have you close at hand all the time in case a Hollow alert comes."

"Eh?" I looked bewildered.

"Ichigo, think about it logically," said Rukia slowly, her 'you're-stupid' expression once more firmly in place. "I don't have powers. I can't go back to the Soul Society. Who else is going to do Shinigami duties around Tokyo except you?"

I was thunderstruck. "But - but - but I don't know anything about being a Shinigami!"

"That's why you have _me_ ," said Rukia. The 'you're-stupid' expression hadn't left.

"No!"

"... What?" Now it was Rukia's turn to be flabbergasted. "Y-you can't refuse! This is your fault!"

"Screw you, I can totally refuse, and I am!" I said defiantly.

"That's - that's completely selfish! Ichigo, someone has to save these people! You could be a hero, you could be -!"

" _That's why I can't do it!"_ The words came out in a raw, savage cry before I could even stop them. My eyes were squeezed shut, twisted with emotion. I opened them, squinted in pain.

"What do you mean?" Rukia asked, completely bewildered. "Ichigo, you were a hero last night! You saved your family -"

"That's - that's not - look. Rukia, you've known me for less than twenty-four hours. You don't know who I _am_. I'm - I'm a selfish bitch, people are terrified of me! You have no idea how utterly unequipped I am for a job saving people."

Rukia just _stared_ at me.

I sighed, looking down. "I - I killed my mother." There was a stark silence in the courtyard. "I saw someone about to commit suicide. I was nine years old. I ran across a road full of cars trying to stop them from jumping. My Mom, who was walking me home, ran after me to try to pull me back from the line of speeding cars. She got hit. I didn't. Death on impact. I woke up to find her body shielding mine - in death, it had pushed me out of the way in time. Then she didn't become a ghost, and no one in my family ever saw her again.

"That's the last time I ever tried to be a hero for a stranger.

"I'm better selfish. I haven't fucked up since. When I stick to beating the shit out of the people who hurt me and my friends and family, I do just fine. And I'm happy you've given me the power to save my friends and family from future Hollows. But when it comes to saving other people, I -"

"You're scared," Rukia realized in a whisper. "You're actually scared to be self sacrificing."

I shrugged. I still wouldn't look Rukia in the eye. This wasn't something I talked about a lot. "Call it whatever you want," I said. "But I - I wish I was different - but I'm not - I've never been -" Now I wasn't even making any sense, and I knew it. "I'm not that girl," I finished, whispering softly. "That dark-haired girl who kicks ass in the name of defenseless strangers and gets the guy - I'm not that girl. I'm not even the golden-haired girl who swoons and faints a lot and needs saving by a handsome prince. I don't know what I am. I'm just - me," I finished lamely, shrugging again. "And - I-I don't think that's good enough for what you're asking me to do."

I finally looked up, staring Rukia in the eye. Vulnerable.

There was a song from this play called _Wicked._ It was a musical, but not that kind of musical. And there was this one song in it that I had always really related to:

 _Hands touch, eyes meet_

 _Sudden silence, sudden heat_

 _Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

 _He could be that boy_

 _But I'm not that girl_

 _Don't dream too far_

 _Don't lose sight of who you are_

 _Don't remember that rush of joy_

 _He could be that boy_

 _I'm not that girl_

 _Ev'ry so often we long to steal_

 _To the land of what-might-have-been_

 _But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

 _When reality sets back in_

 _Blithe smile, lithe limb_

 _She who's winsome, she wins him_

 _Gold hair with a gentle curl_

 _That's the girl he chose_

 _And Heaven knows_

 _I'm not that girl_

 _Don't wish, don't start_

 _Wishing only wounds the heart_

 _I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl_

 _There's a girl I know_

 _He loves her so_

 _I'm not that girl_

"I'm certain of my future," I said now. "And I don't get the guy, and I don't save the world. It's not that kind of future. In my future, I'm single for the rest of my life and I become a bitchy internationally traveling CEO who knows five different languages. If I have a kid, it's through in vitro fertilization. And I'm as happy as I could be under the circumstances. Shinigami? Hollows? Fighting? Death? Doesn't exactly factor into that future.

"I'm sorry," I added, for whatever it was worth. "I'm sorry that out of all the people in the world, you had to end up giving your powers to _me_. I'm not exactly the best vessel for them."

"But I'm not the first dead person you've helped, am I?" Rukia said suddenly.

I paused.

"I'm not," said Rukia, her eyes gleaming triumphantly. "You probably help ghosts all the time. So this future you're supposed to have? _You're_ not even following it."

She walked up to me and stopped, taking out a fingerless glove with a skull symbol on the front and putting it on.

"You mother's death was not your fault," she said bluntly. "It was the fault of the driver who didn't stop fast enough. But that's not even really the issue here. The issue here isn't even that you don't _want_ to be a hero - I think that deep down, you do. The issue, really, is that you don't think you're a hero, and I think you're wrong. Give me one chance to prove it to you."

I paused, and each of us gave the other a hard stare. Then - I wasn't even sure why I said it - but in the end, I supposed, my curiosity got the better of me. "Alright," I said. "One chance."

And Rukia slammed her gloved hand into my body. My soul pulsed once, and then I blacked out.

* * *

I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the ground. I sat up straight - and realized I was in my soul's Shinigami form, still in the courtyard. I stared at the unconscious body across from me. The unconscious body that looked just like me.

"That is me," I said matter-of-factly. "And that is creepy."

"You." I looked around to find Rukia standing above me, quite serious. "Follow me." And she started walking. After dragging my body over to a shady corner and sitting it upright, shutting its creepy blank eyes, I followed her.

Rukia led me to a children's park. There were lots of them in this general area - this was where most of the schools were in Karakura. This particular one was called Yumizawa, the biggest park in Karakura besides Karuizawa. It was surrounded by tall trees, cradled by a bed of green grass, and it featured lots of colorful children's playground equipment.

And then we just stood there, watching the empty park (school was in session), saying nothing to each other, for a good twenty minutes.

At last, I said dryly, "Wow, Rukia. I can understand why you brought me here. This will _definitely_ change my mind."

"Shut up, you jumped up little shit."

I snickered. "Got that from a book of living world vernacular, did you?"

"You'd better believe I did. Anyway, just wait. It won't be long now."

" _What_ won't be long?"

Rukia answered my question with a question. Her expression was veiled as she stared at the park. "Do ghosts come here often?"

"Well… actually, one does. He's about five years old. Pretty short. Likes to play in this park around noon. I think he died of leukemia. He stuck around because he wanted to be close to his family. He likes playing in this park during the day. Or that's what I've heard through the grapevine." Ghosts had those just like living people did.

"Is he a friend?"

"I've seen him around, but we've never really talked. Why all the questions?" I added curiously.

In silence, Rukia handed me the cell phone. It read:

 _Yumizawa Children's Park_

 _20M_

 _12:00 PM_

 _+-15MIN_

"This is one of your Hollow alerts," I said, tensing. "Within a twenty-meter radius of Yumizawa Children's Park, at noon, plus or minus fifteen minutes - a Hollow will appear."

"Spot on as usual, Ichigo," said Rukia calmly.

My face twisted in fury. "So that's it?! You're just going to _force_ me to do the job -?!"

But just then, there was a scream. I whirled around to see the pale little ghost of the boy run out from behind the line of trees, crying and screaming, a huge Hollow chasing him. Easy prey. A small fry, but an easy meal. This Hollow looked different. It had the same mask face, but it looked a bit like a giant spider. It was gaining on the little boy easily.

I was on the playground fencing, my hand behind myself for my zanpakutoh, before I could even think about what she was doing.

"Wait!"

I gritted my teeth and whirled around to Rukia. " _This had better damn well be vitally important to the moment at hand!"_ I hissed.

"I thought you didn't save strangers," said Rukia evenly. "I thought that was something heroes did."

I was incredulous. "Well - but - But what do you expect me to do, just stand here and watch him die?! _I can't do that!"_

"Exactly," said Rukia. "You can't _not_ help people who are hurting. It's compulsive for you. And if you don't do my job, people all over your home will be hurting. You will be sacrificing them up because you feel like wallowing in self-pity instead of helping them. Do you want to be the cause of that?"

I paused.

Rukia was gaining steam. "When you refuse to do my job, Ichigo, you're not saying you're unwilling to save all souls equally. You're just saying you're only going to help the ones you're conveniently around for. And that's not fair. Is it?

"Look. What I'm saying is this: I know that you have to save people. I believe that you _want_ to save people. I even think you're willing to sacrifice yourself for them. And that's all that's required for a starting Shinigami - a dedication to duty. What, do you think all Shinigami are _saints_? Let me divest you of that illusion before it goes any farther. I'm not asking you to be perfect.

"I'm asking you to do what comes naturally, and save people like that little boy."

I looked around. Saw the little boy trip and fall. Saw the Hollow come for him… And I jumped in between the boy and the Hollow, and cut through the Hollow in one straight shot. It dissolved with a shriek.

An unseen tension had lifted from Rukia's face. "So, Ichigo. Do you see what I mean? Have you made your decision to be a Shinigami?"

"No! I saved him because I was here! What are you going to do about it?!" I shouted, whirling around, sticking my sword in the ground, and scaring the shit out of the little kid in the process.

Rukia was stunned. "But - but Ichigo, your dedication to duty -!"

"It's not duty that's driving me," I said sarcastically. "Wanting to help hurting people you see around you is called 'not being an ass'."

Rukia frowned. "Ichigo, duty is vital to being a Shinigami -"

"Yeah, bullshit," I said bluntly. "Duty is a stupid word for what you're told you're _supposed_ to do. No one would do anything as goddamn out of their mind as become a Shinigami over _duty._ Maybe they have noble family expectations. Maybe they want to move out of their villages and on to bigger and better things. Maybe they want to help people, like me. Maybe they want to feel important. Maybe they want to use the power trapped inside them. Maybe they just like the idea of beating the shit out of Hollows for a living, I don't know.

"But I do know for a fact that these non-saintly Shinigami do not do what they do out of duty. And neither will I. I'm doing it when I want to, because I want to, not because I'm supposed to. Ya got that?"

"What about me?" Rukia challenged. "I am the perfect representation of duty. Where do I fit into your theory?"

"Oh, right, you and duty, of _course_." I gave a slow, cruelly amused, bitter smile.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Rukia asked heatedly, looking alarmed.

"Look at it from my perspective, Rukia. You took a near-fatal attack meant for a human and then gave your powers to that human - all for one measly little soul you could have sent on to the Soul Society anyway. Right. That makes perfect sense from a Shinigami's perspective." I sneered.

Rukia's eyes widened.

"... Since you've been so honest with me about your mother, I'll be honest with you," she said at last. "I lost someone very close to me to a Hollow. He was a colleague of mine, a friend in my Shinigami division. He was taken over by a Hollow he was fighting, and I had to deal the killing blow. I - I killed him - it was my fault he died. And you look so much like him and his family. I… I guess I was looking…"

"For atonement," I said in realization. Rukia looked up in surprise.

We stared at each other across the distance for a moment, a new understanding forming between us. Atonement - the one thing that had bound us together.

Then I turned away and broke the chain.

"Now how do I send this kid on?" I asked gruffly.

"... Put the hilt of your sword to his forehead," said Rukia at last. "The zanpakutoh will do the rest."

So I kneeled down and said, "Hey, kid. I'm sending you on to the next life, okay? Please go peacefully."

I put the hilt of my sword to his forehead, and removed it to reveal a glowing blue RELEASED stamp in its place. He closed his eyes and put his hands together into a kind of prayer, and maybe it worked, because he dissolved quickly into a wash of blue, and then a black Hell butterfly appeared and led his little blue dot up, up through the sky and into the beyond.

I sheathed my sword and walked back over to Rukia. "I helped the people I was around for," I said calmly. "Because I wanted to and I chose to. Fuck you." And I walked off.

I wasn't agreeing to any of this shit. I called it stubbornness, but maybe it was just plain fear.

"I'm not coming to your house until you agree to do a Shinigami's duties!" Rukia called after me. "There would be no point!"

"Fine!" I snapped back over my shoulder. "Be that way!"

So I began marching back toward my body at school, but Rukia began walking several feet behind me in the same direction. "What are you doing?!" I called.

"Following you around until you agree," she said matter of factly. "I have to wear you down eventually."

Her stubbornness impressed me, though I wouldn't admit it.

We went back to school together and Rukia became a regular fixture at my side. She followed me around all day - weekdays, weekends, it didn't matter. She did all sorts of annoying things, like read incorrect books on the living world aloud to me and embarrass me in front of my friends. I began wandering around on weekends and after school trying to get her lost or tired, but Rukia had impressive stamina for a tiny person. One night I looked out my bedroom window and saw her sitting there determinedly in the darkness on the sidewalk in front of my house, back ramrod straight and staring directly ahead of herself.

I felt guilty and told myself I didn't.

Rukia wouldn't budge, and I wouldn't budge. We were at a stalemate. I knew how to both destroy Hollows and send on Plus souls - I was even an expert in fighting - but I didn't want the job. Rukia wanted the job, but she couldn't have it.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

I had seen it in her, when she'd leaped in front of that sick little boy and cut through the spider Hollow, fierce determination in her eyes, clean silver swing. I'd seen a true Shinigami.

She'd as much as admitted it. She couldn't stand seeing pain and fear around her and not doing anything to stop it. She had to act. Her instinct was to save, to protect.

But she was sitting up there in that bedroom right now tonight, blindly and stubbornly pretending that if she didn't see the pain, it didn't exist. She was like a child covering her eyes to shut out the world. Well. She _was_ a child, really. Couldn't be too terribly old.

She put up a good act - strong, arrogant, tough. But I'd seen it in her that morning in the courtyard. Vulnerability. Self loathing.

How did you go about convincing someone that they were a good person?

I'd asked Urahara that once. He'd sighed and said, "You're talking about Kurosaki again, aren't you?", leaning back on his hands, sitting there in the middle of his shop. "Look, Rukia," he'd said. "You can't go about convincing someone that they're a good person capable of heroic acts. That's not a realization that comes from someone else.

"It's one of those things they have to figure out for themselves. At the risk of sounding cheesy and dramatic, Kurosaki Ichigo will realize the good she is truly capable of when she is thrown into the midst of a terrible situation and manages to make something good come out of it. When she realizes the difference she could make in ordinary people's lives.

"She'll want to make that difference, and when she does, her self confidence will come from that. Don't you see?" He still seemed lackadaisical, but his eyes gleamed from underneath his boat hat. "She needs another Hollow mission."

So I followed her around, waiting. Waiting for the next one to come.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

 _Inoue Sora_

I floated outside the window of the apartment, the dear old place, the one I had once shared with my little sister. Orihime appeared in the window, and I smiled, brightening. Then she slid the window curtains shut, and it was dark again.

I was disappointed, irrationally so considering I could have just floated through the bedroom wall and entered my former home myself. But the curtain was symbolic of something - Orihime had become increasingly distant, uninterested in my memory. She had moved on, and I remained.

Suddenly, I wished Ichigo were here. She had conversations with me, asked me questions, listened to my troubles. She'd tried to tell me over and over again that of course Orihime would never stop caring about me, that I had to move on like my sister had. Ichigo meant well, of course, but I was Orihime's older brother - a man, still older than her, even in death. She needed my looking-after, my protection.

There wasn't much a ghost could do to protect anyone, but Ichigo also had little siblings and so she never pointed this out. For that, I was grateful.

I could not resent Kurosaki Ichigo for taking Orihime away from me in quite the same way I could irrationally resent Orihime's other friends. The others were strangers; Ichigo was my friend as well. She made me feel less lonely, less alone, with our late-night conversations on the apartment complex's front steps. We talked everything - from philosophy to psychology to how Orihime was doing in school.

Orihime still did talk to my shrine sometimes - though never about memories of the two of us anymore - and she had once told me that Ichigo been there at the time I had died in the Kurosaki Clinic. I had vague memories of being rushed in on a gurney, of horrific pain, of a car accident, of an orange-haired girl standing off to the side staring in horror.

Ichigo had grown greatly since then. The Ichigo I knew was a budding woman.

Orihime had told me that Ichigo had comforted her that night, the night of my death, saying that she too had lost her mother to a car accident. Later, when Ichigo saw Orihime being picked on by some bullies in middle school, Ichigo recognized Orihime and she and another girl named Tatsuki intervened. Kurosaki Ichigo had protected Orihime in the one place I had never been able to, even in life.

Yes, I wished Kurosaki Ichigo were here to talk to. But even she had been coming around less often lately. Orihime had mentioned something to my shrine about a new girl in school, a transfer student, who was taking up much of Ichigo's time.

This just made me feel more alone.

I'd had a dark history - abusive parents, alone in school, then trying to raise my sister by myself, dying young. I'd had to find my own way. Orihime and Ichigo were the only two people who had ever made me feel… well, normal. Happy.

Suddenly, I felt a dark shadow loom over me and an instinctive fear, the fear of prey. I whirled around and saw two white-masked monsters floating there - like spirits.

They reached long, tentacle-like tendrils out, lashing them wicked fast, binding me in a tight grip. "Wh-what are you doing?!" I shouted in fear, struggling. "What are you?! Stop!"

I felt a strange buzzing in my body and a moment of upside down disorientation. Then I was deposited in a shadowy desert place, surrounded by great cliffs of rock. The skies were stormy grey and the place seemed permanently dark. For some reason, the two monsters retreated.

Then I froze when I felt a third, larger one loom right behind me.

"I've found a new target," I heard a hoarse old voice whisper. "And this soul is perfect for the attack." The monster behind me turned away. "Devour him," he said dismissively.

Countless white masked monsters leaped on me - I struggled to get away, screaming - I felt them eating away at my body -

And then I felt myself slowly transform. A divine inspiration filled me. Orihime would pay for ignoring me. So would Kurosaki Ichigo. And their friends… oh, their friends would pay doubly, for taking them away from me.

I looked down at my feet, which had transformed into a scaly tale, at my hands, which had turned into scaly red claws. I felt a mask fall over my face, and blind rage filled me. Rage - and _hunger_.

I was hungry… Empty… Alone…

I screamed a howling roar to the grey skies as the other monsters retreated, their jobs complete.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

I was reading another of my books on the living world out loud dramatically, walking behind Ichigo down the street one weekend afternoon. For some reason, the books seemed to irritate her, and this amused me.

Ichigo had traded out her school uniform for a sophisticated eggshell white off-the-shoulder sweater and a clingy little deep purple skirt with a bronze leaf pattern, and her dangling wood carving earrings swung as she finally whirled around to face me. "Those books of yours are crap, they're completely outdated! And how long are you going to keep following me around?!" she barked at last, as if she couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Until you agree to do my job," I said simply, "and become a Shinigami for your hometown." Good. I was getting to her. (Though I would have to file her statement about our Shinigami readings' inaccuracy away for future study.)

"For God's sake, Rukia, I've already told you I'd make a horrible Shinigami!" she snapped.

I refused to rise to the bait. "You are wrong," I said simply, with dignity.

We heard the vroom of a car (I knew what they were called by now!) and a thump from behind us, and turned around just in time to see a car drive away. A caramel-haired girl with sparkling star hair barrettes in a long flower-print skirt was lying there in the street, her grocery bags around her.

"Did that asshole just do a fucking hit-and-run on Orihime?!" Ichigo yelled, infuriated, and she ran out into a street and threw a rock after the fading car. "Fuck you too, dickhead! See you in Hell!" she yelled.

Ichigo had already been in a bad mood, but to be fair, Ichigo's mother had died in a car accident and I gathered that she knew this Orihime person.

Ichigo immediately kneeled down over Orihime. "Are you alright?" she asked in concern, helping the girl to her feet.

"Umm… yeah, I think I'm fine," said Orihime brightly, looking down at herself. "There's a big bruise on my leg and another my arm, but I guess it was just a bump!" She looked up, beaming.

"You don't have to sound so cheerful about it, Orihime," said Ichigo in exasperation. "Shouldn't you be - I don't know - angry?"

"But they didn't do it on purpose," said Orihime, blinking big, innocent eyes up at Ichigo. "I'd feel bad!"

Still, I could tell Ichigo looked relieved. "How are your groceries?"

Orihime bent down to check. "Oh, good!" she said cheerfully. "My leeks, butter, bananas, and bean jam jelly are all fine!"

What on earth was she making for dinner?

Suddenly, the girl saw me. "Oh, hello, Kuchiki-san!" she said in surprise. "With Ichigo again, huh?"

"Who are you? Do we know each other?" I asked bluntly, staring at her. Orihime suddenly gave a determined smile, looking awkward.

"She's in our class. She's one of my friends. You know, the ones you always ignore and say embarrassing things around at lunch-time," Ichigo hissed in my ear. "Inoue Orihime."

Damn. Was I that obvious? Not good, I was supposed to be blending in!

"Oh, of course, how silly of me! Hello, Inoue-san! So nice to see you!" I smiled and curtsied in the clothes I'd borrowed from Ururu, because I'd read somewhere that this was how people in the living world greeted each other. I'd been practicing very hard.

Orihime stared at me for a moment, before smiling and curtsying in return. For some reason, she looked confused and uneasy. I saw Ichigo put her nose between her fingers for a moment, her eyes shut in something remarkably close to exasperation.

I remembered what she'd said about our books being outdated and suddenly wondered if I'd done something wrong, but I couldn't ask her in front of Inoue Orihime.

So I was bending down in a curtsy, and suddenly I spied Orihime's leg. The bruise on it… looked remarkably like a Hollow claw-mark. Like a Hollow had pushed her into the path of the car.

"Inoue-san, can I look at that bruise for a moment?" I asked seriously, already kneeling down.

"Sure, but why?" said Orihime in surprise. "You look so solemn all of a sudden."

I stared at the bruise for a moment - definitely a Hollow claw-mark. And if it wasn't after Ichigo, it must be targeting Orihime specifically. She did not have abnormal spiritual pressure, so this slow, decisive hunting could only mean one thing.

Finally, I looked up and attempted a smile. "Oh, it just looks like it hurts a lot," I said.

"How did you know? My leg hurts worse than my arm!" said Orihime wonderingly. I bet it did. The arm was probably just from the car.

"What? Are you standing okay? Do I need to take you to see my Dad?" Ichigo asked, concerned.

"Oh, no, I'm tough, I'm fine!" said Orihime cheerfully, waving her off. "But I'll tell you what - me and Tatsuki are having a slumber party tonight. You should come, Ichigo-chan! And bring Kuchiki-san. But only if we get to call her Rukia." She gave a sly smile over at me.

I was momentarily surprised and uncertain. Should I accept an invitation from a human? Should I let them use my given name? It would almost be like friendship, like a sense of belonging, which I really couldn't afford.

But I also had to blend in. And that apparently meant going to slumber parties with other girls from my class. Besides, what if a Hollow came along? I might need Ichigo.

"Certainly… Orihime." I gave an uncertain smile.

Orihime squealed happily. "Great! Tatsuki's Mom is sending over dinner! Be at my place around seven, okay? Now I've gotta go before my favorite TV show starts!" And she grabbed her groceries and ran away down the street. I'll give her this - she acted unharmed and completely unfazed, though in reality she couldn't have been.

The girl was tough.

I looked sideways over at Ichigo. "So are you and Orihime… close?" I asked carefully. Digging for information.

"She's one of my best friends," said Ichigo, nodding. "She and Tatsuki, the other one who's coming tonight, are the closest friends I have."

"Any family?" I asked next, faux casual.

"Her older brother raised her. He died - hit by a car. He passed away at my family's clinic, actually. A few years ago. The doorbell rang before we were open one morning. I opened the door and Orihime was standing there, covered in blood, dragging her brother on her back. He was a lot bigger than she was, too.

"We didn't have the equipment to save him. He died before he could be transferred to the big Karakura hospital. That flat-lining sound, Orihime screaming and crying… you don't forget that easily." Ichigo frowned, her eyes distant, lost in memories. "The ambulance finally came, too late. She ran beside the gurney, crying, begging her dead brother not to leave her behind. Then the ambulance left and I let her cry into my shoulder. I told her about my Mom and, well… that's how we met.

"I saw her being picked on later in middle school and I just had to save her. You can't go through something like that with someone and not defend them. So me and Tatsuki - who I've known since we were neighbors as kids and took karate together - stepped in and protected her. Now we're known all over school as this really close threesome."

"Did her brother become a ghost?" I asked quietly, sympathetic - genuinely so. It was a terrible story.

"Yeah. He hangs around her apartment - you know, because he's her big brother and he feels like he has to protect her and she asked him all those years ago not to leave her behind… But now he feels like she's leaving _him_ behind… It's complicated," she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Sora's got his own… personal issues." They'd obviously had more than one conversation.

"Seen much of him lately?" I asked next.

"Now that you mention it…" Ichigo frowned. "No, not really. I haven't been over to Orihime's place in a while." Not good. "Why all the questions?" she added curiously.

"I have to know something about the girl I'm going to the slumber party for, don't I?" I said smoothly. "So how exactly do these things work?" I began walking back toward Ichigo's place. "I've heard of them, but I've… never been to one. Problems making friends," I admitted.

"Slumber parties?" Ichigo asked in amusement, walking beside me. "Well…" And the conversation moved on.

We would have to see for ourselves tonight. I hoped my hunch wasn't correct.

* * *

Slumber parties, at least in the living world, were filled with activities. Tatsuki's Mom had sent over a beef stew with Tatsuki that was positively delicious, and Ichigo had spent the rest of the afternoon crafting one of her spicy Thai recipes to bring over.

"You just eat weird things if you're by yourself," Tatsuki had joked, standing on Orihime's doorstep in a dark tee, arm bracelets, black eyeliner, and cargo pants. Ichigo had agreed fervently. Orihime found the idea of food so delightful, she seemed not to notice. She took the biggest helping out of any of us.

We also snacked on sweets, chips, and salsa. I found out Ichigo had a secret weakness for chocolate.

Tatsuki, Orihime, and Ichigo helped me paint my nails in what they called "traditional Japanese nail art." We also played games of something called Truth or Dare - you either had to tell one embarrassing truth of the group's choosing, or you had to fulfill a dare of the group's choosing. This somehow led to all of us dancing around in our underwear. It was actually a lot of fun, but thank goodness nobody from the Soul Society was around to see it.

We slipped into our pajamas and sat around on our sleeping bags, talking about guys.

"Why do you always like such mean guys, Orihime?" Tatsuki asked wonderingly, referring to Orihime's latest crush. I was a bit out of my depth here; I had no idea who any of these boys were.

"Aiii! I don't know! Don't hate on my choice in men!" Orihime squealed heatedly.

"She's cheerful enough for two people," Ichigo pointed out.

"True," Tatsuki admitted. "But still. It just gets my protective instincts up. By the way, Ichigo." Tatsuki's eyes gleamed. "Chad _so_ has a crush on you."

"For the hundredth time, Yasutora Sado does _not_ have a crush on me!" Ichigo burst out, exasperated. I had the feeling this conversation had happened before.

Orihime was giggling and Tatsuki was snickering. "He _totally_ does!" Tatsuki teased. She saw me and gasped. "Oh, Rukia, you don't know the story, do you?!" She grinned an evil grin.

"Tatsuki…" Ichigo growled warningly. Tatsuki ignored her in a way that was positively impressive.

"Quiet, stoic, artistic, friendless Yasutora Sado - so feared and misunderstood because of his humongous size, such a secret soft-hearted lover of animals - had just moved back to Japan after his abuelo had died in Mexico. He was all alone at his new middle school," Tatsuki began dramatically. "One day he was walking by the local Karakura river and he saw some poor girl being picked on and harassed by a gang of guys because of her hair color. He jumped in, and saved her from the bad men! Dramatically did he save her!" Tatsuki cried, hand over her heart.

"Tatsuki, I hate you," said Ichigo, deadpan, blushing furiously.

Tatsuki continued with increasing glee, "But oh, this was not enough for the big bad gang of men! They wanted revenge! So they cornered Sado one day when he was alone, and started beating him up! But lo and behold, the girl came upon the scene, and she saved Sado the way he had saved her! And they promised afterward to fight together always! It was romantic!

"The girl gave Sado her own special pet name -"

"I gave him a nickname!" Ichigo cried indignantly. "Stop making it sound weird!"

"And forever afterward, they have been the best of friends. They play music and write songs together. She's the one Sado cares about more than anyone else."

Tatsuki dropped her dramatic act and looked me in the eye. "Does that, or does that not sound romantic?"

"It sounds romantic," I had to agree.

"Well, of course it does when you put it like _that!"_ Ichigo cried, still blushing. Orihime had dissolved into gales of laughter on the floor. "It's not like that between me and Sado. With him, I'm just one of the guys. That's what I like about him."

I smirked. "Uh-huh," said Tatsuki. " _Suuuure_." Orihime still hadn't stopped laughing.

"You all suck," Ichigo pouted, sitting back on her hands. "What about you, Rukia?" she asked, suddenly sly. "Anyone special in _your_ past?"

I glared at her. The little shit knew party etiquette dictated I had to give some sort of answer.

In any case - "There is no one," I said. Then I paused, conflicted. "I thought there might be someone once… but he fell in love with someone else." I was thinking of Kaien-dono. "And there is a friend in my past… a childhood guy friend… but he hasn't really talked to me in years. And that's all we are. Friends." Now I was thinking if Renji.

"Complicated. I get that," said Tatsuki, nodding. "Respect." She raised a fist.

"Er - thanks?" I raised a fist uncertainly in return. Was this some sort of ritual respect sign?

Tatsuki chuckled, and Orihime and Ichigo were smiling warmly. "You're kind of a dork," Tatsuki told me. "But I like you."

I blushed. I didn't know what had just happened, but I was happier about this than I should be.

"And you, Tatsuki?" I asked curiously. "You're the only one we haven't heard from. Got something to hide?" I took a slight social risk.

It worked. Tatsuki laughed appreciatively. "Fair question, fair question," she admitted. "Honestly? I don't know if I even believe in love. And I've certainly never felt it for a boy."

"Tatsuki-chan, that's so depressing!" cried Orihime.

"Not for me," said Tatsuki fiercely. "I _like_ being independent and on my own. All of the drama, all of the constantly having to think about someone else… who needs it?" She shrugged.

Suddenly, my cell phone vibrated in my purse. I took it out idly, and my eyes widened. There was a Hollow alert. And it was about to be right here, right now.

I'd been so distracted by the party, I hadn't realized - we'd caught no sign of Orihime's brother's ghost.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

It all happened very suddenly.

Rukia pulled out her fingerless glove and shoved it at my body - I was a Shinigami - a Hollow had burst through the wall and attacked Tatsuki and Orihime, who were closest - their souls were shoved out of their bodies and their bodies slumped to the ground - I panicked, thinking they were dead - _"Tatsuki! Orihime!"_ I screamed to their souls who were curled up in fear in the corner, chains hanging from their chests -

"Relax, their Chains of Fate are still attached, they are not dead yet!" Rukia barked. Sure enough, I saw the chains leading back, connected, to their bodies. "Ichigo, the Hollow!"

I whirled around just in time to use my sword full body to keep the giant lizard Hollow from swallowing me whole. I pushed it away and it went in for another attack, howling.

"Ichigo, aim for the head!" Rukia barked.

I did at the last moment, caught off guard by the command, but the slice was too shallow. The Hollow roared in pain, part of its mask cracked in half and fell away - and I froze.

There _was_ a face underneath the mask. And it was Sora's. He screamed in pain, retreating.

"... Onii-chan?" I heard Orihime's soul whisper from the corner. She'd recognized him, too.

"Orihime, that's your brother? What the hell's going on? Why is Ichigo -?" Tatsuki began, bewildered.

"Ichigo, you have to -" Rukia was saying.

"Rukia. What's going on." My voice was hard. I turned around, jaw clenched, icy. "That's Sora. That's Orihime's brother." I recognized the pale handsome face, the dark hair, the brown eyes.

Rukia looked away. "The trick to Hollow hunting," she said at last, "is to slash through the Hollow's head in one clean stroke. Remember that. It is to minimize damage to the Shinigami… but it is also so that we can avoid learning the Hollow's former _human_ identity."

She winced as I stared at her in silent horror.

"Hollows are fallen souls," she said. "They are either too long without a world, or attacked by other Hollows. They begin the Hollowification process and become Hollows themselves. They are constantly empty because they are lost - lost inside. They eat souls to feed this emptiness. And the souls they always begin with… are the souls of their former family and friends."

Suddenly, I was furious. "You're telling me those things I've been destroying were _people_?!" I snarled. "You kept talking about monsters! You said they have to be vanquished!"

"He is a monster now, and you must see him that way!" Rukia barked. "If you don't, he will eat us all! Ichigo, you must destroy him -!"

" _That man was my friend!"_ I screamed.

"You sure had a funny way of showing it." We whirled around. Sora's mask had reformed. He loomed before us. "You had forgotten me, Kurosaki Ichigo. You were ignoring me."

"Just as clingy as a Hollow as you were as a human, Sora," I said passionately. "And totally wrong. I was just busy. I would never forget you. You had to know I was coming back. Didn't you?" My voice was pained.

"You're just saying that. How was I supposed to know? No one cares about me!" Sora was going on an increasingly angry rant. "My parents never cared about me! I had no friends! The more time passed, the less Orihime talked to my shrine about our times together! But I had a friend in you, Kurosaki Ichigo, and you _betrayed me_!"

He flew at me - Orihime suddenly jumped in front of me - " _Onii-chan, no_!" she screamed - "Orihime!" Tatsuki cried, running forward - and I jumped in front of all of them and blocked Sora's Hollow with my massive sword again.

But I hesitated. I didn't give the final blow. And then he shoved the sword against my head so that blood coated my vision, and swatted me away with his tail. I saw the wall coming and then with a thud I blacked out.

* * *

 _Inoue Orihime_

I saw Ichigo lying off to the side, Rukia kneeled before her, shouting her name in alarm. "Ichigo! Ichigo!" Ichigo was unmoving.

I gasped and turned around as I saw my brother's giant claw slam Tatsuki's soul down - she'd run in front of me - and begin choking her. She gasped for air, face white, lips blue.

"You," the monster growled. "The first of their friends to take them from me! And _you_ -" He reached around and grabbed Rukia's body. She cried something and threw out her hand - and nothing happened. Then she was being squeezed inside his giant claw. "The second of their friends to take them from me!"

I realized I had to act. I ran forward and slammed myself full body into Sora's lowered claw - Tatsuki gasped for air, breathing again, the pressure lifted. Then I leaped upward and wrapped myself around Sora's other arm, biting and biting at his other claw, trying to free Rukia.

"You dare to defy me -?!" Sora growled, but then Tatsuki ran forward and kicked Sora's tail out from underneath him in a karate move and Sora stumbled, dropping Rukia, who landed nimbly on the floor and threw out her hand again, calling a different incantation.

This one worked. There was a mini explosion and blood went everywhere as Sora roared, falling through the hole in the wall and into the street below.

"Onii-chan!" I cried. I felt hot tears fill my eyes. "What's - what's going on?! _The brother I knew wouldn't do this!"_ I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears, upset, confused.

"He is not in control of his actions anymore, Orihime," said Rukia solemnly. "None of them are."

"There are more -?" Tatsuki, who'd stood, began in alarm. But then there was a groan and Ichigo stirred.

"Ichigo-chan!" I cried, delighted. Somehow, Ichigo would save us.

Rukia hurried over. "What happened? This Hollow isn't that much different from the others!" she barked.

"I know…" said Ichigo, lowering her eyes. "But… but… it's _him_. It's _different_." I felt my pain echoed in her face.

Rukia was quiet for a moment. "I can understand your feelings," she said at last. "But if you don't destroy him, he will destroy us all."

My eyes widened, panic and hopeless confusion filling me. I ran suddenly to the hole in the wall. "Onii-chan, please, stop!" I cried; he had moved up to our air level again. "This is all a big misunderstanding! This isn't you!"

"Damnit, Orihime!" Tatsuki snapped, running forward and tackling my soul out of the way as the tail swung for another round. Ichigo leaped in front of us, sword at the ready, forehead still bleeding and messy orange hair loose around her face.

"She's right, Sora!" Ichigo shouted. "This isn't you!"

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

And it wasn't him.

Sora was quiet and kind. He was intellectual and philosophical, soft and polite. He was a good conversation on a hot summer night. He was friendly and open and always well-meaning. He was a package of insecurities and emotional problems, but violence wasn't one of them.

The Sora I knew despised violence. It reminded him too much of his parents.

Sora's Hollow mask snarled. "And who do you think made me this way?" he growled. "Our parents were abusive. They abandoned us. The minute I hit eighteen, I took Orihime away and raised her myself. I was eighteen and she was three. I watched her grow up. She was _mine_. I took care of her. She was my family. She belonged to _me_.

"When I died, Orihime used to pray for me every day. She would talk to my shrine about our times together. I was happy. But then she became friends with _you two_. And she started praying less and less often. By the time she got to high school, all Orihime ever talked about was her new life. Her friends at school, her hobbies. It was like I was gone from her life completely!"

"No, Onii-chan -!" Orihime began, but I held up a hand, glaring at Sora's Hollow.

"Finish what you want to say," I said simply.

"I had you for a while, Kurosaki Ichigo," Sora continued, gaining steam. "You talked to me, you comforted me, when no one else did. But in the end you began coming less and less often, too. In the end, you were the same as all the others, with your pretend friendship -"

"I got busy, Sora," I snapped. "Just because someone is busy, that doesn't mean they've stopped being friends with you!"

"Shut up!" Sora snapped, eyes sharpening crazily. "You betrayed me! You and Orihime! You were my friends and family! You belonged to me! It's your fault I'm like this! And sometimes - sometimes I just wanted to _kill you_ -!"

He flung himself at me, reaching out an arm for me, and I cut off the arm. He roared and howled, screamed in pain.

"I don't belong to anyone, asshole, least of all you! And neither does Orihime!" I got into a stance, furious. "And I don't care how angry you are at friends and family - you never threaten to hurt them! You've just finally managed to piss me off! If it's a fight you want, fuckward, it's a fight you're going to get!"

I flew at him, and we began a sort of dance. I evaded his blows, cutting off his tail, cutting off different parts of his body as they came at me. My new resolve was clear. The fight was going in my favor.

Then suddenly Sora opened his mouth and spat acid at my hand; I hissed, nearly dropping my sword.

"Ichigo, cut through his head! Don't just wave your sword around like that! Finish him!" Rukia barked. "Hollow hunting should be quick and decisive!"

I growled. "... Fine!" I shouted. "The next blow will end it!"

"Agreed!" Sora roared.

Sora and I flew at each other, his maw open, my zanpakutoh poised at the readiness -

And then Orihime ran between us and let Sora's mouth crunch around her frame. " _Orihime_!" Tatsuki screamed, running after her - too late.

Sora had stopped, his eyes widening. Orihime's bloody arms were wrapped around his fearful face in a hug.

"... I'm sorry, Onii-chan," she whispered. "It's my fault. I asked you not to leave me that day. That's why you stuck around, isn't it?

"I sensed that you were with me always. Even earlier today - with that car - you pulled me out of the way, didn't you? That's why I wasn't hurt more badly."

Sora's eyes had widened. Rukia gasped softly.

Orihime continued quietly: "At first I prayed for you every day. But then I thought that might be bad. I thought it might make you sad. If you were so focused on me, you'd never be able to have any peace or rest.

"So I began talking to you instead about all the _good_ things in my life. I wanted to show you… that you didn't have to stay behind for me if you didn't want to…" Tears had filled Orihime's voice. "But that just made things worse. I'm sorry... Onii-chan… forgive me…"

She collapsed.

"Orihime!" Sora called, frightened, and for a moment he sounded like himself again.

Tatsuki ran in front of him. "Look what you've done!" she cried angrily, pointing behind herself. "You claim to care about Orihime and Ichigo so much, and you've hurt both of them! You've hurt my friends!" She glared.

"What have I done - what have I done -?" Sora repeated hoarsely, and then he began roaring, convulsing, clutching at his own skull, and the mask faded in and out, melting like gooey plaster.

"What's going on?" I muttered.

"He did not become a Hollow of his own accord," said Rukia thoughtfully. "I would guess that a large Hollow, who controls several other Hollows, created him and sent him off to do his bidding. That Hollow must be searching for its next delicious meal ticket - namely, _you_. His target was supposed to be you. A very large Hollow created him, because that Hollow knew this was the former Plus soul you would hesitate most to attack. But right now… he's fighting. Sora's fighting for control over his own mind back."

Then Sora screamed and the mask burst. His face was itself again. He bent over Orihime, distraught. "Orihime - Orihime -!"

"Stand back," Rukia commanded, striding over. "I have enough power left over to heal her with a kido spell. I can then heal Ichigo and Tatsuki and return all three to their rightful bodies. But for now, you're in my way."

She kneeled over Orihime and put her hands out. Orihime's body began healing in a glow of blue.

Sora still hung over Orihime's form, upset.

"Neither of us were ever going to abandon you, Sora," I said quietly. "We would never do that. You see those star hairpins? Orihime wears them every day. She wears them because of _you_ \- you have them to her, right? She wears them to remember you by."

Sora's eyes widened in realization.

"She just had her own way of dealing with grief," I said quietly. "Death is hard for everyone - the living and the dead."

"I - I made a mistake - I just wanted to - I wanted things to be how they used to be," Sora whispered.

"It doesn't work like that, dumbass," said Tatsuki in a hard voice, arms crossed. "Time doesn't flow backwards. If you didn't look so goddamned pathetic right now, I'd kick your ass."

Sora suddenly took my sword, pointing it toward his own face.

"Hey, what are you doing -?!" I began, alarmed.

"If I stay like this, I'll just become a monster again," said Sora quietly. "So now, while I have my mind, I'd like to be destroyed."

"But - but -"

"Ichigo, his decision is the right one," said Rukia. "You know better than anyone that I understand, but Hollows don't just stop becoming Hollows. He must be destroyed. Don't worry," she added, smiling slightly, seeing my expression. "Zanpakutoh don't kill Hollows. They cleanse them of their Hollow sins and allow them to pass on into the next life as ordinary souls.

"That's what Shinigami do, in the end. We heal troubled souls."

"... Alright," I said, sighing, loosening my grip on my sword.

Sora was just about to stab himself - when Orihime's eyes fluttered open and she spoke.

"Onii-chan." Sora paused. "There's something I always wanted to tell you. The day before you died, you brought me home a present of these hairpins. I got upset, because I thought they were too childish and I was afraid my bullies at school would make fun of them. But you'd saved up to get me these hairpins, and I rejected them. We had a huge fight and the next morning, when you went out the door to go to work, I said nothing to you. I didn't say goodbye.

"Why did it have to be that day?

"And I know it probably wouldn't have made any difference, and it probably wouldn't have kept you long enough for the car not to hit you," Orihime's voice was raw with emotion, she staring up at her brother, "but I've always wanted to say: 'Goodbye, Onii-chan. Have a nice day.'"

Sora paused, and then smiled gently, sadly. "Yeah," he said. "I'm off." He cut the sword right through his head and suddenly dissolved in a flood of blue. Orihime watched the blue pass on into the night sky with wonder. The sword dropped to the ground with a muted, unostentatious clatter.

I think that was the moment I really decided I was going to be a Shinigami.

"Sit up," said Rukia, her job complete. Then she went over to Tatsuki and healed the bruises on her neck in less than five seconds.

"What's going on?" Tatsuki asked immediately.

"Yes, Rukia-chan, Ichigo-chan, we have so many questions for you -!" Orihime began, sitting upright.

Then Rukia slung a bottle out of each pocket, popped the tops like they were guns, and poofs of smoke erupted in Orihime and Tatsuki's faces. They slumped over, unconscious.

"What the hell did you do?!" I asked, alarmed.

"Memory replacement. They'll be just fine, but some of the replacement memories can be a bit random… You'll see what I mean tomorrow," said Rukia smoothly.

* * *

The next morning at school, Orihime and Tatsuki were claiming a sumo wrestling champion had totally blown a hole in the side of Orihime's apartment last night with a gun… and me and Rukia had to play along.

Needless to say, no one believed us. Chizuru even implied that we'd probably made the hole ourselves while either doing something illegal or having some sort of orgy. How Rukia managed to remain dignified and unembarrassed through all this was a mystery to me.

"So. Random. That's what you meant," I mused, walking off campus with Rukia at the end of the day. "You used it on my family, too, didn't you?"

"Yes. It works quite well, does it not?" said Rukia dismissively. "It's not our fault humans have weird imaginations."

"Fair enough. Rukia." I paused, and she paused before me. "I've been thinking… I want to help people. I want to help people like Orihime, Tatsuki, and Sora.

"So I'll go along with this Shinigami stuff. But that's what I'm in for. The minute it stops being about helping people, I'm gone." I lifted my chin. "Deal?"

Rukia paused - and then smiled warmly. "Deal," she said. "I look forward to watching your finest efforts."

I wasn't a hero - but I supposed even I could help people, as a Shinigami.

As we began walking again, I added, "I want to learn kido. Like you used to heal me, Orihime, and Tatsuki. I know about fighting and slaying Hollows and Konso. I want to learn kido."

Rukia seemed surprised, but said, "I can make that happen. But in return… you must teach me about the living world."

"Yeah, your information definitely needs some updating," I said in amusement. "And we have to move you into my place… and into my friends base now that you've come to like my friends." My eyes gleamed and Rukia looked a bit nervous. "We have some _work_ to do."


	4. Chapter 4

4.

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

"Well, Rukia. This is my family. My Dad, I'm convinced is related to the Energizer Bunny. My sister Karin's dream is to find a career where she can kick guys in the balls for a living. And my sister Yuzu… well, Yuzu's the only normal one in the family. We're not sure what happened." Ichigo said it all so matter of factly, even as her family sent her death glares.

I was standing on the Kurosaki doorstep with a small bundle of loose summer dresses, undergarments, hygiene items, and pajamas Ichigo had helped me buy just earlier today. My school uniforms were mixed in with the pile. I was a bit uncertain - this was my introduction into the Kurosaki family's household.

I shouldn't have worried.

"Rukia-chan, I heard you're going through so much trouble!" Yuzu took my hand, emotional. "Please, stay with us for as long as you need to!"

"Just don't expect any favors. I'm still kicking your ass at sports and video games," announced Karin, crossing her arms.

"Oh, thank you," I said, looking away demurely, feigning tearful emotion. "I've been through so much, I just need -" But Ichigo's father cut me off.

"I have already told Masaki's shrine that I now have four daughters!" Dad announced, and he charged at me, his arms opened wide -

"Rukia, run!" Ichigo and her sisters called as one in alarm, but it was too late. Dad had crushed me into one of his suffocating embraces.

"Be with me, my daughter!" he cried.

"Can't - breathe -" I gasped out, my face purpling.

Ichigo put a hand over her eyes. "I can always count on you to humiliate me in front of my friends, Dad."

"You are welcome, my daughter Ichigo! It is a free service I provide!" he boomed, the sound rattling in his warm chest. I was not used to being hugged by anyone. It was extremely peculiar - oddly comforting. Was this what it was like for Ichigo all the time?

Karin freed me by punching her father in the face and telling him to stop being a perv. (His hand had been inching toward my breasts.)

"I love you too, my daughter Karin!" Mr Kurosaki said brightly from the ground. "Good punch!" He gave her a thumbs up and Karin glared.

Life with the Kurosakis from there was very surreal for me. First, they insisted that I decorate my room.

"But it's a spare room," I said, surprised and confused. "I'm only here temporarily."

"She's so insecure!" their father cried. "Relax, daughter of mine! Come into your bedroom!"

"Yeah, this is _your_ room now," said Yuzu warmly.

"You can't not decorate your room," Ichigo agreed, arms crossed, and even Karin was nodding.

They bought me an armload full of stuffed bunnies to sit on my bed, helped me paste my drawings up onto the walls, bought me drawing equipment, got me a music player and some classical instrumental music, and their father even put up a ladder by the bedroom window so that I could climb up to the roof whenever I wanted to. Ichigo framed two pictures for me - one of me with Ichigo and her family, one of me with Ichigo and her friends - and put them both by my bedside. And then, with my summer dresses hanging, drying, from the closet, it looked uncomfortably like this human room was mine.

Which would be useful for infiltration purposes. But it still made me uncomfortable. Part of me cried out at the inclusiveness of it all - I had never been very good at making friends even in the Soul Society, with a few notable exceptions, and I had always been taught that it was demeaning to make friends with humans. Also, this couldn't last forever. One way or another, I would have to leave, and the thought of having a normal human bedroom instinctively made me want to run away. But I couldn't run away, because Ichigo was still being trained as a Shinigami, needed my help, and had no other way to turn Shinigami besides my fingerless glove.

There was one night in particular. I went to Ichigo's bedroom, almost ashamed, and returned the photographs.

"I'm sorry," I said awkwardly, as Ichigo was sitting on her bed, paused from doing homework, and staring at me in surprise. "It's just - I'm not -"

"It's fine," said Ichigo, hard to read, but her brown eyes were surprisingly understanding. I returned to my room in relief, and then I heard music start to play from Ichigo's room, trailing down to my bedroom, where the door was usually kept open to give more of an idea of empty, freer space. It was a slow, sad song, and these were some of the lyrics:

 _But once you've learned to be lonely_

 _And lonely is the only thing you've known_

 _It begins to feel like home_

 _It becomes your comfort zone_

 _And once you've learned to be without someone_

 _And settle for the silence of an empty room_

 _Oh, it changes you_

 _There's a lot you have to undo_

 _Once you've learned to be lonely_

A risky move on Ichigo's part, but one that had hit me to the core. I thought of my life in the Soul Society: my lack of friends, my distant noble brother, the fact that everyone else thought I was above them, my vast empty room in that vast empty compound. _Your comfort zone,_ the song had said. A human had written that, I thought, dizzy. A mere, frail, stupid human.

Later, when Ichigo was asleep, I snuck inside her bedroom and took the frames back.

Then there were the Kurosakis themselves. They were loud, enthusiastic, constantly bickering and shouting random things, sometimes teasingly violent - shoving and hitting each other. They cheated horribly at family games; accusations were flung. They were comfortable being nude around each other, and often the sisters took baths together like little kids. Dinners were constantly informal and enormously exciting, everyone sitting on an equal level around a round table in close quarters with each other. Karin introduced me to living world sports (such as soccer and skateboarding), and to the mysterious world of "movies" and "video games" (with Ichigo's help); Yuzu helped me coordinate my wardrobe; Ichigo insisted on feeding me extra food ("you look like you're starving, eat up!" she said worriedly at practically every meal); their father showered me with genuine affection in the goofiest and most grandiose manner possible. He and Ichigo had an interesting relationship - a bickering one, but there was good nature and enormous fondness there, I could see it. In fact, most of family life seemed to revolve around Ichigo, because her sisters admired her so much.

There was something warm about it, being fed breakfast and then headed off to school with a "Have a good day!" amid a mess of siblings. Meeting up with and walking to school alongside Ichigo's friends. I had never really experienced that before.

I told myself not to get emotionally attached. They were just humans, after all, and this was only temporary. I was just acting around them, when I smiled and acted bright and happy. Just acting.

But Ichigo and her life were, in their own way, very hard to resist.

* * *

For kido lessons, we needed a place to practice. So we took the bus out of the city until we finally reached open land, empty fields, a few afternoons a week. This was where I taught Ichigo about her spirit energy. I would slam Ichigo's soul out of her body, leave the body off to the side, and train her in her Shinigami form out in a field.

"First things first: push some spirit energy out into the air around you," I said.

But Ichigo looked bewildered. "What do you mean?" she asked. "How do I do that?"

I stared. "You… you don't know how to move your spirit energy? Then how have you already defeated three Hollows and sent on Plus souls?!" I asked, incredulous.

"I dunno." Ichigo shrugged, still looking at me funny.

This was incredible for me. Ichigo had made it to rookie Shinigami - without ever consciously moving any of her spirit energy. This meant that: the power I had sensed and seen in action so far? That was just unconscious spirit energy. Like a sink tap occasionally dripping a drop of water here or there by accident.

So what would happen if the sink were turned… on?

"Okay," I said, suddenly determined. "We're going to help you feel your spirit energy." I reached out my hand and shouted, "Binding spell, the first! Sai!"

Ichigo's legs and arms sprang together and she fell over flat onto the ground again.

"Now," I said matter of factly, "break out of this binding spell. Do what you did last time."

Ichigo stared. "Uh… how? I don't know what I did last time. It just kinda… happened."

I thought maybe she needed a little incentive. "Aww, stupid little Ichigo," I said, faking contempt. "Can't even get out of a stupid little binding spell." In actuality, my _Kido_ spells were not simple to get out of, even when I was weakened, but the goading was to try to get Ichigo's blood pumping. That should trigger an increase in spirit energy.

Sure enough, Ichigo flushed and her face twisted in disbelief and anger. I felt a sudden increase in spiritual pressure, one that nearly sucked the breath right out of me, and then golden characters were suddenly flexing around Ichigo's form. "Ichigo, that's it!" I gasped out, brightening. "That's your spirit energy!"

Ichigo looked down in surprise. Then I felt her reach inside - and something unlocked.

There was a sudden BOOM and an explosion of power that knocked me off my feet. I skidded along the ground… And looked up, gasping.

A mini crater of scorched earth surrounded Ichigo, who was now standing upright, puzzled, freed from the binding spell. Testing, she _flexed_ her spirit energy - and I choked, unable to breathe. Alarmed, Ichigo sucked up all the spirit energy again - and I relaxed.

"Thank God we did this out in a field," I said at last, gasping for air, and we both laughed weakly.

Despite my laughter, though, I had noticed - Ichigo's already massive sword had become even bigger.

* * *

So that was step one. Step two was getting Ichigo to actually control the spirit energy trapped inside her. I decided to start her out with the beginning step to _Kido_ \- forming a sphere of spirit energy around oneself.

And Ichigo had absolutely no success. Not because of the normal problem, which was being able to memorize all the spells and channel the spirit energy movements in the correct way. No, Ichigo was an expert in that. She was brilliant, if somewhat emotional and reckless about it; her memory was amazing. Ichigo had a different problem.

Basically, when it came to controlling her energy, she _sucked_. There was just too much of it. She couldn't get _anything_ to form around her - not even an uneven or incomplete sphere.

I watched her, frowning, puzzled. At last, I decided to try something Shiba Kaien-dono had once taught me before his death.

"The Shiba specialize in _Kido_ ," he had said, "even though it's hard for us to master. Our unusually large spirit energy means we have had to learn shortcuts in order to master _Kido_. But once we have it mastered, we are among the greatest of them all." Then he'd grinned sheepishly. "Not to sound arrogant or dramatic or anything."

Kaien-dono had taught all those shortcuts to me.

"Okay, stop," I said, putting out a hand.

Ichigo was stubborn. "I think I can keep trying -" she began.

"I did not mean stop trying to learn _Kido_ ," I clarified. "I meant, stop how you're learning it. Try this. Close your eyes." Ichigo did so. "Imagine a circle. Fill in that circle with black color. Imagine yourself moving toward the circle…"

And my eyes widened as I trailed off in amazement. Ichigo's perfect sphere was growing larger and larger - it was now roughly the size of a _house_.

The typical size of a sphere like this one? The size of a tall human.

"Ichigo, stop, stop!" I said in alarm as it kept growing. Ichigo opened her eyes, the spirit energy phasing out, echoing around us, rippling with power.

"Was that good?" she asked.

"... Yes," I said weakly. "That was very good. Now." She suddenly became stern. "Make it smaller. The more control you have, the more of these big spells you'll be able to do."

* * *

After that came _long_ weeks of training.

Slowly, Ichigo began learning spells and mastering _Kido._ And soon, amazingly soon, her _Kido_ was massively, alarmingly powerful.

Her attack explosions were huge enough to rival Kaien-dono's or a Captain's. The first time, we hadn't been expecting this. Then the explosion had begun echoing out around its place of origin and Ichigo had yelled, "RUN!" We'd both sprinted away and were lifted off the ground by the explosion, skidding, our ears ringing.

But there was more: her shields were impenetrable, her healing immediate, her binding most likely impossible to break out of even for an experienced Shinigami. She also began practicing her _Konso_ on ghosts around Tokyo, now that she understood how the zanpakutoh siphoned off her power and could control how much entered the sword - and, the usual problems Shinigami had with loosening particularly grounded souls? Ichigo barely blinked at them.

Her sword also became smaller and smaller until it was the size of a regular katana. Not because she'd lost power. But because her control had gotten better.

And, together with her expertise in kendo and karate, her knowledge of Hollow hunting, and her increased speed, this made her quite deadly for a rookie.

"Good job, Rukia," said Urahara, smiling, the next time I went to visit him at his shop for supplies. "Young Ichigo's progress is coming along even better than I expected."

"She is a very driven person," I said reservedly, but inside I was guilty and worried. What exactly did Urahara have planned for Ichigo?

* * *

One thing I learned on weekends with Ichigo was that she was _fashionable._

Ichigo was tough, but no one ever forgot that she was a woman. Her bone and wood jewelry, her hair clips, her Black Opium perfume, her flame red lipstick and cocoa eyeliner, they enforced this - but so, it turned out, did her clothes. She would pair a crop top with a pencil skirt, in lovely colors of pumpkin, rust, dark peach, ivory, peach-pink, turquoise, gold, deep purple, in lovely patterns of leaves and branches, and she would leave me feeling very plain and inexperienced in living world fashion indeed. She had this long camel-colored trench coat that flowed over her curves and belted at the waist, emphasizing her smaller waistline, and together with a nice pair of heels and some makeup it always made her look absolutely fabulous.

Weekends were usually times for fun. Ichigo had lots of things in her world that she wanted to show me, and I - who had mostly learned about the living world from books, and quickly learned from Ichigo's constant corrections that these were out of date and inadequate - was an interested student.

The city of Tokyo was an ode unto itself. Ichigo took me to sumo wrestling stables, which were bizarre and amazing - basically, big, grunting, sweating guys went at each other in the brawling-est way possible, and wrestled each other to the ground, and people paid to watch. Ichigo snickered at my expression, placed bets, and cheered in loud ways at inappropriate moments. Even her fellow Japanese stared at her.

Pachinko parlors were fun - the object of the pachinko game was, quite simply, to get as many balls as possible through a series of pins and into the center hole. Cat cafes and themed restaurants were fun as well - cat cafes being cafes where people could play with cats while sipping at their drinks (Ichigo introduced me to a drink called "coffee" that made me bounce relentlessly off the walls for several hours yet apparently wasn't restricted), and themed restaurants being simply restaurants with a particular theme. Ichigo took me to several, including a jail-themed restaurant and a robot-themed restaurant with singing, dancing robots, but Ichigo's personal favorite was the Christon Cafe, which was themed like a "gothic cathedral" - a Western earthly building that was impossible to describe and had to be experienced, but had dark religious undertones.

This brought me to the Harajuku district. Goth Lolitas also had dark undertones. They wore tiny black dresses and curled hair and black eye makeup and carried black parasols. But there were hundreds of other fashions in the Harajuku district as well, from long ponchos and cowboy boots to heavy makeup and bright neon colors. Ichigo loved visiting the Harajuku and taking photographs of different fashions.

Ichigo also introduced me to DDR - a game called Dance Dance Revolution - which basically entailed acting like a complete spazz, and which I was horrible at. And she took me to a long street of restaurants called Piss Alley, where bizarre foods like grilled salamander, snake liquor, frog sashimi, and raw pig testicles were sold at - for a Soul Society person - absurdly cheap prices.

All food was cheap in the living world, as an interesting side note. And food was _everywhere_. You could even get food at vending machines, big machines where you could slip in coins or notes and pre-packaged food was thrown out of the machine at you. Ichigo had to show me how to open and use pre-packaged food and drinks, and we got into a whole history lesson on the Industrial Revolution, a period in human history when assembly lines full of people and machines started making the same thing over and over again and selling it to the masses - and thus large "chains" of businesses had been born, with CEOs, Chief Executive Officers, to run the corporations. You could also get a number of other things from vending machines, like condoms and hair care products, but Ichigo explained this was mostly unique to Tokyo.

The mention of condoms, of course, brought my adventures to Love Hotels. Ichigo booked us a stay for one night in a Love Hotel, and I didn't understand why we were staying at a hotel until we walked into a big glowing traditional-looking palace compound like place, and paid and got a room number from a slotted little door instead of an actual person at a desk, and then entered a huge bedroom decorated with traditional shoji that included a traditional looking bridge and a vast bed for two. There was a gigantic bath in the other room.

Ichigo saw my face and burst into hysterical laughter. "Love Hotels are where people go to have kinky weird sex!" she managed through her giggles.

"I am _not_ having sex with you, Ichigo!" I said in fierce, blushing alarm. I'd gone along with everything else, but this was where I drew the line.

"I know that! I'm not even a lesbian! I just wanted to see your face when I took you into a love hotel room!" Ichigo finally collapsed, overcome with laughter.

I sighed. _Humans_.

Then we took a bath together, onsen-style, and sat cross-legged on the vast bed as Ichigo explained in gory, enthusiastic detail all the other rooms that had been available, from boat rooms to carousel rooms to UFO rooms to Disney rooms to S&M rooms to Victorian-era rooms to under-the-sea rooms to car rooms to classrooms to - weirdly enough - rooms that looked like they were from other cities. Half of this stuff was so living world I didn't even know what it _was,_ let alone why people would want to have sex in one, and then Ichigo had to explain those things to me as well. She clearly found the whole thing highly amusing.

It was all quite mystifying. I asked Ichigo if sexual morals really were as loose here as I'd always heard, and despite the appearance of love hotels, Ichigo insisted they weren't. While courting had evolved into dating, a sort of game where people dated around with different other people to find one they liked and then left the others perhaps with emotion but not with remorse to marry their final singular choice, sex was still for most people (like Ichigo) a highly intimate and private and specialized thing, and one should never hug or kiss someone they didn't know really well in Japanese public. Even holding hands in public was thought to be a bit much, at least in Japan. Dating and sexuality were considered private affairs.

"So how do people greet each other?" I asked. "I heard it's by curtsying."

"Yeah, maybe over a hundred years ago," said Ichigo flatly. "You have to understand, here in the living world, a whole generation can die in a hundred years and another generation can be on their way out. Now, it's typical to shake hands or bow with someone, or to just say hello."

So sometimes, it was actually simpler than I had thought it would be.

Ichigo also introduced me to technology and public transportation. There were countless odd living world machines, devices, and vehicles I had to learn how to work, and public transportation - huge machines stuffed full of people of all ranks that transported the crowd from one place to another for free - were covered with stains, filled with unstable and homeless people, and frankly a little disgusting. Ichigo called me a snob.

On a slightly more normal note, I also joined all the clubs Ichigo had joined, because of course I had to be around Ichigo all the time to alert her about Shinigami duties. These at-school clubs included: kendo club and karate club (both of which Tatsuki had joined, in which I also met another girl named Mizuho, and which had lots of sparring involved), and student government. Ichigo was passionately interested in politics, and she got such good grades and read so much that she was able to explain to me much of living world thought, from political systems to philosophies to poetry. Feminism was a big one in Ichigo's life, the belief that women were equal to men and should play a more prominent role in the important aspects of society. Racism puzzled me; it involved people discriminating against each other over physical appearance and skin color. The concept of democracy both interested and troubled me; it took political power away from nobility and royalty and even the military, and instead put it back in the hands of ordinary people.

Japan was a democracy. The common people had even outlawed weapons such as swords, in a (misguided, in my opinion) effort to make their world safer.

Ichigo really did seem to love books. She introduced me to her personal favorite living world books, music, and movies (a kind of pre-recorded theater). Then there were video games, games played on electronic devices. I took an especial interest in things I had never experienced before, in particular the horror genre and comics, especially in the sci-fi and fantasy genres. So Ichigo let me borrow her horror video games, Stephen King novels, comic books and manga volumes, and urban exploration videos (urban exploration being a filmed exploration of creepy abandoned hospitals and asylums, especially late at night). Almost all horror, to my fascination, featured death in the scariest manner possible - almost as if all humans had embarked on a mission to mutually terrify each other over the all-consuming idea of death. The idea of "ghosts" really was a common one, and most abandoned places were said to be haunted, even when they really weren't. Living people were fascinated by the concept of death.

I asked Ichigo about this, and Ichigo explained, "I like seeing death played out in fiction. When it goes too far for me are with psychics and scary reality TV show hosts - people who try to make money frightening people over something that's not really there. That's where I draw the line and where it stops being enjoyable for me."

Ichigo also took me rock-climbing once - there were whole buildings and organizations who built fake walls specifically dedicated to the practice, and all sorts of special equipment had been made specifically for rock climbing.

And she introduced me to ASMR, which involved soft speaking, tapping, and other triggers needed to soothe a person to sleep. Ichigo made ASMR videos and put them on the Internet, an invisible web of communication using devices that linked people all over the living world.

Even medicine had advanced. I saw things even in Mr Kurosaki's small hospital that I had certainly never seen in the Fourth Division. Watching Ichigo in a nurse's uniform casually use medical advances was fascinating.

One of the biggest and most amazingly welcoming things Ichigo did for me, though, was immediately let me into her circle of friends.

Ichigo's friends group at school really occupied three places during lunch. Sometimes they sat underneath a tree by the baseball (a sport) diamond, sometimes they sat inside Ichigo's classroom, and sometimes they sat on the flat school roof. Either way, I was introduced to everyone in the big rowdy group, and we all sat in a giant circle, eating, talking, and joking. I was shy at first, which was true of me but also projected the kind of image I was trying to project, but Ichigo's enthusiastic friends wouldn't let me get away with that and tried to include me by asking me questions about myself. Yet they always evaded questions about my family quite neatly, only asking me questions in what they considered "safe" territory. The girls (mainly the gossip Mahana) tried to set me up on dates with several boys, despite my protests, and the boys flirted with me relentlessly - embarrassingly, Ichigo had to tell me that was what they were doing.

Mizuiro was the best flirt. By far. Chad was too quiet, and Keigo too loud and perverted, but Mizuiro could make you think you were the loveliest person in the room. Ichigo said this was a ploy of Mizuiro's, one that usually worked like a charm with older women. Chizuru flirted with me too.

"Mizuiro and Chizuru are both one of those modern daters who ain't looking to settle down and get married," said Ichigo bluntly. "They just like the feeling of being in a relationship, especially a sexual one. Don't be with them if you're looking long-term."

"Of - of course not - I never would -" I sputtered, red-faced.

Ichigo smirked. "Relax, Rukia," she said. "You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

We also hung out with Ichigo's friends outside of school.

Tatsuki and Orihime seemed to be Ichigo's closest friends. Ichigo's Dad called them "The Terrible Threesome." Tatsuki and Ichigo had met in karate class as kids - each had been the other's first friend, being the only two girls in the class - and then later they'd befriended Orihime, who was being bullied, and had taught her self-defense. Tatsuki, Orihime, and Ichigo took me out shopping with them, counseling me in the art of fashion - made more complex by the fact that they all had a different fashion sense - and sometimes we all met up in one girl's kitchen and cooked and baked sweets together.

And sometimes Ichigo just hung out with one girl or the other. She sparred a lot and traded manga comics with Tatsuki, for example, and sometimes they went to the arcade (a big shop full of electronic games to play) together, whereas she preferred snacking and watching stand-up comedy in front of the TV with Orihime, who had a great sense of humor and was a consummate daydreamer. (Seemingly an airhead, she opened her mouth and stared off into space a lot - but she had these surprising moments of great insight.)

Of course, Orihime and Tatsuki weren't Ichigo's only friends. Chad was in a rock band, and when we went to one of his band's local concerts I was introduced to my first rock concert, which was tremendously noisy and full of standing, dancing, jumping people and flashing lights. The band members just sort of went nuts with their instruments on stage, and then Ichigo was invited up to play guitar and sing with them, and with her tough black outfit and stiletto heels she fit right in, banging right along with them. She sang two numbers, Paramore's "Ignorance" and Gin Wigmore's "Man Like That", both furious dance numbers, and as she strutted around arrogantly on the stage she seemed somehow overtly sexual in a way even Ichigo usually wasn't.

By the end of the concert, even I had gotten the hang of it and was dancing around, having the time of my life. Living world concerts were fun! I felt brave enough to put my hands to my mouth and whoop, clapping, at the end, and a glowing, sweating Ichigo and her friends grinned and slapped me on the back.

Ryou, on the other hand, was a track star. That meant she was in a whole club solely dedicated to people running really fast. We visited the school's baseball stands to watch one of Ryou's "track meets", which consisted of Ryou and others racing each other around the field, leaping over various obstacles put in place specifically to hamper them. Ryou was actually almost as scary as Tatsuki and Ichigo, in her own way - she was an honor student.

Tatsuki's competitive karate spars were usually held indoors, but were similar in nature and even more vicious.

Michiru, rather shy at first, was the one I had gotten to know least, so one day I sat down next to Michiru and we bonded over a shared love of bunnies, stuffed animals, and arts and crafts. _Finally,_ I thought, _someone who gets it!_

And I didn't even realize how warmly and enthusiastically I was talking with a human.

Slowly, over time, without me fully realizing it, Ichigo got a lot of information out of me. I told her about being abandoned as an infant in the Rukongai - the districts outside Seireitei city - and being a street urchin, about my friends dying of poverty and violence rampant in the later district of Rukongai, about my early childhood friend Renji. I talked about the two of us entering the Shino Academy together, and then the way were separated twice: first when Renji was put in a higher-level class than me, and second when I was adopted by Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the mysterious noble Kuchiki clan. I told her about Kuchiki Byakuya's stiff coldness, about no one willing to be friends with me in my division except Kaien-dono, about my etiquette lessons, about Kaien-dono's death, about my confused feelings both toward Kaien and toward Renji, who was still considered a commoner.

She, in turn, told me that she had been gentle once, soft and bookish and daydreamy, "a wimp." She told me her mother's death had changed all that, had left her without tears and with a zealous determination to be the best, to protect what was important to her.

Both of us had things in our lives that had made us cold.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

 _Yasutora Sado ("Chad")_

I was sitting in the street one night with my bandmates after a gig. It would have been a normal night, if it weren't for the parakeet in a cage sitting in front of the drummer.

"What?! A cursed parakeet?!" the guitar player yelped incredulously.

"Every owner before him has died some sort of horrific death. I only found out after I got him," said the drummer worriedly, superstitious till the end. Ichigo I doubt would have stood for any of that nonsense, but she wasn't here.

"You should dump him somewhere," said the guitar player fervently.

"That's horrible!" said the drummer, shaking his head. "I can't do that!"

All of a sudden the bird shrieked and fluttered its wings, and I looked up just in time to see a big piece of construction material falling from a nearby roof down toward us. I shot upward and caught it with my shoulders. It sort of hit my head and blood covered my vision, but my body held under the strain.

If there was one thing my size and muscle and strength were good for, it was stuff like this.

"Are you alright, Chad?" one of the others asked, horrified. They had shouted as the piece of equipment had fallen and I had caught it.

"I'm fine," I said quietly.

"Fine?! You're bleeding!"

Then the bird spoke. "Thank you for saving me. My name is Shibata Yuuichi" it chirped cheerfully.

"What the hell?! It's like the bird knows what happened! It is cursed!" said the guitar player fiercely, now thoroughly spooked.

I stared at the tiny bird for a moment. I had always had a soft spot for small animals, and it looked like this one needed protection. That was what I had promised my abuelo to use my strength for.

"My name is Yasutora Sado," I said slowly. "Everyone calls me Chad."

"What, Chad? You're actually interested?" the guitar player asked disbelievingly. I supposed I was.

I wondered what Ichigo would think of this new development.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

It was lunch time at school, the day was sunny, and everyone had arrived on the flat school roof except for Chad, who for some reason was late to school today.

"Does anyone know where Chad is?" I asked.

More than one person made jokes about my boyfriend. I chucked precious food at them.

Mizuiro chuckled. "Does anyone know _anything_ about Chad?" he asked rhetorically.

"Hey, I do!" I said indignantly.

"Anyone _besides_ Ichigo?"

There was an embarrassing silence. Rukia snickered from her place beside Michiru, and that got Tatsuki and Orihime going. I blushed and glared at Mizuiro, who smiled pleasantly.

Our teasing banter was interrupted by an unpleasantly familiar voice. "Hey, Kurosaki! Looking hot today!"

I whirled around to face Ooshima, who had dyed hair and piercings and was standing there grinning at me, his gang behind him.

"Wow, Ooshima," I snapped heatedly. "I really can't understand why you don't have a girlfriend! Instead of complimenting me on something insignificant like my intelligence or my determination, you compliment me on my appearance! I mean, 'looking hot today'? How smooth is that?!"

Ooshima had flushed, the guys behind him backing away slowly. I continued, unafraid.

"And you haven't been around for a while. What's wrong, scared of Kuchiki-san? I mean, I guess I can understand why. Her sheer size alone _would_ be pretty intimidating to someone whose dick is as tiny as yours."

Ooshima growled and stepped forward, raising a fist, and Keigo got between us, laughing uneasily. "Now, now, Ooshima-san! She didn't really mean any of that! We all know no one could compete against you!"

"I could," I said, standing and crossing my arms. "I could knock this asshole into next Tuesday."

 _"Ichigo, I am trying to save your life,"_ Keigo hissed.

Ooshima scowled - and then smirked. "That's what I always like about you, Kurosaki. It's what your dyed hair shows about you. You're a rebel."

"Idiot, I've told you a million times, my hair's naturally this color," I said in irritation. "The only thing you're right about is that I don't give even a single flying fuck what other people think about me. Now get out of here!"

Ooshima shoved Keigo to the ground and stepped around him, looming over me. "I don't think I will," he said, smirk broadening.

Suddenly, Tatsuki and Mizuho stepped in front of me, and Chad appeared on the roof behind Ooshima, putting his hand on Ooshima's shoulder. Their expressions spoke of veiled danger. "It wasn't a request," said Tatsuki in a soft, threatening voice.

"Wow," Orihime murmured to Rukia, smiling. "It's not often I see Ichigo-chan's friends feel like they have to defend her." Rukia was watching and listening curiously.

Then at last, Rukia said loudly, "Oh, look, hello Takeda-sensei!"

Ooshima whirled around - and there was no one there.

"He said he went to get someone," said Rukia brightly. "I think it was… Ochi?"

"Shit, shit, let's get outta here, man!" One of Ooshima's worried thugs in training was tugging on his arm. Ooshima gave me one last glare, but he stalked off of the roof.

"If you're trying to look cool, it's not working!" I called after him, and my friends snickered. "Thanks, everybody," I said, sitting back down calmly. "Thanks, Rukia."

"Rukia-chan, you have proven your mettle! You are now one of us!" said Keigo with a thumbs up. Sometimes he really did remind me too much of my father.

"Oh, I don't know about that…" Rukia laughed uneasily.

"One of us, one of us," Chizuru began chanting, and then everyone else joined in. "One of us, one of us! Yay, I get to glomp you now!" Chizuru squealed, and leaped at a surprised and blushing Rukia, engulfing her in a giant hug. Then she pulled back and stared her in the eye. "I can tell you this now and I couldn't before… your ass is spectacular," she told Rukia matter of factly. Everybody else started cheering, except for Tatsuki, who punch-shoved Chizuru off of Rukia.

"Stop freaking our new friend out," she said, scowling.

"Now you really are one of us!" Orihime added brightly. Tatsuki protected Orihime all the time; she must punch Chizuru and Keigo off of her at least once a day. (Orihime was softer than me, and she didn't handle herself like I did.)

Rukia looked amused and cheerful and a little confused, and I spied out of the corner of my eye that she'd figured out her own pre-packaged lunch and juice box by herself. She really had come far.

"Hey, Chad, thanks for coming to my defense. What's up?" I turned to him in idle amusement. "Why are you late? Whoa." I stopped, staring, really getting a good look. "Chad, are you okay?"

He was all bandaged up.

"I am fine," he said, soft and stoical. "I am late because a steel beam fell on my head yesterday. Then today a motorcycle ran into me. My body fucked up the motorcyclist pretty badly, so I carried him to the hospital. That is why I am late."

"... Christ, Chad, Superman's got nothing on you," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. He really did seem fine. Chad wasn't just big and strong; he was damn near invulnerable.

"Yeah, that's amazing," said Michiru in wonder.

"What's that, Chad?" Keigo asked, pointing at the parakeet cage in Chad's hand. Chad set the parakeet down in front of us and we all crowded around it. It was white with red cheeks and a plumed yellow head.

"Hello. My name is Shibata Yuuichi," it said, and I froze. Then I looked up and locked eyes with Rukia, who was similarly serious. I could feel spirit energy coming off of the cage in waves when it spoke. More used to feeling my own spirit energy, I could now sense it in others when it moved around.

And there was a spirit trapped inside that bird.

"Awesome, it talks!" Keigo shouted. "Can you same my name?" he asked the bird eagerly. "My name is -"

"Idiot," said Mizuho flatly, and Keigo glared up at her.

"I was going to say One Who Looks Up Women's Skirts," I offered, shrugging. "You know. Like how Native Americans have nature names in cheesy old movies."

"I can order a book from the library that translates that into a Native American language," said Ryou simply.

"No! No, you are _not_ doing that!" said Keigo, as everyone else snickered. And the attention was successfully taken off of the talking bird.

"Chad, where'd you get the parakeet?" I asked him, trying to fake idle curiosity to mask concern. How the hell did Chad get his hands on a possessed bird?

"Was it a gift?" Rukia added, smiling brightly like this was the best thing in the world.

"Yesterday…" A long pause. "I got it yesterday," he said simply, and sat down with his lunch.

"You were just about to tell us, but then you got lazy and you cut it short!" Keigo accused, finger pointing. "I demand an explanation!"

"I gave you an explanation. No story was cut short," said Chad simply. I remembered what people kept telling me about Chad's supposed crush, and wondered idly if he'd tell me if I acted seductive. Maybe his tune would change?

Then I blushed and erased the thought. I didn't even like Chad that way! Stupid Tatsuki, manipulating my lonely teenage body and trying to get ideas into my head. I eyed Chad's taut uniform jacket over his broad shoulders, the rippling cut of his arms, and then I scowled, looking away.

I just didn't get it, I thought. He had all the elements. Quiet reserve. Artistry. Dignity. A fighting spirit. A hint of rebellion. He treated me respectfully. He was his own, independent person. He had a sense of morality. He had a really fit form - muscular, you know? He wasn't super dramatic.

But I didn't know… something was off. His body type wasn't right - I preferred slimmer looking guys, lithe men - and that might not have been such a big problem, but I'd also never been able to _talk_ to Chad the way I'd been able to talk to someone like, say, Sora. He was almost completely silent, and firmly grounded in reality. A good person, Chad was, but an intellectual, he was not. He was not good at off the ground thinking, speculation, philosophy, castles in the air. He was never one for a good conversation, or for support that didn't involve punching somebody. He wasn't politically involved; he said he liked my poetry, but he had nothing to say about it; he didn't read any books or comics or like any interesting film. Even the songs he wrote were about very concrete, simple concepts.

And he never fought back. No one intimidated him, including me, but… there was no spark. You could yell at him till the cows came home and he'd just stand there and stare at you. Someone could punch him in the face and his expression wouldn't even change. He wouldn't lift a finger unless he was defending someone else. And I guessed there was something moral in that… but it was just so… I didn't even know what to call it. I wanted someone I could have a good, long fight and then really angry makeup sex with. I needed passion - even if it was usually masked by something else.

And something about the idea of having something permanent with Chad just fell… flat.

He didn't excite me. It felt natural, like that was the inevitable way our lives were supposed to go, if I ended up with anyone at all. And I didn't necessarily have any problem with that.

But I didn't look forward to it either.

"Do not worry." Rukia had sidled up to me, misinterpreting my expression. She murmured, "There is something in that parakeet, but it is not a Hollow. It's probably just a lonely Plus spirit. We'll send it off using Konso tonight."

I sighed and sat back on my hands, faux bothered. "Well, there goes all my sleep for tonight," I said, faking a yawn. I'd gotten used to it.

"Stop complaining. It's a Shinigami's job," said Rukia, but there was no real heart in it.

"Yeah, yeah…" I rolled my eyes. Then I sat up and snapped, "Oi! Chizuru! Stop trying to get the Yuuichi bird to call Orihime 'Hime-chan'!"

* * *

 _Yasutora Sado ("Chad")_

I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't.

If I told Ichigo about the cursed bird, she'd put herself in danger trying to save me from its curse. She was just that kind of person. And I couldn't allow that. I didn't want her getting hurt because of something in _my_ life - even though she'd told me a hundred times that was the way friendship was supposed to work.

Ichigo had been different since the beginning - the first girl I'd ever met who could fight alongside me, who was innately fierce yet a good person. She was loyal to a fault, and in the end, she was kind. She wasn't intimidated by me, never had been. No one scared Ichigo.

And one could say all those things about Tatsuki or Mizuho, too, of course. But they weren't - well, they weren't Ichigo.

With Ichigo, to be fearless and pull one headfirst into a whirlwind of chaos wasn't a conscious decision. It just came naturally to her. When she called me, the song "Fearless" was what came up on my phone. Ichigo had bright grins and a teasing sense of humor and a wild kind of rebellion. She was chatty, social, and supportive. She had moments where she could be tough, and others where she could be surprisingly gentle, vulnerable. She was insolent, sarcastic, cheeky, and unafraid of anything. She was brave. She was loving. She was good at pulling people out of their shells while somehow managing to retain her own.

It didn't help that she was beautiful. It didn't help that she was aware of that and used it to her advantage. It didn't help that she was elegant and had moments of surprising reserve. It didn't help that she was wicked intelligent and incredibly artistic. It didn't help that she was very determined and hardworking with something to prove only to herself.

It didn't help that she was an excellent mother to her two little sisters. It didn't help that she was a superb nurse and a good, if adventurous, cook. It didn't help that she never thought of herself that way. It didn't help that she didn't give a shit what anyone thought about her, and swore like a sailor, and hated authority figures.

It didn't help that she was my closest friend, and also a girl, and that she made me feel protective. It didn't help that she made gentle videos of herself that could soothe a person to sleep, or that she always smelled wonderful, or that she looked deceptively soft and warm. It didn't help that she almost reached my chin. It didn't help that she wasn't afraid of any of the men who harassed her. It didn't help that she was broken in this very fundamental way that few even among her friends group realized. It didn't help that this hard girl had once been shy and gentle and daydreamy.

It didn't help that she could probably beat the shit out of me if she knew I was ever thinking of her this way. It didn't help that I knew she wouldn't, but would instead only get all awkward and embarrassed, because she would never, ever hurt one of her friends. It didn't help that she was capable of that - of getting awkward and embarrassed, despite all her seeming self confidence. It didn't help that she was a little adorable when she got like that.

It didn't help that when she had donned those heels and one of those little black outfits and gotten up onstage with me, everything just felt completely right, like it was home.

None of those things helped at all.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I got a phone call from Yuzu during a student government meeting after school that day.

"Big car wreck outside our clinic!" she called, distressed.

"Come home _now_!" I heard Karin bark in the background.

So me and Rukia hurried home, I got into my nurse's uniform, I went downstairs, and I entered the hospital - and, as usual, it was complete chaos.

"Onee-chan!" Yuzu called, seeing me, she and Karin hurrying back and forth with medical equipment, bringing people into our hospital beds one by one.

I walked into the center of the mess and immediately became calm, brisk, official. "Yuzu, Karin, you deal with getting the medical supplies. I'm bigger, so I'll move people inside."

I passed by Dad's open office doorway and he was yelling over the phone at the major Karakura hospital inside. "Goddamnit, we can only treat these people to a certain extent! They need a major hospital!" He paused and then presumably interrupted someone. "Just tell your director it's a request from Kurosaki! He'll magically find some damn beds!" Dad slammed the phone down. "Useless fuckers."

This was a frequent problem for my father. The big hospital didn't like taking transfers from smaller hospitals. That was why it had taken so long for the ambulance to arrive for Sora. Had things been different, he might have been alive.

I walked up to my seething father and put a hand on his shoulder. "You've done all you can here. Now do all you can out there." I walked away out of his office. "Come help me bring people inside."

After a moment, still grumbling to himself, he followed me.

We brought people inside, then went out to get more - and I stopped short, gasping. Sado was lying there in the street. He'd been a part of the car wreck.

 _"Sado!"_ I screamed, running over to him.

"Ichigo. I am fine," he said simply.

"Fine?! You're lying in the road bleeding all over the ground!" I shouted, hands on my hips.

"... You're right. I am close to fine," he corrected himself, still stoical and expressionless.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Oh, fuck it. Let's just get you in here. Come on. Dad! Come help me!" And we got him inside the hospital.

His shirt was taken off to apply first aid and I swallowed. There was a giant Hollow claw-mark across his back. It reeked of dark spirit energy, still moving and swirling because the attack hadn't been too long ago.

A Hollow had caused this car wreck - and, presumably, the steel beam falling and the motorcycle accident. It was too much to be a coincidence. I eyed the parakeet still clutched, unharmed, in his hand.

Was something after that Plus soul? Just what was the real reason why it was inhabiting and possessing a bird's body, anyway?

Yuuichi. That sounded like a human boy's name. He even had a surname, Shibata.

As my Dad and my sisters went to tend to the other patients, I began carefully applying first aid to the Hollow wound, trying to keep a hold on my calm, shoving Sado down wordlessly and firmly when he tried to stand up and leave halfway through. "You're staying the night," I said flatly, "you've lost too much blood," and he didn't protest, because he knew how stubborn I was. But I wasn't as fiery as usual - I was distracted.

As soon as this was over, I would need to go upstairs and talk to Rukia. This was urgent.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Karin_

I stared from a corner at the bird, swallowing, sick to my stomach.

There was a ghost inside it, and it was full of memories.

The boy was close to my age when he died, and I had more spirit energy than Yuzu. I knew, intuitively, that this was why I felt it. Felt his memories.

And this boy's memories were truly horrific. I was shaking, clammy, sweating. I could hardly bear up under the weight of the brutality.

This boy lived a terrifying existence.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I hurried upstairs to my bedroom that night. Rukia was waiting within.

"You felt it, too, didn't you?" I asked, almost rhetorically. There was no point in asking her. Of course she had.

"Yes, I felt it even all the way in here," said Rukia seriously. "The wound reeked of Hollow. Does Chad have any dead friends or relatives?"

"None of them lived near here," I said. "Do Hollows chase people across oceans?"

"Not usually," Rukia admitted. "So you think…?"

I nodded. "I think the Hollow's after the Plus spirit inside the bird," I said.

"... We must keep a very close eye on Chad," said Rukia at last, looking troubled. "Anyway, he's here for the night, so we don't have to worry about it tonight. But afterward we should keep a close watch on him, waiting for the Hollow to return."

* * *

The next morning, I went on my morning run and made breakfast as usual, filled with a sense of false calm. Dad was up first, going into the hospital to check on his patients. Rukia came down next of her own accord, and then I went to wake up Karin and Yuzu.

Yuzu got up right away after I shook her awake, but I kept shaking Karin, and she moaned, pale and sweaty, curling in on herself.

"Not feeling well?" I said after a moment, puzzled. "That unusual."

I left and came back with some medicine and some reheated warm soup. "Why don't you just take it easy and stay home from school today, okay?" I asked her.

I reentered the kitchen and Rukia asked curiously, "Is Karin sick?"

"Yeah," I said, "and it's kind of weird, because she never gets sick."

Just then, Dad burst through the hospital doors back into the living room. "Ichigo!" he said. "Your friend Chad ran away last night! He's not in his hospital bed!"

"What about the bird he had?" I said, as me and Rukia tensed.

"It's gone too!"

I gritted my teeth. Goddamnit. Chad was trying to be protective and play the hero.

"Ichigo, you have to understand." My Dad looked worried, pained. "Your friend was in no condition to leave."

* * *

Me and Rukia separated and ran around to all the places we thought Chad could usually be. But when we met back up, neither of us had anything.

"Damnit! There must be something!" I swore. "Maybe a Hollow alert?"

Rukia shook her head. "Nothing on the alert system, and nothing on my sensing radar either," she said. "Hollows often hide themselves in Hueco Mundo except if they escape to hunt down prey. We might not be able to feel the Hollow after Shibata Yuuichi until the next attack."

"By that time it'll be too late! There must be something we can do to find Chad…" I brightened. "Hey! What if we try to sense out the spirit inside the parakeet! That will lead us to where Chad is. Chad doesn't have much spirit energy, but the bird gives off lots because it's a Plus soul, right?"

"Ichigo, even for an experienced Shinigami, to sense out one spirit among thousands would be -" Rukia began.

I ignored her, closing my eyes. I used my huge cloud of reiatsu, and stretched it out farther, and farther, and farther, sensing. No Hollows. The muffled feelings of living humans. Lots of Plus souls. Plus souls! That was what I was looking for. Now to sift through them and find the correct one…

I opened my eyes to find thousands of spiritual white ribbons had fallen around me. I knew, somehow, that they were all the souls in Tokyo. I felt through them, searching for the correct one…

"Ha!" I said triumphantly. "There!" And I grabbed the correct ribbon. All the ribbons faded away. "I've got their location. Follow me!"

Rukia had stopped, stunned. "What is it?" I turned back around to her, puzzled.

She at last smiled. "Oh, nothing," she said. "It's just… those are Spirit Ribbons… that's a Captain and Vice Captain level technique. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, if you mastered Kido in a matter of weeks," she said weakly. "That's… expert tracking."

"Yeah, well, I can only do it consciously," I said slowly. "Or… well, I can sense spirit energy unconsciously if it moves and it's close to me. Like with Shibata Yuuichi. It's not like I'm perfect, or anything."

"You're better than most," said Rukia. "Especially considering you just started training a couple of months ago."

I wondered just how much better than most I was.

But there was no time for that. I shook my head, getting myself back in the game. I had to go find Sado!

I ran off, and Rukia followed me.

* * *

 _Yasutora Sado ("Chad")_

"Mister… you're really nice."

I looked down at Yuuichi, stopping beside the series of abandoned warehouses I'd run to.

"I've got to be honest," said the parakeet in the cage, pained. "Everyone who owns me gets awful luck."

"... I know," I said, because at this point that was obvious.

"Mister… you've been so good protecting me… for your own sake, please abandon me." Yuuichi hung his head.

"No," I said. He was small and fragile and he needed my protection. "I can't do that."

We entered the warehouse and sat in there for a while, hiding from whatever mysterious, invisible monster was after Shibata Yuuichi. "I guess we lost him," I offered after a long time had passed in silence.

"Mister, please!" said Yuuichi. "You don't have to do this anymore!"

"It's okay. I don't mind," I said softly, still staring straight ahead of myself. "Being tough is my one good trait. I enjoy using it."

Suddenly, there was a rumbling from above. It had found us. It was coming. I grabbed Yuuichi's cage and began running toward a broken window.

"Mister -!" Yuuichi began.

"Don't worry. This is nothing," I said quietly, and leaped through the window, shattering glass everywhere, to the street outside.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

We caught up with Chad and the parakeet in a city street. "There he is -!" I began, excited - then Chad saw me and began running away from me. "Idiot!" I cried. "It's dangerous alone!"

I knew why he was doing it. To protect me. That didn't make it any less infuriating. I did not need protection! I could take care of myself!

"Ichi-nee…" I whirled around. A sickly, pale Karin was staggering down the street toward me, in her pajamas, leaning against the wall beside her.

"Karin! What are you doing out of bed?! You can't even stand up straight!" I scolded, worried - and even as I did, Karin collapsed.

"Karin!" I cried, running toward her -

"Ichigo!" I paused. Rukia had called me. I half expected her to tell me the Hollow was more important, but instead she said, "Take Karin home. I'll go save Chad." She turned away stiffly so I couldn't see her face, proud till the end. "Karin and Chad are my friends, too, after all."

"But -!" I began in protest.

"No complaining!" Rukia turned to me. "Karin needs to be taken care of, she is a soul too, and in any case if we left her here now you'd be distracted while fighting the Hollow, and I can't have that. So go," she said smoothly, business-like. Then she began to leave.

I turned and gathered up Karin in my arms. "... Rukia." She paused.

"You still haven't recovered your powers enough to handle a Hollow, have you?" I asked rhetorically.

Rukia was silent.

"Be careful."

Rukia smiled. "Like I would worry you by messing up and taking unnecessary risks." And she ran away.

I sprinted back toward my house, Karin in my arms. "Karin!" I called. "Hold on! We'll get home very soon! This isn't like you," I added worriedly, almost in a murmur.

"Ichi-nee… I saw it… the strongest memory that exists inside the ghost that possesses that bird…"

I stopped short.

"Ichi-nee…" There were tears in Karin's eyes; she clutched at me. I hadn't seen Karin cry since our mother had passed away, I realized distantly. Yuzu had reacted by becoming more fragile, Karin by becoming tougher. Karin didn't cry when she got in trouble, or when she broke her leg, or when she lost fights. Karin never cried at all. "Ichi-nee… that boy's mother was murdered right before his very eyes…"

Something stopped inside my chest. That hit a little too close to home.

"Ichi-nee… please… save that little boy!" Karin sobbed, shaking, clutching at me. "Tell him… tell him he can see his mother if he passes over to the other side… tell him… tell him…"

She passed out.

"... Karin," I whispered, "it's okay. Leave this to me."

I thought I saw the lines of stress in her face relax minutely.

I had to get Karin home. And then… then I had to find Rukia, Chad, Yuuichi, and the Hollow.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

I ran after Chad and the Plus spirit, ran and ran and ran, and never caught up. Chad's legs were longer than mine. Damnit! If I weren't in this gigai, this would be easy. Why were a gigai's powers all the same as an ordinary human's?! Those morons at the Twelfth Division science and technology sector!

I was starting to run out of breath… they were falling farther away…

"What a delicious smell," came an eerie Hollow's voice from right behind me.

I froze and whirled around. There was no one there. It had slipped back into the space between worlds. I paused, breathing hard, staring around me…

And then something grabbed at my leg and the Hollow appeared, beaming right into my face, leering. I jumped horribly. "You smell delicious," it hissed. "Let me… devour you!"

I broke out of its grip in a karate move and leaped away from the power it was ejecting from its mouth.

"Hm. Won't just die in one shot, huh? And it appears you can see me. Just who are y -?" I impolitely interrupted by the Hollow by leaping upward and shoving a knee into its teeth. Then I leaped on top of it, whirled around, and called out a destruction spell incantation, throwing out my hand.

There was a brief explosion where I had aimed. Good. At least that much of my power was back.

Then I gasped. The smoke had disappeared and the Hollow was completely unharmed! Impossible. He wasn't even scratched!

I landed on the ground before the Hollow, increasingly alarmed.

The Hollow chuckled. "I know that trick! It's a Shinigami spell, right?" His eyes narrowed in glee. "But yours is so weak I felt nothing!"

He aimed for me and I dodged again, leaping back. Wondering in the back of my head what the hell to do.

"A Shinigami. So that's why you smell so delicious. I've already eaten two Shinigami who have tried to help that little kid pass on!" The Hollow grinned. "Both delicious."

"You keep going after the child inside the parakeet," I said tightly. "Why? What is he to you?"

"If you let me eat you without struggle first, I'll tell you!" the Hollow crowed, and then it laughed when I growled. It whipped out a hand and shoved me against the far wall, obscuring my whole body with just a claw; I struggled and gasped for breath, but to my frustration, I could do nothing. "Are you really a Shinigami?" it asked mockingly, applying more pressure. "Why don't you shed that human form?"

Suddenly, a fist reared out from the side and punched the Hollow away with incredible strength. I looked around - Chad was there. I could feel the parakeet hidden somewhere a ways back. Chad had come back for me; he must have heard the sounds of the fight. And he… had punched the Hollow? That indicated spirit energy!

Could he… see Hollows…?

Then Chad began punching thin air where the Hollow had been, and I sighed. Maybe not. He was fighting using guesswork.

"Haha!" the Hollow crowed, recovering. "I almost thought he could see me -!" Then Chad punched him right in the face by accident and he flew backwards.

"Got him," said Chad simply.

Chad was facing down an enemy he could not even sense - and he was doing it _calmly_. Ichigo had told me about Chad - that he'd saved her from getting beaten up, it was true, but when he himself was beaten up, he wouldn't lift a finger to defend himself. He hadn't even looked afraid. He'd just laid there, letting himself get punched up. Ichigo got angry and frustrated even at the memory, anger and frustration mixed with respect. So he wasn't afraid of getting beaten up, and he wasn't afraid of fighting an enemy he couldn't hear or see.

Did Yasutora Sado have _any_ fear?

Then suddenly the Hollow unveiled wings like a bat and lifted up into the air. "Can't hit me up here! What are you going to do now, you good-for-nothing Shinigami?!" it jeered.

"Chad, it's flown into the air! We can't defeat it that way, run!" I called.

"Rukia… you can see ghosts?" said Chad in surprise. "And where's Ichigo?"

"Never mind that, you need to -!"

"What direction did he fly away in?"

"... What?" I stared.

"In which direction did he fly away?" Chad repeated simply.

"What good would knowing that do?" I asked in bewilderment.

In response, Chad turned around, grabbed an electric pole by its bottom, and yanked it up firmly off of the ground and into the air. He then swung it - I pointed and shouted - and hit the Hollow right over the head, bashing it back into the ground in the midst of a mocking tirade.

I walked forward. "Now, Hollow," I said calmly, "give up. Someone is on their way to finish you off as I speak."

But the Hollow started laughing. Laughing hysterically there on the ground.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"No wonder you Shinigami are always getting beaten by Hollows!" The Hollow grinned, its eyes narrowing. "You take us far too lightly."

Then little creatures that the Hollow somehow controlled leaped on us from behind, pinning us to the ground by our arms and legs. The Hollow straightened, circling around us as we struggled. "Now… who should I eat first…?" it wondered thoughtfully. "Maybe I'll save the guy for last?"

But then, with a cry and a show of strength, Chad shouted and shoved off the creatures, leaping up straight. He then punched in the general direction of the Hollow, who just barely managed to dodge him, and began punching thin air.

"Do you think you can solve everything with muscle?!" the Hollow yelped incredulously.

"Chad! Punch the air directly above me!" I barked, and Chad kicked the (invisible to him) creatures off of me, freeing me.

The Hollow had lifted away up into the air again, higher than any electric pole could reach this time. "Chad! Stop punching the air and listen to me!" I cried. Chad turned around, puzzled. "I have an idea." I smirked.

* * *

Chad had me curled up in his arms, about to power-shoot me into the air toward the Hollow.

"This does not seem like the wisest idea, Rukia," he said simply.

"I don't need to take that from you," I snapped. "It'll work perfectly." The Hollow was jeering victory again. He was getting annoying. "Fire!"

Chad shot me upward into the air, and I flew at the Hollow, who stopped in surprise. "Give up!" I called smugly.

 _"Okay, okay, I give!"_ He smirked. "Not." Another creature on his shoulder spat leeches out at me; they impacted on my body and I fell out of the air. Chad ran forward and just managed to catch me in time.

"What happened?" he asked quickly.

"The plan didn't exactly work as expected!" I spat, sitting up. "What are these? Leeches?!" I tried yanking at them, but the Hollow had flown down to our level.

"They won't come off easily," he said, landing. "Besides. They're my targets."

He opened his mouth and gave a high-pitched, shrill cry. The leeches all over my body exploded in hot bursts of pain and I blacked out.

* * *

When I woke up, it was to a grim sight.

Chad had stood, his eyes locked on the bird cage, which was right behind the Hollow. One of the little creatures that created leach bombs was on top of the cage.

"Chad, stop!" I called, sitting upright. "If you move even one step, he plans to blow up that birdcage!" That little bird had its head hung in shame.

"Rukia… what about you?" Chad asked quietly, turning to look at me.

The Hollow locked eyes with me. "So, Shinigami… Want to play?"

"Don't worry about me, Chad," I said, standing, smiling. "I made a promise not to mess up."

Then I turned around, and began running. I heard the Hollow and its creatures laugh and give chase, following me. Chad and the birdcage fell behind.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I had sensed them out fairly easily. A lot of spirit energy was being thrown around.

I passed by Chad and the birdcage, which had some sort of weird, Hollow-like creature sitting on top of it. I cut through it from behind, the parakeet lifted its wings and screeched in greeting, and Chad immediately ran toward it.

But that wasn't where the Hollow was.

I ran farther and farther forward… to where Rukia, who was bleeding from several different places, was running from the Hollow and more of those little creatures. The Hollow was cackling with laughter.

I could see what had happened. He'd tied Chad down so he could enjoy attacking Rukia.

As I caught up to them quickly, using spirit energy flowing through my physical body, I saw Rukia stop and so did the Hollow.

"Are you giving up already?" the Hollow asked. "How boring."

"I am not giving up," said Rukia calmly, not even dignifying the Hollow with a glance. "I simply have no need to run any longer."

"What?" The Hollow sounded caught off guard.

"You said I could fight back, correct? That I could attack?" Rukia turned around. "In that case, I will take you at your word!"

How dramatic. I smirked, and leaped on top of the Hollow, crushing it underneath my feet in a direct flow of spirit energy. It choked, squirming around, struggling.

"Right, Ichigo?" Rukia smiled.

I sighed. "You really shouldn't say stuff like that when you're so beaten up, you know," I said. "Switch me?" Rukia ran forward, shoved her fingerless glove at my body, and pulled my physical form off to the side. Then it was my Shinigami form standing on top of the Hollow, not my physical form.

I took out my sword and reached it down to skewer the Hollow through the head. Then the creatures leaped forward, spitting out leeches -

"Be careful, Ichigo!" Rukia called. "They're bombs!"

I shouted a kido incantation and put up a shield for half of them - the Hollow's spirit energy couldn't even come close to matching mine - and then I used increased speed to whirl around and cut through all the rest.

But meanwhile, the Hollow had squirmed out from under me and leaped away. I lowered shields, getting into a kendo stance with my sword.

"The Hollow has been tracking the soul inside the bird, Ichigo," said Rukia. "Killing all the people who try to protect the boy."

My eyes narrowed, suspicion filling me. This Hollow couldn't be… the person who murdered the boy's mother…?

"Hey, who are you?!" I shouted at last. "Why are you after the kid?!"

The Hollow leered, chuckling. "You are much stronger. Perhaps I should have chased you from the beginning?!"

"Ichigo!" I heard Chad run up behind me. He must see my physical body.

"Chad! Perfect timing! Take Ichigo and the bird away somewhere safe!" Rukia said sharply. "Trust me. This is for everyone's good - including Ichigo's."

Chad paused - then he took up my body in an amazing display of faith, took up the parakeet cage, and started running. The Hollow sent little creatures after him, and I ran in between them, blocking all the creatures from reaching Chad in another kido spell.

The Hollow lifted into the sky - I ran up the air levels after him.

We chased each other around through the sky, then back onto the ground. I dodged creature after creature, cutting through them countless times. I lifted my hand and sent a kido spell straight at the Hollow, controlled, strong, and vicious, and its legs exploded in a shower of Hollow blood, coming out from underneath it. I waved my hand with a second spell and its wings exploded; the Hollow screamed.

More creatures swarmed out around me in the hundreds; I whirled around, cutting, cutting, cutting, until at last, standing there, breathing hard, they were all gone. Little splatters of green and dead leeches around me.

I crunched through the grime, coming up to stand before the Hollow, who was trying to crawl away. It opened its mouth, and I shoved my sword straight through its jaw and through its tongue, cutting out the piece of his mouth that could make Hollow sounds.

I kicked it over, and stuck my sword into its belly, jiggling it around. It made pitiful noises. "Who are you?!" I shouted. "Why are you after the kid?! Did you kill his mother?!"

"... Of course I did. In my life, I was serial killer… It was all over the TV… My last victim was the kid's mother. She tried so hard to protect her son… I chased her out onto the veranda… She died shielding him."

I felt breath leave me, choking me.

 _"MOM! MOM! No, Mom, please! MOM! I'm sorry! MOM!"_

"But the little brat grabbed my shoelaces and I fell off of the veranda and died. Who'd have thought I'd die because of a stupid slip up like that? So I made the kid pay. I put his soul into the body of a parakeet, and told him if he survived me chasing him for three months, I would bring his Mommy back to life. It was fun… I got to kill everyone who tried to protect the little kid… And whenever he told me he wanted to quit, I reminded him that his Mommy was waiting for him to save her… And he would cry, 'Mom! Mommy! Mom!'"

Fury filled me, choking rage.

 _I woke up, turned around in the mud and blood, and saw my Mom's pale, dead face staring into mine._

 _I screamed, my mind breaking._

 _People were pulling me away._

 _"MOM! MOM! No, Mom, please! MOM! I'm sorry! MOM!"_

The Hollow was laughing weakly. He stopped laughing, very suddenly, when I began slicing. He screamed as I sliced him slowly down the middle, from head to toe, my teeth gritted. Then I sunk my sword deep into his skull, into his brain matter, turning it and turning it.

He cried out, writhing.

I stuck my face close up into his. _"Go to hell,"_ I whispered, my eyes big and unstable, and I sliced through his head. _"GO TO HELL!"_ I screamed.

He dissolved in an explosion of greenish blue - and then huge gates suddenly appeared before him. Burning red gates, manned by skeletons, seething heat. I took a few steps back, the breath suddenly sucked out of me.

"That is Hell." I turned around to find Rukia standing there solemnly. "The zanpakutoh can only wash away the sins committed as a Hollow, or after death. For all other sins… the gates of Hell open, and swallow you whole.

"That is the fate of a serial killer."

The gates exploded open, breathing out hot air, and the Hollow was skewered on the tip of a gigantic sword attached to an equally gigantic arm. The gates swung closed, cracked, crackled, and fell to the ground in an explosion of ash and dust.

"Ichigo… are you alright? I saw how it ended… Chad and I heard the story from the little boy inside the parakeet, Shibata Yuuichi. And I know -"

"I'm fine," I said quietly, suddenly upset and emotionally exhausted. "I don't want to talk about it."

"... Alright," said Rukia, nodding. "Let's return to the others -"

I paused her, reaching up a hand and healing all her wounds in a flash of Kido within seconds. "... But thanks," I added, smiling, and after a moment, she smiled back.

* * *

Rukia and I were kneeled around the birdcage, me in my Shinigami form, reaching out and sensing. Chad stood off to the side nearby.

"... There's no Chain of Fate left, is there?" I murmured sadly. "Even Kido couldn't return him to his body."

"That is correct. This boy…" Rukia winced. "Is already dead."

The little parakeet sagged sadly. "Shibata," Chad murmured, a little frown forming over his face.

"D-don't worry!" said Rukia to Yuuichi brightly. "The Soul Society is a very nice place!"

But I knew from Rukia's stories - it wasn't always, not in the commoner's Rukongai districts where dead souls went. The poorer villages could sometimes be vicious. And Yuuichi had no spirit energy, no way of moving up in society.

"Don't bullshit him, Rukia, he knows he's going to the land of the dead," I sighed, and Rukia fell silent. "But hey, Yuuichi, I didn't think you'd need any incentive to go." I smiled as Yuuichi looked up at me. "Isn't the land of the dead… the Soul Society… where your Mom is?"

Yuuichi brightened. "Mommy! Mommy!" he chirped.

I smiled sadly and looked away. I most decidedly did _not_ get teary for a second. I did _not_.

"Okay, let's do this," I said with a deep breath, standing. Rukia looked concerned.

"Is he about to go?" Chad asked suddenly. Rukia looked around and nodded. "Yuuichi. When I die and pass over… Maybe we can meet up, and I can carry you around again. You know. For old time's sake." He smiled a bit.

"... Thank you for protecting me, Mister," said Yuuichi at last. "I would like that."

"Sure. You're safe now."

I stepped forward to perform the Konso. I just saw a flash of a round-faced little boy with curly, messy brown hair, before he disappeared in a flash of glowing blue. A Hell butterfly led the little blue dot up into the sky.

And so all was resolved.

I grabbed the Memory Replacement bottle from Rukia, said mercilessly, "Sorry, Chad," and puffed it in his face. He passed out.

I walked over to Rukia, who was still staring up at me. "Glove, please?" I said smoothly. "I can do Kido now and control my spirit energy; I can use it on my own." I held out my hand.

Silently, she handed it over. I put it on, collapsed toward my body, and pushed my soul toward my body, in the chest area. My soul pulsed once, and then I was a human again. I sat up, reaching out to give the fingerless glove to Rukia.

"No, you keep it," she said, suddenly unreadable. "And the Memory Replacement. You've grown a lot, haven't you, Ichigo? I guess you don't need me anymore." She smiled uneasily.

"Don't be ridiculous," I said. "There's probably still tons of stuff I don't know about being a Shinigami. And if you hadn't been there, Karin would have been in a really bad way. And I don't even know this Urahara guy you get stuff from, or how to use half of it. Besides…" I stood and looked down at her. "This is your _home_ now. You always have a place with us."

Rukia looked out over Karakura, and then she smiled quietly. "I am still getting used to that idea," she whispered. "Thank you, Ichigo."

* * *

 _Kurosaki Karin_

I felt the boy release into happiness, back in my bed at home, and I finally fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

"... Thank you, Ichi-nee," I whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

6.

 **A Brief Interlude**

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

Urahara's two little brats, Ururu with black pigtails and red-haired obnoxious Jinta, were playing pretend games of baseball outside the small shop door. Well, Jinta was. Ururu was begging him to help clean up, out of fear of Urahara's massive assistant Tessai, and then getting picked on by her "brother."

I grabbed the broom, the fluffy top of which Jinta had been using to shove on Ururu's head, and said flatly, "You never change, do you, runt? Is the boss in?"

Their loud shouts turned quiet as they both turned to frown up at me.

Sort of like with an organ transplant, staying in a fake body for a certain amount of time required medicine. Or otherwise the physical body would start to not work, rejecting its spiritual counterpart.

My body's connectivity levels were very low. I needed new medicine.

Jinta reluctantly slid open the wood shop doors - in true Soul Society style, the shop was very traditional - and Tessai, who was very large with glasses and dark dreadlocks, paused. "Jinta, it's too early to open up shop - Kuchiki-san!" He saw me and lowered the boxes in his arms, bowing. Tessai, like Urahara, was an exile from Soul Society. He knew about preferential ranking. "I will wake up the boss -"

"Too late. I'm already awake." Urahara yawned, walking out into the shop from the back where he and his gang slept, already in his boat hat, getting into his geta sandals. "Good morning, Jinta, Ururu, Tessai - and Kuchiki-san." He smirked. "I just got in a fresh shipment. What would you like today?"

As Urahara rang me up for fuel, he asked, "Need anything else?"

"No. I am satisfied," I said.

"Oh?"

"You sound surprised."

"I would have thought you'd have ordered something by now for Kurosaki-san," he said slyly.

"I don't know what you're implying," I returned stiffly. "Ichigo knows where I am right now; I told her what was going on. Ichigo and I have been getting on very well of late. Her lack of zanpakutoh release aside - and that should never become a problem - Ichigo is a fine unseated Shinigami. And I have blended very well into her surroundings. I assure you, all is well. I'm even beginning to not hate _you_ so much, Urahara," I added goadingly.

It was true - everything about Karakura, even Urahara's shop, had become routine. I had fit in comfortably, without even thinking about it.

"You hurt me, Kuchiki-san," said Urahara idly. "I heard Kurosaki-san can even sense, perform Kido, do memory replacement, and return herself to her own physical form. You don't feel a little useless?"

"Ichigo and I have discussed it and there are many reasons why I must stay. Only one thing troubles me," I admitted.

"And that is?" Urahara asked.

"My powers still have not returned. It's gotten to the point where I'm asking for more fuel from you," I said worriedly. "I am sending in regular Shinigami reports and on the surface, all seems normal… But I worry."

"It's natural. But as you said, all is going well, Kuchiki-san," said Urahara calmly. "Surely they will not suspect anything from such detailed reports as you can provide. You can give them all the goings-on in detail, only substituting yourself in for Ichigo. In fact, if you left now, I believe they would come looking for you, and young Kurosaki-san and her family would get caught in the crossfire.

"Your powers will return soon enough. Do not worry over trifling things."

I shook my head at myself. Leaving was a silly idea. Of course, all was well.

"Do you need anything else, Kuchiki-san?"

"No, Urahara. Ichigo can take care of herself. And as you said, all is well."


	7. Chapter 7

7.

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

So everything was going normally, and I'd fallen into a kind of groove. Rukia and I were doing Shinigami missions, just minor Hollows and Konso rituals, and otherwise we'd fallen into a routine with my family and friends and school and hobbies. Everything was going quite well.

Then I checked my phone one morning, and I froze, staring down at the date.

 _June 16._

One day left. Only one. I swallowed, feeling a strange, empty sensation well up inside me.

I went about my routine that morning, making breakfast, walking to school with my friends. But I was distracted.

"Are you alright, Ichigo?" Rukia asked at last, puzzled.

I made an attempt to smile. "I am fine," I said, my voice strained, and I sped up to walk ahead. The silence behind me made it obvious that my act wasn't very good.

"... What's the date?" Tatsuki suddenly asked in a mutter behind me.

"June 16th. Why?" Orihime asked, puzzled.

"... Ah. I see. She's tense," said Tatsuki quietly, somber.

"Tatsuki -?"

"Don't worry. I know the reason why. She's going to skip school tomorrow. The Kurosaki Clinic will be closed tomorrow, too."

And Tatsuki would say nothing further, silently protecting me from all intruders for the rest of the day. She promised my curious friends that she'd talk to them all about it tomorrow, while I was busy. I did my best to smile and act normally - like everything was okay, and everything was fine, and I did not feel like falling into a pit of overwhelming despair.

I usually hid when I was like this, but I'd been so busy as a Shinigami, the date this year had come as a surprise to me.

That night, my family was as usual spirited and bickering, as we sat around the kitchen table discussing our roles for tomorrow. I was the cook, making the picnic lunch. Karin and Yuzu were the porters. Dad was the head of the project - as decided by Dad himself.

He and Karin got into an argument over power roles, and I smiled slightly, sadly, watching them.

I had taken her away from them. I had that thought every year.

I went back upstairs and met with Rukia in the hallway. "That looked like fun!" she said, smiling. "I thought you weren't the kind of student who skipped school to play hooky, Ichigo," she added slyly, but I was not in a playful mood.

"Rukia… can I take the day off tomorrow?" I asked softly.

"What?! Of course you can't, that's ridiculous! Why?!" Rukia demanded.

I nodded. "Thought so," I said, subdued.

Rukia looked positively alarmed. "Ichigo, what's gotten into you?!"

"Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother's death. We're going to visit her grave." Rukia stopped short, her eyes widening. "And if I can't take the day off… I guess you'll have to come with us," I said, looking away, pained.

Rukia opened her mouth - and then closed it again. "Oh," she said. Then, in a muted tone, "... I'm sorry."

I nodded. "Thanks," I said, like it mattered. "But it's not me you should be saying sorry to. I caused the whole thing. If anyone deserves an apology, it's my family."

"Ichigo -" Rukia began compassionately, but I'd swallowed and turned away toward my bedroom door, opening it. Then, "... What was she like?"

I looked around in surprise, my eyes dark with some emotion I couldn't precisely define. I stared at Rukia for a moment, and then I sighed. "Come on in," I said, standing aside and allowing her into my bedroom.

We sat on my bed across from each other by the lamp light. I reached into my bottom dresser drawer and took out a bottle of perfume. "This was her favorite scent," I said. "She wore it always. I get a new bottle every so often - for sentimentality's sake. Lavender. It was always really relaxing to me, getting a hug, having that scent on her clothes.

"She…" I swallowed, my voice soft and hoarse, not meeting Rukia's eye. Rukia seemed sympathetic. "She was a good mother," I choked out. "She had a great sense of humor. Dad would be at his bizarre or flirtatious best for her, and she'd just laugh and laugh it off. She teased him, you know. He had a lot more energy with her around, and… that's saying something.

"She was a very calm, soothing person. A rock, you know? She always kept her head even when no one else did. She was a good cook and a great housewife. She'd chosen a traditional path in life, but no one ever mistook her for weak. She tried to make home a very secure place for us. I think she wanted our first memories to be loving, happy ones. She could be a fierce defender when it came to her children.

"She liked to sing to herself as she went around doing household chores. Her singing was always a little off key.

"She liked watching gushy soap operas, and hosting sleepovers with our friends for us. She would watch cartoons with us and invent fun games we could all do together. Karin and Yuzu don't remember that so much, but I do. I remember.

"She was the most beautiful Mom ever. All the other kids admitted so. She was gorgeous: tall, curvy, and elegant, with modest, refined clothes and warm brown eyes and long, messy, cinnamon colored hair. She had this really sophisticated sense of fashion, and her makeup was a little subtle, but always picture perfect.

"She had this unique ability to pull everyone in around her, effortlessly, without trying. She had a really defined sense of herself that I think people found appealing. You couldn't help it. You just… liked her. The whole household revolved around her. Karin, Yuzu, Dad, me, everyone. She was the sun and we were planets. She was the center of our solar system.

"It's hard to describe her in words. She's one of those people you just kind of had to meet for yourself, you know?

"When I grew up…" I was clutching at my hair, at my forehead, curled in on myself, sobbing by now, my voice shaking. "When I grew up, I wanted to be just like her…"

Rukia sat there silently with me until I'd gotten myself under control. She said nothing, but she stayed until I fell asleep.

* * *

My sleep was troubled. I had nightmares again that night.

 _I woke up, turned around in the mud and blood, and saw my Mom's pale, dead face staring into mine._

 _I screamed, my mind breaking._

 _People were pulling me away._

 _"MOM! MOM! No, Mom, please! MOM! I'm sorry! MOM!"_

* * *

 _Eikichiro Saidoh (Shinigami)_

I was playing tops with some kids in the Rukongai when the order came. I was from the Rukongai; I cherished a certain fondness for the place that most nobles did not. I let the kids win over and over again. They shouted with increasing glee.

Then I looked up and saw a Shinigami standing there in a black mask. Fun time was over.

They never let me see their faces, but they gave me orders. I was sent after people who were suspected to have broken the Soul Society's laws.

I told the children I had to leave, giving them some coins in response to their complaints. Then the fellow and I found a quiet spot underneath the eaves of a traditional wood house on one of the many dirt Rukongai roads, looking out over trees and a river, and my paperwork was given to me.

"Who is it this time?" I asked curiously, taking the envelope.

"Kuchiki Rukia."

"Kuchiki?" I said in surprise, pausing. That was a damn big name. I thought I remembered her from my Academy days, too. You couldn't get two sentences out of the girl I remembered - she was very stiff and frosty and duty-bound, the last person you'd expect to get in trouble with the higher ups. "And what has that young lady done?"

"She has stayed too long in the human world."

I chuckled. "Is that all?" I joked.

As usual, they had no sense of humor. "You know we wouldn't be calling you in if that were all," said the fellow sternly. "She keeps putting off the date of her return home in her regular reports, but we can't figure out why. People are getting antsy. Also we're starting to have reports trickle in that a Shinigami in District 3600 who doesn't look like Kuchiki has been sending on souls."

"Really? What's he look like?" I asked curiously.

 _"She,"_ the other man corrected, and my eyes widened in momentary surprise. "She's tall with telltale messy orange hair tied up behind her head in a hair clip. She's usually wearing dangling earrings. People keep babbling about incredible spiritual pressure and a mysterious perfume that always foretells her appearance.

"It must go without saying at this point, but no Shinigami in our forces matches that exact description."

"Right. So I take it I can use a little force if necessary?" I added, my tone purposefully light.

The masked Shinigami said nothing, which meant "yes, but if it turns out you've fucked up, we won't get blamed."

"Leave immediately," said the masked Shinigami, and he leaped away.

I sighed. "Kuchiki Rukia, Kuchiki Rukia, what have you done?"

* * *

 _Grand Fisher (Hollow)_

None of the Hollows I had sent after my latest target had worked. Typical. If you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself.

"I shall go myself," I told the smaller Hollows gathered around me in Hueco Mundo.

I smirked, my eyes glinting. It had been quite a while since my own personal hunt… Perhaps this would turn out to be fun…

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

Rukia went with us to the gravesite the next day. Dad at least seemed fine with it. He said he could now "introduce his fourth daughter to Masaki." He always said stuff like that, even though he knew that we knew Mom wasn't around to hear it.

We all got into the car on the morning of - I'd packed the perfect picnic lunch, mostly for my family's sake - and we drove toward the graveyard. I wasn't looking forward to it. I never felt connected to my Mom around graves and memorials in her honor. All I ever felt was guilty. I put in my headphones and stared out the window as people babbled on next to me. I disconnected from the world, listless. It was my way of dealing with things.

The song "Who You'd Be Today" came up on my iPod, as if in response to my emotions:

 _Sunny days seem to hurt the most_

 _I wear the pain like a heavy coat_

 _I feel you everywhere I go_

 _I see your smile, I see your face_

 _I hear you laughing in the rain_

 _I still can't believe you're gone_

 _It ain't fair, you died too young_

 _Like a story that had just begun_

 _But death tore the pages all away_

 _God knows how I miss you_

 _All the hell that I've been through_

 _Just knowing no one could take your place_

 _And sometimes I wonder… who you'd be today_

 _Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams?_

 _Settle down with a family?_

 _I wonder, what would you name your babies?_

 _Some days the sky's so blue_

 _I feel like I can talk to you_

 _And I know it might sound crazy_

 _It ain't fair, you died too young_

 _Like a story that had just begun_

 _But death tore the pages all away_

 _God knows how I miss you_

 _All the hell that I've been through_

 _Just knowing no one could take your place_

 _And sometimes I wonder… who you'd be today_

My mother really had been astonishingly young when she'd passed away, by anyone's standards. A very young human mother. I was fifteen. If I died when she'd died, my life would already be almost half over.

(It had never seemed fair to me, that my mother could die so young and some asshole noble in the Soul Society could live five hundred years. One of the reasons I didn't believe in a God.)

What kind of a person would she have aged into, I sometimes wondered? Who would she have become? What was her soul doing right now, out there in the universe? What would she think… of me? Had she forgiven me?

I looked up in surprise as the car slowed to a halt. We'd arrived at the manned gates leading into the vast gravesite.

We found a place to park and began hiking up the rolling green hills to the long stretch where our mother's grave was placed. Yuzu began complaining about the steepness of the hill, so Dad started chasing Yuzu and Karin up the hill, on his hands in a handstand. They shrieked and shouted, running away. I smiled a bit, watching them.

"They're all so excited, but you're so subdued," Rukia observed, walking beside me, in a sun hat with a little day pack on her back.

"None of them were there. They don't have anything to feel bad about besides the death of a loved one," I said, shrugging. "They're still sad, of course, but it's simpler for them." I didn't even say that in a self pitying or envious way - it was just a statement of fact.

Rukia walked beside me in silence for a while, contemplating this.

When we finally got to the correct row of graves, we were all sweating, our clothes clinging to our skin. It was a hot, sunny day. It had been June 17th that day, too, but what a difference there was. That June 17th had been in the middle of a summer thunderstorm. My entire memory was misty, slippery, and hazy, of our rain jackets and the girl standing above the swelling river and cars zooming past in the slick wet, splashing us as we walked.

Rainstorms and lavender both always reminded me of my mother.

We found Mom's grave and set up the picnic in front of it. It was just a standard Japanese grave, marked by a long pillar with her name on it, with a space below where people could leave food, flowers, and incense. As usual, we set up our picnic basket on the flat space of carefully preserved green grass in front of the grave.

I began setting up the food, but Dad said, "Why don't you show your new friend Rukia-chan around the place."

I looked up in surprise. "It's just a graveyard," I said.

"You should leave and breathe for a while," was all he said stoically, not looking at me. So he had noticed my tension, the way I was purposefully turned to avoid looking at the grave.

I stood, secretly grateful, though I would never admit it. Me and my Dad often shared an unspoken understanding. He wasn't always a loud, obnoxious dork. He could never have always had that kind of attitude, and become a good doctor with a nice bedside manner, after all. "Right, Rukia," I said. "Let's go."

She followed me curiously around the graveyard, past rows of white pillars and into the little forest that led to the gravekeeper's hut, which was on the Eastern side of graveyard. There was even a little hiking trail. We picked our way up along the little hiking trail among the leaves, dappled sunlight filtering down onto the earth.

"You show up every year even though you never want to go?" Rukia observed.

I turned around to face her. "I have to respect my mother's memory," I said seriously. "And anyway, it would kill my family to have someone missing. Yuzu gets upset enough every year as it is. I don't want to do that to them."

"Ichigo, you may get sick of hearing this from me, but I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about," said Rukia. "You were just trying to save some poor person. You did not kill your mother."

"I caused her death. If it weren't for me, she'd be alive," I said stoically, reserved. "Same thing."

"No, it's not," said Rukia stoutly.

"Look, I -" I looked away, upset. "I need to be alone," I said at last, pained, and I left. A silent Rukia fell behind me.

* * *

 _Arisawa Tatsuki_

I wasn't sure why Ichigo had come to school on this year - maybe her attitude toward the memory of her mother was improving, though somehow I doubted it - but either way it had led to this. Me, in Orihime's apartment, surrounded by all of her curious friends.

Chad surprised everyone by speaking first. "So. What's wrong with Ichigo? Why is she always missing this time of year? Does it have to do… with her mother?" He tensed.

"Her mother?" said Keigo, bewildered. "Wait, what the hell's going on?"

"I second that," said Mizuho, who looked particularly fearsome when she was worried or concerned.

I sighed, still looking at Chad. "I suppose, if she knows things about you most people don't, the reverse would also be true," I told him.

"So how do you know about it, Tatsuki-chan?" Orihime asked.

"You have to remember how long Ichigo and I have known each other. I was there when it happened," I said, troubled even by the memory. "So… Ichigo and I attended the same childhood karate class.

"She stood out immediately, but not in the same way she does now. She had hair this unbelievable color and was the only other girl in the class besides me. But she was such a wimp! All you had to was poke her, let alone hit her, and she'd start crying! She was super weak.

"Child Ichigo wore her heart on her sleeve. She was this shy, emotional, daydreamy little bookworm. We struck up a friendship, being the only two girls, and I had to start defending her from bullies, because she was picked on a lot. And she wasn't good at fighting back. I asked her why she was even in karate in the first place, and she always just said there were lots of people important to her that she wanted to be able to protect.

"She always lost in spars, she never rose in the ranks, but she kept coming back. She would lose, cry, come back. Lose, cry, come back.

"But the most important thing to know about Child Ichigo was how much she adored her Mom.

"Her mother was really beautiful, elegant, always smiling, kind. Kurosaki Masaki was amazing. And no matter how upset Ichigo was, the minute she saw her Mom, her whole face would light up. She'd just give this big smile and run over for a giant hug. It was almost irritating - like her loss or hardship no longer really had an affect on her.

"Then, when Ichigo was nine, her mother died. Car accident. Ichigo was there. That's where she is today - with her family at her Mom's grave. But in order to understand why Ichigo is always so upset on June 17th, you have to know how her Mom's death changed her.

"First, she stopped coming to school entirely. Her Mom died near a riverbank. So every day, Ichigo would skip school, and go with her backpack to the riverbank, and stay there all day. As if she was waiting for something. She never cried, never showed any emotion at all. She just paced, up and down the riverbank. Sometimes she'd get tired, and would squat on the ground for a while. But then she'd keep pacing again.

"It was hard, seeing her like that," I admitted, smiling wryly, more emotional than I wanted to be. For once, everyone looked somber.

"One day," I continued after a while, "I saw her on the riverbank, and she suddenly let out a huge scream, and threw her backpack and kicked papers all over the muddy bank. She never went to that river again.

"She came back to school and back to karate class. But she had changed. She was hard now. She defended herself from bullies. She never cried when she was hit, but always got right back up again. Pretty soon, she could defeat me. Then she went on to black belt, and kendo. I think she reacted by becoming perfectionistic, if I'm being honest. I should have been happy for her, but there was something cold about her, about the way she had changed. She had become zealous, fierce, and cold. She was that way for a long time. Eventually, the coldness abated somewhat, and she became a bit warmer, more adventurous and friendly. She became the kind of person you always felt you could trust and rely on. But she was never that same emotional, shy, daydreamy little girl again. It was like that part of her broke and died with the death of her mother.

"I asked her once, about the change in her. She said, not even looking at me, that she was never going to stand idly by and watch a friend or family member be killed again. I started to say something - I don't even know what - but she wouldn't let me finish. Still with that hard, cold, determined look on her face, she left the karate dojo.

"And I realized I'd gained a faithful fellow fighter and karate partner, I'd gained an equal. But I'd lost my childhood best friend."

I looked up at our friends, who had been stunned into silence, and smiled with an old kind of sadness.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

I was walking back to the picnic, trying to figure out how to help Ichigo - when I sensed something and gasped, whirling around.

A Shinigami was hiding there behind that tree.

He stepped out, clutching his sword, smiling almost apologetically. "My apologies, Kuchiki-san. I'm on a mission," he said.

I recognized him. He was one of those who came for lawless Shinigami. He was clutching his zanpakutoh.

And I realized I was alone.

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo

I had stopped against a tree, slid down to its roots, my head in my hands, thinking. Trying to breathe. Flashbacks flew through my mind.

Of course it was my fault. Everyone should have been furious with me; everyone should have hated me!

My father once told me that they named me "Ichigo" because I was the eldest and the strongest, that Ichigo meant "to protect the thing you set your sights on." I thought that I wanted to protect my Mom, who took care of me, who was the only person that always made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

Then my sisters were born, and I wanted to protect them too. Then my father. That was why I took karate. Tatsuki defended me from bullies, back before I could defend myself. I decided that in my ideal world, I wanted to be able to protect her too.

And before I knew it, I wanted to protect everyone. All the hurting people. I don't know when it got through my head that I, of all people, was capable of being a hero.

So I ran across that road to save the girl standing on the edge of the swelling river, the girl with the ghostly white face and brutally short dark hair. I ran to her, reached out my hand to grab her - and my hand went right through her. Then she disappeared.

I'd always had trouble, back then, telling the difference between the living and the dead.

I heard my Mom cry out, felt her knock into me, her body fell on top of mine, I hit the ground and blacked out.

Mom had been walking me back from karate class, ironically enough. We'd been walking hand in hand down the rainy sidewalk, cars zooming by, and I'd asked her, depressed, "Mom. I'm not a very good fighter, am I? I'm not even good at seeing the dead. People at school are always making fun of me for talking to things that 'aren't really there'. And they always tease me about my hair color."

I looked up at her, confused and questioning, pulling anxiously on a pigtail.

Mom smiled and leaned down to me. "I think you're a lot stronger than you believe, Ichigo," she said. "And one day you're going to do great things. Just give yourself time. You're very young."

"I don't want to do great things, Mom," I'd said, looking up at her innocently. "All I want is to protect you."

My mother had laughed. "Well, I'm very honored," she said teasingly. That was when I'd seen the ghost of the girl across the road.

And then in the end, of course, I couldn't save her. I couldn't save the one person I really wanted to. Maybe, I thought, I was still trying to make up for that. Maybe I always would be.

Foolish me. Still secretly wishing to be the hero.

 _I woke up, turned around in the mud and blood, and saw my Mom's pale, dead face staring into mine._

 _I screamed, my mind breaking._

 _People were pulling me away._

 _"MOM! MOM! No, Mom, please! MOM! I'm sorry! MOM!"_

* * *

 _Kurosaki Karin_

I stood before the grave, and prayed for my Mom. It surprised people, but secretly, when it came to death I was more optimistic than Ichigo. We didn't know what happened to souls who passed on. Maybe, somewhere, my mother could hear me, or at least understand or feel that I cared.

Then again, Ichi-nee had reasons for being as cynical as she was when it came to Mom.

 _How are you, Mom? Are you well? Well, I guess, if you're dead, there's no being well or not. Everyone's doing great this year: me, Yuzu, Dad, Ichigo. Ichigo even brought a friend. She's been living with us; we took her in after she started having family problems. I think you'll meet her later today -_

I looked down and sighed. Yuzu was curled up on the ground, crying. "Yuzu, we're eleven, we have to be grownups about these things," I said, squatting down beside her. "You do this every year."

Then Dad started goofing off to make us laugh, and I became play-violent with him. Because at least that was normal. Maybe if we goofed off enough, it would make Ichi-nee come back, and Yuzu stop crying.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

"Who are you? What do you want?" I snapped, fearful. "You are interfering with my duties -"

"Cut the crap, Kuchiki. You were supposed to come back a week ago and you're in a gigai," said the Shinigami bluntly.

"I-I am doing infiltration on a series of humans," I said, lifting my chin. "I am investigating a particular Hollow target. That is why I have not returned. My mission is not finished."

"Your dedication astounds me," said the Shinigami dryly. "As does your low levels of spirit energy." I fell silent, glaring. "Look, you may not remember me, but I remember you. Kuchiki Rukia, the Princess from the Rukongai, adopted by the noble Kuchiki family, was famous at Shino Academy." I felt my surprise echo in my face. "Eikichiro Saidoh," he said, grinning. "Two years ahead of you."

He had a buzz cut of dark hair, a brown, tanned, lined face, and a somewhat mocking, easygoing grin. "Do you remember me? Come on, I was pretty popular, too. I was a funny guy!"

"I don't remember you," I said flatly, not in the mood for games or remembrances.

"Really? Oh, well," he sighed. "I have a few questions to ask you."

"Are you from the Second Division Stealth Forces?" My eyes narrowed.

"Bingo!" He grinned. So my suspicion was correct. "So. You're in a gigai on infiltration, and you haven't come back because you're still on a mission." His skepticism was obvious. I nodded coldly, revealing nothing. "Then why were you talking to that human? Looking for friendship in odd places, Rukia-chan?" He grinned.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" I snapped.

"What? I thought it would make a good excuse." He shrugged. "A Shinigami striking up an unlikely friendship during an infiltration mission with some ordinary human. It's almost poetic."

Was he on my side or wasn't he?

"Look," he said, "I have to have some reason to come back to my superiors with. You've got to give me something to work with here. Otherwise, I'll have to bring you back by force."

"Is that a threat?" I challenged with dignity. "Are you threatening a Kuchiki?"

"I'm threatening a potential rogue. There's a difference."

"And if you turn out not to be correct?"

"Look. What's your reason?" he said bluntly.

"I am… pretending to be friends with a human during an infiltration mission," I said, my mind thinking fast. "I am investigating a Hollow attacking a family - in a gigai. Tell your superiors that."

He looked at me for a moment, and sighed. "Okay," he said. "I'll tell them that. I'll lie." I tensed as he walked by me. "That should buy you a few months' more time. But only because it makes my job easier…

"And also because I think that human is good for you, Kuchiki Rukia. You acted more normal and sympathetic during those two minutes with that human than in all six years of your time at Shino Academy. And it would be a shitty thing to do to kill some human girl's friend on the anniversary of her mother's death. Even if someone who looks like her _is_ somehow doing missions as a Shinigami."

"... I know nothing about such a thing," I managed after a moment. "Perhaps mission assignments has made a mistake."

"... Alright. I'll tell them that, too. I know nothing for certain, so I'll just relay my assumptions."

I whirled around, and he was gone. A few months' time, he had said. I had a few more months.

My powers had better return, fast.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Karin_

I gasped and backed up, seeing the barest outline of a monster stomping toward me. It seemed to be some sort of high-level spirit.

"Karin-chan, what's wrong?" said Yuzu, who obviously couldn't sense the thing at all.

"Where's Dad?!" I barked, backing farther away from Mom's grave.

"He went to have a talk with the local priest at the gravekeeper's place," said Yuzu in bewilderment. Well, that was typical. "Why?"

I heard an old, old voice hiss in amusement and whisper, "I need bait. The bigger the bait, the better…"

It loomed over us.

"Yuzu!" I managed. "Run!"

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I gasped and looked up. There was spirit energy moving nearby… A Hollow. And it had Karin and Yuzu!

I shot to my feet, grabbed the fingerless glove, pushed myself out of my body - which slumped to the ground - and ran in my Shinigami form back in the direction of Mom's grave. That, I felt, was where the three were. Memory Replacement was ready in a pocket of my robes.

Rukia, coming from the opposite direction, ran up beside me. "I got a Hollow alert!" she barked. "It's got -!"

"I know," I said, terse and worried. "My sisters."

"Ichigo," said Rukia solemnly. "I don't mean to dissuade you… But it's a big one."

I nodded tightly and we ran toward the fight. There was no question of turning back. Karin and Yuzu were out there.

We arrived at the graveyard to a horrible sight. Karin was struggling but being held down by one of the Hollow's giant claws - it was puffy, covered in silver fur, with clawed hands and feet - while the Hollow was opening its mouth to eat Yuzu, held up above the ground in a protruding tentacle. Yuzu was screaming.

"You're so noisy," said the Hollow in an aged voice. "I would say one hostage is enough."

I ran forward, anger tightening my face and my movements, and I cut off the tentacle, grabbing Yuzu before she hit the ground.

The Hollow smirked in response, and held up Karin. "Good," it said. "I still have my hostage. I have been waiting for you, Shinigami."

"Are you the one who's been sending Hollows out after me?!" I demanded.

"Yes, I've laid claim over you in Hueco Mundo. What can I say? I know a good soul when I feel one…" It hissed in laughter. It did feel more powerful than the others.

Then it lowered a body down in front of me, and I felt my heart freeze inside my chest. The body was a girl's, attached to the Hollow by a tentacle. But that girl: ghostly white face, brutally short dark hair.

She was the girl from the river the day my mother had died.

"What's going on?!" I demanded. "How do you have that spirit girl from that day at the riverbank six years ago?!"

"Ichigo," Rukia gasped from behind. "Don't tell me -"

"Yeah. That's the girl I tried to save from drowning herself. I realized afterward she was only a spirit," I whispered, my eyes wide.

"Six years ago? Wow, I don't remember that far back. This is very interesting," the Hollow said thoughtfully. "To have survived me once already…"

Then the appearance of the girl fell apart, shedding itself like a skin, revealing itself to be only a mirage. A fake doll puppet hung from the top of the Hollow like a string.

"That Hollow's code name is Grand Fisher. He's been evading Shinigami for decades, destroying all who go in his path," said Rukia seriously. "He makes the lure hanging from his head form into a human person, pulling people with spirit energy in… and then eating them.

"In other words, he's an expert at sensing spirit energy, even hidden or young spirit energy. He ate your mother while coming after you. Her body shielded you from his blows. The first Hollow who ever came after you… is the Grand Fisher.

"A car accident didn't kill your Mom, if you saw that lure on that day at the riverbank. The Hollow Grand Fisher did. You were just too young to sense him.

"It makes sense." Rukia winced. "The Grand Fisher's food of preference… is women."

I paused, and then laughed a little, humorlessly, hysterically. "So you're telling me that my Mom… is inside that thing?" I looked at the Grand Fisher's bloated, furry body, and I felt ill. A curious sensation had taken over me. A few moments ago my insides had been roiling, but now suddenly I didn't seem to have any insides at all.

"You will not be so lucky a second time," Grand Fisher hissed, and he went to eat Karin, and Rukia moved forward -

"Rukia, stand back." Rukia gasped and looked over at me. "This is my fight." I lifted my sword - and then, behind my back, I flicked my fingers and did a wordless spell, a trick I had only mastered recently.

A binding shield formed around Karin, pushing away Grand Fisher's hand. He made a displeased noise - I reached out, caught Karin, and tossed her to Rukia. Then I threw back the Memory Replacement.

"Take my sisters back to the gravekeeper's house with my father. Give them a memory replacement. Tell them I'm taking care of some unfinished business at Mom's grave before we leave." It had begun to rain. My eyes sharpened, my face twisting into a snarl. "It's true enough, anyway."

Then I leaped at the Grand Fisher. All thought had left my mind - this thing had killed my Mom - this thing had tried to kill me - this thing had destroyed Sora and nearly led him to kill his own sister.

This thing had to die, and that was the only thought I had.

The Grand Fisher's fur grew at will, throwing itself at me, trying to bind me. But I was too fast for it, my fighting too precise; I slashed and slashed away at it. It couldn't get me. But meanwhile, I couldn't get at the vulnerable part under all its fur, fuck getting close enough to it to slash through its head. Everything about it grew in protection of its vulnerable sections, reaching out to bind me.

We chased each other around the graveyard and into the fields and forests beyond, both getting more tired, neither of us hurt. I had never had this kind of fight before - the long, silent kind, a bit like a dance, which kept going and going and in which no words were said.

I shouted another kido spell and an explosion went off at a part of the Grand Fisher's body. It skidded along the ground, and I leaped on it to destroy it, but fur had just regrown to cover the part that had been born to smithereens. I smelled burning hair. All I had destroyed was fur.

Just as I realized this, my zanpakutoh still poised above the Hollow, it whipped out a section of fur and slapped me away onto the muddy ground. It was dark, sleeting, the skies a dull iron grey.

I pushed myself up, covered in mud and rain, my clothes and hair still clinging to me, gasping for air. I was bleeding where the Hollow's knife-like hair had pierced my abdomen.

"You are not bad, Shinigami… for someone so young and rookie, you are not bad," said Grand Fisher thoughtfully. He had recovered himself. "But in the end, it's the same. You will die like your mother."

Then he lowered his lure and it took on a new form.

"Now it is over."

The form the lure had taken was my mother's.

* * *

 _Kuchiki Rukia_

I had followed them, unable to help myself. I crept to the edge of the battle ground, clutching at a tree, raindrops covering me.

I wanted to help. I wanted so badly to help. But what was it Captain Ukitake had said, on the eve of Kaien-dono's death?

"And what of his honor?" I had paused. "If you interfere now, you will probably save his life, yes. But his honor will forever be ruined. There are two types of battle, and we must always distinguish between the two. There is the fight for life… and then there is the fight for honor."

And as with Kaien-dono, this was a fight for honor. I couldn't interfere, even if I wanted to. She'd asked me - she'd outright asked me not to interfere.

I clutched at the tree bark, as if the tree itself was holding me up. _Ichigo…_ I felt my face working. _Please live!_

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

My mother's pale, blank face stared into mine.

"Ichigo, you couldn't attack me, could you?" it asked innocently. "You wouldn't hurt Mommy, would you?" It even had her voice.

I swallowed, tears in my throat. _Mom, Mom, MOM!_ But it wasn't her. Not really. There was none of the warmth and passion in her eyes, in her voice.

The Grand Fisher chuckled. "Surprised? I pierced you in order to search through your memories. I do that for all of my victims. All the Shinigami I've ever fought… they all have at least one person. One person in their lives or memories that they would never hurt. I assume that form and use it to guard myself. It works quite well, doesn't it? And for you… that person is your Mom.

"I remember you now. The little girl brat with the orange pigtails, the one who was sad that she wasn't a better fighter. Is that -

"Why you became a Shinigami?" said the lure in my mother's voice. "For your precious Mommy?"

I felt disgust well up within me. But I could see an opening. There was one thing I could do. One thing he wasn't expecting.

I ran forward and engulfed my mother in a hug. She didn't smell of lavender, I registered. The Grand Fisher had gotten that part wrong.

Then one of the Grand Fisher's tentacles stuck itself right through my abdomen, and I felt a moment of blinding pain. I felt my heart begin to hemorrhage inside my chest. I heard a scream - I registered distantly that Rukia had found us and crept to the edge of the forest, watching us.

But she didn't interfere. For that, I felt gratefulness.

Sure enough, as I had suspected, the Grand Fisher pulled me in closer to eat me. "Foolish Shinigami," it hissed. "You are…"

And then I was close enough. I reached around my Mom and stuck my sword right through its fur and into its fleshy center. Grand Fisher choked to a halt.

"Joke's on you," I panted, grinning, blood coming out of my mouth. "All the other Shinigami you've fought expected to live. Fuck you, you son of a bitch."

And I sent a fiery kido spell, a jet of fire, right down the blade and into the Grand Fisher's center.

Grand Fisher screamed and writhed and howled as he went up in flames. With the last bit of effort I had, I pulled my burning sword right up through its body and through its head, and the Grand Fisher began to dissolve away into nothingness.

"You're free, Mom," I whispered, and I stood there, still connected to the Grand Fisher, watching the flames slowly move to consume me. I made no effort to leave.

Then something unexpected happened. Rukia's voice screamed, _"Ichigo!"_ in my ear and I felt myself shoved off to the side, onto the ground. The tentacle was ejected from me and I began choking and writhing in blind pain, blood going everywhere. My burning sword lay beside me.

"Ichigo!"

I saw Rukia shout a kido spell and send a jet of water at the burning blade. Then it was just charred, blackened. Rukia knelt over me, and began healing me.

As the Grand Fisher dissolved away into nothingness, the flames disappearing into blue stardust, I saw a strange vision appear before me. My mother's spirit - real this time, warm and loving - appeared in a misty mirage above the Hollow.

"Rukia," I asked with false calm, just to make sure, "are you seeing that?"

Rukia looked around and gasped. "Is that -?"

"My mother." I felt tears sting my eyes. She was smiling at me, just as she always had been, a sort of halo around her. "Mom," I choked out, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, honey. It was never your fault," her spirit said, smiling sadly. "There is nothing to apologize for. I'm so proud of you. But I have to go now, okay?" Tears had stung her own eyes. "I have to go. I love you all - very much. Live, please, Ichigo. Live!"

She was dissolving. I could see hundreds of spirits being released toward the sky from the shrieking Hollow.

"Okay, Mom," I whispered. "Have a good second life."

She disappeared and I blacked out.

* * *

I blinked myself awake, seeing a clear night sky and a moon above me. Rukia relaxed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness," she said, tears in her eyes. "My kido is so weak… I was afraid you wouldn't make it!"

"Your kido is strong enough," I said, sitting upright and healing the last of it on my own in a flash of blue. I reached out for my sword - and was surprised to see that both it and my Shinigami uniform were unharmed.

"They change according to your spiritual health," explained Rukia. "If you are injured, so are they. But if you are healed… they are as well. Now come on," she said, standing. "Let's go find your body."

As we were walking there, Rukia added, "After what your mother said… Ichigo, I trust you will have the good sense to pull yourself out of the way of obvious danger next time?"

"Heh. No promises." Rukia glared at me. "But…" I looked ahead of myself, smiling. Suddenly, I felt lighter than air. "No more suicidal inclinations for me, I think," I said warmly.

Rukia had a brief moment of surprise. Then she smirked and looked ahead, too. "Idiot," she said, but her tone was equally warm.

We had found my body.

"Rukia." I turned to her. "I want to keep being a Shinigami. Okay? And I want to thank you… for forcing me to become one."

Rukia looked surprised. "Those are words I never thought I'd hear you say," she said, nonplussed. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

I smiled, easier than I had in years. "I saved my Mom the second time, the way I couldn't the first time. And I saved Yuzu and Karin. I want to keep saving people from Hollows… so no one has to go through what my family went through after losing my Mom. I'm not arrogant enough to think I can save the whole world…

"But I want to save as many people as I can.

"I'm the hero I always wanted to be, after all."

* * *

I stood in front of Mom's grave thoughtfully. Rukia had gone off to get my family at the gravekeeper's hut.

So I was surprised to see my father walk up to me alone.

"Rukia-chan's with your sisters," he said. We stood there in front of the grave for a moment. My father took out a cigarette and lit it.

"I thought you quit smoking when I was born," I said in surprise.

"I did… But once, while we were dating in college, your Mom told me I always looked really cool casually lighting and smoking a cigarette. As a matter of fact…" He laughed, love and pain in his eyes. "I think that's the only time your Mom ever paid me a compliment. When she wanted to be, she could be as hard and fiery as you."

"I - don't remember that part of her," I said in surprise, turning back to stare at the grave, at her name on the sign. Masaki and Isshin - the perfect couple, my parents. I realized then how little I knew about them.

"Well, she never showed it around you," he said. "But, in any case. Every year at her grave, I light a cigarette in her memory and think of all the great times we had together. Graves are for the living, sweetheart," he added gently. "They should be a happy place - a place where you remember good times with important people in your life."

"... Dad," I said at last, "did you ever hate me because of my hand in what happened to Mom? Because I'd totally understand if you did. I mean… I hated me. And everyone was acting so sympathetic, when deep down I just wanted someone to scream at me!" I turned around, emotional.

"What? That's ridiculous," he said, caught off guard. "I don't hate you. If I did, Masaki would get really mad at me!"

I stared at him in wordless surprise. "... Really?" I whispered.

"Yes! You and I are very lucky. I married a beautiful woman who would sacrifice herself for her beautiful little girl. And you're the beautiful little girl she saved. What a legacy, huh? Take it off your mind for now, Ichigo. Tragedy can be romantic, but you're too young to really pull it off.

"Just live till your hair gets old and grey, live with a smile, and die after me. That's what I intend to do, because that's what Masaki would have wanted.

"You know," he said whimsically, with a bittersweet kind of smile, "you remind me a lot of your mother." I looked confused. "It's true," he said. "You're just as good at teasing me and dealing with my weird quirks. You're an excellent mother and nurse. You're calm in situations that would terrify most other people. You have her sense of fashion, her beauty, her messy hair, and her fiery determination to protect those closest to her. Somehow, effortlessly, the entire world revolves around you. You even have her eyes.

"You got some stuff from me - mostly the yelling and the swearing and the fighting and the boundless energy and the boldness and the chattery moments and all the weird shit - but deep down where it really counts it's all your mother." He shrugged. "What can you do? Out of all three of my daughters, you remind me the most of Masaki."

"... I always wanted to grow up to be like my Mom," I whispered in return.

"Well, congratulations, you did," he said, smiling. "I heard this song once from you? You have shitty taste in books and music sometimes, just like your mother -"

"Yeah, yeah, fuck you."

My Dad chuckled. "And… and it's a sad country song. But this one was pretty good. It was called 'He Gets That From Me', I think?" He looked away. "It's like that," he said quietly.

And I was wordless, because I knew that song, and it said all the things he couldn't put into words:

 _His early morning attitude,_

 _You have to drag him out of bed,_

 _Only frosted flakes will do,_

 _He gets that from me_

 _Yeah, he gets that from me_

 _His curly hair and his knobby knees,_

 _The way the sun brings those freckles out,_

 _Talk and talk, never miss a beat,_

 _Yeah, he gets that from me,_

 _He gets that from me_

 _He looks at me with those big brown eyes,_

 _He's got me in the palm of his hands,_

 _And I swear sometimes,_

 _It's just like you're here again,_

 _He smiles that little crooked smile,_

 _There's no denying he's your child,_

 _Without him I don't know what I'd do,_

 _He gets that from you,_

 _Oh he gets that from you_

 _How he loves your old guitar,_

 _Yeah, he's taught himself to play,_

 _He melts my heart,_

 _Tells me he loves me every day,_

 _And cracks a joke at the perfect time,_

 _Makes me laugh when I want to cry,_

 _That boy is everything to me,_

 _He gets that from you,_

 _He gets that from you_

 _Last night I heard him pray,_

 _"Lord help me and momma make it through,_

 _And tell daddy we'll be ok."_

 _He said he sure misses you,_

 _He sure misses you,_

 _He really misses you._

 _… He gets that from me._

My Dad put a hand on my shoulder. "Everybody's waiting in the car," he said quietly. "Come when you're ready." And he walked away from the gravestone.

I stood there for a moment, staring at my mother's name. "... Thanks, Dad," I whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

"Ichigo!" It was rare that I heard Karin sound so alarmed, or use my full name. The cry had come from the bathroom.

I ran in there, and paused in amusement. Karin and Yuzu looked terrified.

"Ichi-nee," said Karin, "we think we're dying."

"You've started your periods," I said, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway.

"What?" They looked bewildered.

"You've started your periods. It's a normal part of becoming a woman." I explained to them the ins and outs, letting them borrow some of my stuff and teaching them how to use it and helping them clean up.

"This whole period thing is unholy," Karin muttered. Yuzu giggled.

"You're telling me," I said dryly as we worked. "I had to get this speech from Dad." They paused, thinking about this, and then shuddered. "The rest of my feminine stuff I either got from Tatsuki and her Mom, or figured out for myself. But luckily for you," I bent down to their level, smiling, "you've got me here to help you."

They brightened, beaming.

To celebrate my sisters' budding femininity, me, Karin, Yuzu, Rukia, Orihime, and Tatsuki all had a facial mask night at my place. I made the facial masks and handed out scented hand lotions, and Tatsuki, Orihime, and I talked about things we thought all women should know - from physical explanations to pieces of feminist advice.

"This shit doesn't really get taught in schools, so you've gotta learn it from us," said Tatsuki.

Rukia mostly listened in, looking morbidly fascinated. Being a noble from a stiff clan in an old fashioned society, and being reserved herself, I doubted her own feminine education had ever been quite so blunt or thorough.

* * *

It started with a TV show.

There was this idiotic reality TV program called Burarei. In it, a supposed spirit medium self-titled Don Kanonji - a stupid-looking guy with dreadlocks, a mustache, sunglasses, a trench coat, and a gold chain necklace - went around Japan, exorcising ghosts from supposedly "haunted" places.

He was usually faking it and because of this I cherished an especial hatred for his show.

The problem was, everyone in Japan loved it. Yuzu, who wished she could see ghosts better, adored it, as did my father and most of my friends. Karin and Rukia plainly just found the whole thing highly amusing.

But the TV show only came on once a week, so I didn't have to put up with Don Kanonji and his bizarre shoutings of "BOHAHAHAHA!" and "SPIRITS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU!" very much.

That was, I didn't until it was announced that the next show was going to be at an abandoned hospital in Karakura.

Here was the thing. I was a hardened skeptic. I didn't believe in astrology or blood typing or personality typing. I was an ENFP-ENTP cusp with a Cancer Sun Sign and a blood type A, and none of that meant a single goddamn thing to me. I thought it was all bullshit. I didn't believe in people being able to see the future, and I sure as hell didn't believe in spirit mediums. No fucking way.

So when I walked up to my friends the next day at school and they all turned to me in unison and crowed, "BOHAHAHAHA!" it was like they had joined this weird kind of cult and I just gave them a look that was half a glare and half a bizarre stare. My sisters and Rukia had been doing it to me all morning, too - I think mostly just to freak me out.

"What?! You're not going?!" Keigo yelped a couple of minutes later. "But it's the most popular TV program in Japan! Everyone cool is going -!"

"Then I guess I'm not cool," said flatly. "Come on, Keigo, you know I hate that fucking show." Mizuho and Tatsuki looked amused, as did Rukia.

"Ichigo, how can I have a crush on someone who's so totally not up on what everyone's getting into?" Chizuru demanded, hands on her hips.

"Ichigo-chan doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to," said Orihime politely. "... Even if it _is_ a really good show," she added, grinning, and I rolled my eyes.

"How can you call yourself a Karakura citizen like the rest of us if Burarei comes to Karakura and you don't see the live performance?" Keigo was still demanding disbelievingly.

"Dude, you take the subway over here. You're from Naruki, man, what the hell are you even talking about?" I asked in bewilderment. Mizuiro laughed. "It's a dumb show and I'm sticking to my guns," I said firmly. I turned to my bookbag. "I'm also not talking about this anymore."

"Fine. We're all going, and you can be the one person left out," said Mahana, pouting.

"Fine by me," I returned smoothly.

"You are dead to me," said Keigo dramatically.

"Then I'm a zombie friend. Now shut your pie-hole."

* * *

But my family ended up kidnapping me and dragging me along to the show anyway on the night of. Rukia even helped catch me off guard, the little traitor.

The minute we hit the crowds in front of the stage that had been erected near the hospital, Rukia yanked me away. "There's our friends!" she said brightly, dragging me over to our friends group, which was actually highly embarrassing after how firmly I'd said I wasn't coming.

"Thought you weren't coming, Ichigo," Tatsuki smirked.

"Fuck you, my family kidnapped me," I said, scowling thunderously, and my friends snickered. Everyone was there: Mahana, Michiru, Ryou, Chizuru, Orihime, Tatsuki, Mizuho, Keigo, Mizuiro, and Chad.

"It's nice, though, that you came for your family," said Orihime, smiling. "I mean, you could have gotten out of it if you'd really wanted to." Sometimes Orihime was surprisingly perceptive like that.

"Yeah, well…" I sighed and turned toward the stage. "Yuzu really likes it," I muttered. "She and Dad wanted me to come."

"Besides, this is a break from your responsibilities, yes?" said Rukia smoothly. I knew she was referring to my job as a Shinigami, on top of all my schoolwork.

"I suppose," I said dubiously. I honestly could think of a million better ways to spend my free time.

Then the lights flashed, the crowd started cheering, and the show began. It started as it always did - with a commentator loudly and dramatically announcing Don Kanonji to a microphone, while Don Kanonji jumped from a private helicopter and parachuted down onto the stage, shouting in his ridiculous outfit, "SPIRITS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU!"

I was the only one in the crowd who didn't shout it with him and I was rather proud of that.

"I will let you babies hear the cries of spirits tonight!" Don Kanonji cried, and everybody cheered. The commentator asked him a question and he shouted, "This place smells like bad spirits! BOHAHAHAHA!" And everyone did it with him.

He really only ever had four lines.

Smoke machines shot clouds of mist enveloping the stage, and the cameras cut to a commercial break.

Rukia and I fell behind the others and I muttered to her, "Do spirits really haunt abandoned places like this? I mean, if they were here, a Shinigami would have taken care of them, right?"

"Not necessarily. Plus souls are fixed to two things: either places or people. Spirits attached to locations - Fixed-Location spirits - are earthbound, hard to detect, and so often go unnoticed by Shinigami. There is only one instance in which a Fixed-Location spirit will show itself - when someone invades its territory."

And then a cameraman stepped too close to the hospital and we felt a sudden surge of spirit energy - a howling roar emanated from the hospital. "That's a Demi-Hollow," said Rukia curiously. "A Plus spirit on the verge of becoming a Hollow. It's been left too long without a world. So there is something in there."

We saw a giant figure of a man appear before the hospital. He was big like a Hollow and he felt like a Hollow - but there were a couple of differences.

"His Chain of Fate has not fallen away completely, revealing a bared hole," said Rukia, business-like. "That means he has not completely lost his heart. And the mask, shielding bared instincts from the world, is not in place. He still looks like a human."

Except he was big and howled and roared and felt like a Hollow. I could hear him ranting if I listened close enough - I could hear him rant about how the hospital was his and he was going to make lots of money off of it and nobody else could have it. Not exactly what you'd call a sympathetic character.

Then the lights flashed and Don Kanonji was revealed again. The show was back on air, the massive spirit howling, unnoticed, behind him.

"Hey," I muttered to Rukia, "shouldn't we send on the Demi-Hollow?"

"Relax," said Rukia. "It takes months for a soul to become a Hollow. We can do it later -"

 _"Now it is time for Mister Kanonji's purification of the spirit!"_

"The only time a soul becomes a Hollow immediately -"

 _Don Kanonji looked closely into the spirit's face, holding his special spirit cane, like he could really see it -_

"Is if its chain of fate is torn at, tearing the hole over its heart all the way open."

 _Don Kanonji lifted up his cane, and ripped the Demi-Hollow's heart wide open._

Rukia and I cried out as the Demi-Hollow let out a scream of pain, slowly transforming into a Hollow. "I'll let you go peacefully, baby!" the idiot up on stage cried, and the stupid crowd cheered.

Don Kanonji did have spirit energy. And he'd just used it to unknowingly create a Hollow right above a huge crowd of excited souls.

I sprinted toward the stage without thinking, yelling out - security caught me, struggling, holding me down - cameras panned on me - I'd just made my television debut - Don Kanonji was crying out about a devoted fan - I finally made my hand into my pocket for the glove and pushed it into my chest - and my spirit was free.

My body slumped and in my Shinigami form I ran over to Don Kanonji, invisible to all but him and Rukia.

* * *

 _Inoue Orihime_

No one else seemed able to see it. But I turned to Tatsuki and Chad, and they both looked as worried as I did. They could see it, too.

Ichigo in the dark clothes. The howling spirit monster.

It wasn't the first time I had seen either of those things lately. And I realized then that it wasn't the first time they had seen them either.

The memories of that night with my brother had never left me. Not really. And I knew now that they were real. Tatsuki and Chad - they still had their memories, like I did.

Ichigo had awoken something inside of us.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

"Stop it!" I yelled, running forward toward Don Kanonji on the stage. "You _idiot_!"

Don Kanonji literally turned around and went, "Wow, a dead fan!" And he sounded kind of impressed. That level of stupidity did not deserve to be dignified with a response, so I kicked him out of the way of the Hollow a little harder than was necessary and stood between the Hollow and everyone else, my sword raised.

The crowd screamed as Don Kanonji was shoved away by an invisible force.

The Hollow screamed and howled, slowly transforming.

I ran forward before it could attack anyone, and sliced right through its head in a clean kendo swing. Quick and decisive was the ideal, right? The Hollow dissolved.

Then I whirled around and marched right up to Don Kanonji. "Listen up, asshole," I said, kicking him in the leg. "If you rip open spirits' holes like that, it just turns them into monsters that go around and eat people. What, did you think the ghosts just magically disappeared and the monsters just magically appeared afterward?"

"... Kind of," he muttered.

"How do you even take care of the Hollow monsters without them eating people?" I asked in exasperation.

He slowly raised the staff, which I realized swirled with spirit energy. The crowd gasped.

I sighed in exasperation. Well, at least he _meant_ well. "Look. You really want to help a lost soul, a ghost? You have to do it the hard way. You have to talk them out of their place on earth - preferably _before_ they turn into a monster.

"If you can really see spirits, do a goddamn show about that. Maybe I'd actually watch it without being forced into it." I leaned down and glared. "And if anyone asks, I was never here. You saw my body collapse and that's the end of it."

"Wow… you're a hero, girl," he said wonderingly. "A hero with good marketing ideas. You want to be my sidekick?!" he asked brightly.

"No, fuck you," I said decisively, and stalked off the stage back to my body. "If you ever need my help, come find me on your own."

I heard Don Kanonji pause, staring after me… Then he shrugged and lift his hands to cheer decisively in my wake. The crowd went wild.

Yup. I still hated him.

* * *

I woke up back in my body, and blinked my eyes open to see unfamiliar people standing over me.

"Congratulations, Kurosaki-san. True, professional Shinigami-grade work," said the man in the boat hat and clogs, eyes cold, smile friendly.

"I liked the part where she told him to go fuck himself," the red-haired boy commented.

"I thought she was really cool…." said the pigtailed girl admiringly, right before the red-haired boy grinned and started yanking at her pigtails.

The big dreadlock guy calmly picked the two up by the scruffs of their necks and separated them.

"Who are you guys?" I asked wonderingly, sitting upright.

"That's Urahara. He's the greedy black market salesman," said Rukia flatly, coming to join us. "Hat and clogs is Urahara. Dreadlocks is Tessai. Jinta is the red-haired brat and Ururu is the pigtail brat."

Urahara tipped his hat politely. "We came because we thought there might be some trouble, but you seem to have taken care of it, Kurosaki-san," said Urahara, eyeing me with interest.

"Well, yeah. It's my job," I said in confusion. "All those people could have died."

"Exactly. Ichigo is a competent Shinigami," said Rukia stiffly, her arms folded, as if offended by my competency being called into question.

"Yes, yes, quite, quite," said Urahara, still watching me.

I stood, scowling. "You know," I told him, "if you're going to undress me with your eyes, at least buy me a drink first." I refused to be intimidated by anyone. Jinta began choking and Ururu blushed.

Urahara sighed, laughing uneasily. "I don't know what to say to you, Kurosaki-san," he said, hand behind his head. "You are a peculiar girl." Maybe he just took delight in being creepy. I supposed there were worse kinks.

"Thank you," I said, and then pulled Rukia away. "Now come on. I have to go pay my penance and get yelled at by my embarrassed friends and family."

* * *

I opened the front door the next morning to find Don Kanonji standing, beaming, on the other side.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," I sighed, leaning against the doorway. "You don't really need help with another dead person, do you?"

He was staring at my body. I was wearing a pair of short shorts that showed off my long legs and a peach-pink tank top, my long messy orange hair loose around me.

I hit him in the jaw, neatly bringing his eyes back up to mine. He found me glaring at him.

Don Kanonji laughed uneasily, holding up his hands in pacification. "Girl," he said, "I would like to reiterate my offer to make you my sidekick -"

Just then, there was a gasp in the doorway behind me. "Don Kanonji!" Yuzu cried in delight, stars in her eyes.

"Wait, there's a celebrity at our door? Really?" Karin ran into the entryway to look with interest.

"Here, how about this," I said sarcastically. "My sisters actually _want_ to talk to you. They can see ghosts too. Why not talk to them?" I walked away. "I have to get ready for school."

I climbed the stairs to find Rukia there. "He's back?" she asked in amusement. "You must have left an impression."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Let's just go to school."

* * *

I expected to get shit from my teachers the minute I walked on campus, and I did. So did all my friends. We were hauled collectively into the principal's office. Ochi stood dubiously off to the side while the gym teacher yelled at us - his face in particular close to mine.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE, KUROSAKI?! YOU'VE EMBARRASSED OUR ENTIRE SCHOOL!"

"I would like to not embarrass it any further, sir," I said, deadpan. "And you are taking me away from valuable time I could be spending practicing the hip-hop dance performance I have planned for the end of the school year."

Ochi-sensei looked down, trying to hold in amusement. One of my friends snorted.

A vein was ticking in the PE coach's temple. He turned on the TV to my infamous Don Kanonji TV appearance. "Do you have any idea how much dishonor you have brought upon this school?!"

"My apologies, sir, it was my evil twin." I said it with a straight face.

"Your evil twin?!" he asked disbelievingly, staring at me. This particular man tended to say everything in exclamation points.

"Yes, sir. I have an evil twin. She is the bane of my existence. She impersonates me at every turn, ruining my all-important reputation with the student body. To think she would sink this far. You have no idea, sir, how much this betrayal wounds me." I would have seemed entirely serious except for the sarcasm in my voice. By now several people including the wizened little old principal were trying not to laugh.

"YOU'RE TOEING A FINE LINE, KUROSAKI!" the gym teacher spat in my face.

I smirked. "And you're inappropriately close to a student. _Sensei_. And in front of your superior of all people."

He stepped backward, blushing furiously. "And - and you all!" he sputtered, pointing at my friends. "You were there yet you did nothing to stop her!"

That was when Rukia put on her great act. The waterworks began. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Sensei! Ichigo-chan wanted to be on television, I tried to stop her, but I couldn't -!"

The gym teacher at last bent over Rukia, concerned, turning his back to the rest of us - and one by one my friends slipped out the window. I gave a cheeky little wave to Ochi-sensei and the principal on my own way out the window. Ochi-sensei rolled her eyes and sighed, shaking her head. The principal waved back cheerily.

We slid down the overhang protecting the first floor, landed on the ground, and - "WHERE ARE YOU GOING, YOU LITTLE PUNKS?!"

"RUN FOR IT!" Keigo shouted, and we took off, sprinting, laughing, across the grounds. The gym coach's infuriated shouts faded into the distance. We stopped, strolling along, taking deep breaths and still laughing, when Rukia rejoined us.

"I left while he was yelling at you," she said, shrugging.

"The amazing Kuchiki Rukia-chan does it again!" Keigo cheered.

"Thank God someone had the guts to do it. I could never cry in front of a teacher. I mean that with the highest admiration, Rukia," said Tatsuki.

"Oh." Rukia shrugged, smirking. "It was really nothing."

"Aww, Tatsuki just complimented a girl who isn't Ichigo or Orihime, she's never done that before!" Chizuru squealed. "Group hug!"

"We're not hugging."

"Group hug!"

 _"No."_

"Geez, that was scary." Michiru shuddered. "You do that one more time and you're on your own, Ichigo, I don't care how much trouble you're in or how good a friend you are."

"I second that." Chizuru scowled. "Ichigo, what were you thinking, anyway?"

I met Rukia's eye and I smiled, genuinely. "Call it a fit of temporary insanity," I said in amusement. "What say we ditch the rest of today and go get smoothies?"

We strolled, talking and laughing, off campus. I'll always remember that morning.

It was the last time all of us ever walked the same path.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

Shortly after the incident with Don Kanonji, something weird started happening.

I would sense a Hollow, it would beep on Rukia's alert system, and we would run toward where the Hollow was supposed to be - and then we would arrive there to find it already gone.

"Could another Shinigami have been sent down to your sector, Rukia?" I asked in confusion.

"Not really possible, management is pretty careful about things like that," said Rukia worriedly. "And besides, why would a fellow Shinigami get to the Hollow any sooner than we would?"

She had a point.

"I always feel a surge of power," I said, frowning. "Right before I feel the Hollow disappear. But we always get here and there's no one around." It had been happening a lot lately.

"Th-there was a man." We turned around to the ghost curled up fearfully in a corner of the alley, an overweight young guy with a pasty white face and thick glasses. "That monster attacked me, so I shut my eyes in fear, but someone appeared - a man, by his voice - and I heard him destroy the monster and then run off."

"A fellow Shinigami?" I asked curiously. "Who else could it be?"

"I don't know who or what they were," the ghost admitted. "Are - are you going to send me on?" He eyed the sword fearfully.

"Yeah," I said. "But don't worry. The afterlife is an old fashioned rural country village, and the sending on part doesn't hurt. Thanks for the info." I leaned down - and he tried to kiss me.

"Perv!" I shouted, shoving my foot into his face. Then, irritably, I pushed the zanpakutoh to his forehead and sent him on.

I stared at the place where he had been for a moment.

"Hey, Rukia?" I said at last, thoughtfully. "If it was a fellow Shinigami… wouldn't he have sent on the Plus soul before leaving?"

"... Yes," Rukia realized. "He would have. It's almost like this person isn't a Shinigami -"

"And they're hiding something," I finished, troubled.

So there was a mysterious man who wasn't a Shinigami destroying Hollows around Tokyo, he had appeared quite suddenly, and he always managed to get to the Hollow site before me. Then he disappeared. What the hell?

* * *

The next day at school, grades for the semester came in. People were posted in order of rank on the big bulletin board in the hall, and everyone went to look. The top fifty - what Keigo called the "wall of shame" - were at the top.

I'd had something to prove, and as a member of student government I was expected to perform well as a student anyway - also it would have felt weird not to put my all into my work. So I ended up in third place. Ryou was second, and Orihime was fourth.

"You almost beat me out," I told Orihime, impressed.

Orihime smiled and shrugged. "It was nothing."

"Wow, Orihime's super smart!" said Michiru. She sounded surprised, as if she couldn't help herself.

"Yeah. Orihime seems like an airhead, but that girl's wicked smart," said Tatsuki.

Chizuru engulfed us both in a hug. "Smart girls," she told us, me in one arm and Orihime in the other, "are always sexy."

"Thank you, Chizuru," I said in amusement. "Please stop touching me."

"That is homophobic."

"I assure you, I'd be saying the exact same thing if you were a guy," I informed her.

"Yeah, I don't hit you because you're a girl, Chizuru," said Tatsuki. "I hit you because you're obnoxious."

"Love you too, Tatsuki-chan," said Chizuru, grinning. "Looks like you and Rukia made the top fifty as well."

"Oh, I did pretty well," said Tatsuki, smiling wryly. "And Ryou did scary amazing, of course. As always." Manaha smiled slyly and nudged Ryou, who shrugged, her face as usual completely unfazed.

"Rukia? Rukia-chan?!" Chizuru called. Rukia had looked zoned out. Finally, she glanced over in surprise. "We were just saying you did well in classes."

"Oh, yeah, well -" She glanced at me and we shared a smile. "I had a lot of help," she said.

Rukia had been acting kind of weird lately. Absent-minded and worried. I thought maybe the mysterious man doing Shinigami work was bothering her. I supposed it _would_ be kind of anxiety inducing, if what me and Rukia were doing wasn't technically entirely legal.

"Well, you're all traitors," said Keigo brightly.

"That's right. Neither me nor Keigo nor Chad got on the wall of shame -" Mizuiro began.

I pointed. Chad was on the wall of shame. He was number ten.

Keigo began crying out in horror about betrayal. Finally, Tatsuki punched him to the ground in irritation. I gave Chad a mildly impressed sort of look, and he shrugged modestly in return.

"How'd Mizuho do?" I wondered aloud. She was in an older class.

"She's a traitor too," Keigo muttered into the floor.

"Poor Keigo. Surrounded by smart people he never asks help from. Let me play you a sad song on my tiny violin," I said flatly, and our friends snickered.

"I shall never join the wall of shame!" said Keigo dramatically. "NEVER!"

"Exactly," said Mizuiro, nodding, and they bumped fists.

"Now, I gotta ask," said Mahana eagerly. "Who's in first place?"

We all looked up at the top - where the name _Ishida Uryuu_ sat. "Who's that?" I asked in confusion.

"Oh, I know him!" said Orihime excitedly.

"Yeah, he's in crafts club with us," Michiru agreed, nodding. "He's excellent at sewing and embroidery. He's in our year, but a different section."

"So he's a nerd," Keigo interpreted. Mizuiro snickered.

I ignored their immaturity. "He must be very smart and hardworking," I said, impressed. "And also very confident in his gender identity and in his masculinity - to be okay sewing with a bunch of girls."

"Yes, he's very quiet, though," said Michiru curiously.

"Yeah, a bit cold on the outside, arrogant, intimidating. It's too bad, because I think if he didn't act like that, people would really like him. I just don't think he knows how to socialize with people," said Orihime.

"So I was right. A nerd," said Keigo.

I sighed. "Sometimes, Keigo," I said, "you can be kind of an ass."

Keigo yawned and stretched backward, unfazed. "Whatever," he said. "I say we do a karaoke night to celebrate all you nerds and -"

Just then, Rukia's cell phone beeped. We looked at each other, eyes widening. "Me and Rukia will be right back," I said, and we ran away, leaving confused friends behind us.

We were hoping to get there in time to see the mysterious man this time.

I brushed past a bespectacled student while running down the hallway. "Sorry!" I called over my shoulder, and kept on running.

* * *

We got there, and once more the Hollow was already gone.

"Is it my Soul Pager?" Rukia wondered, frowning down at her cell phone.

"It can't be," I said. I got back into my body. "I sense the Hollows, too. If only we could figure out -"

"Who's been destroying them?" said a new voice. We whirled around.

Standing there was the bespectacled student from earlier. Up close, he had chin-length black hair, pale sharp features, and he was kind of tall and skinny. He just looked like your stereotypical nerd. But the way he was dressed - in a long white cloak and white pants.

I sensed him out. He was in a body, not a spirit.

"Who are you?" I asked warily. "How do you know about destroying Hollows?"

"Good evening, Kurosaki-san, Kuchiki-san," he said evenly. "You don't recognize me?"

"Should I?" I asked bluntly.

"I am Ishida Uryuu," he said. Still with that eerie kind of calm.

"The top student who can sew," I realized. Then I frowned. "... You still haven't answered my other question."

"Kurosaki-san, you can see spirits, correct?"

I laughed uneasily. "You're not quite right in the head, are you? No one can -"

He turned around. "Another Hollow has appeared."

We paused. A few seconds later, "I feel it," I gasped. And then a few seconds after that, Rukia's pager beeped. We stared at it for a long moment.

Ishida lifted a hand, revealing a cross pendant hung from a bracelet chain on his wrist. The bracelet trembled and began to glow blue, and then a great bow and arrow made of pure blue spirit energy formed in Ishida Uryuu's hands. He shot it in the direction of the Hollow just as it appeared in the sky, the arrow hit the Hollow, and it disappeared in a flash of electric blue.

Rukia checked her pager again. "... It's gone," she said in disbelief, staring at the pager, stunned.

"Yeah. I felt it, too," I said. "The same surge of spirit energy I've been sensing. So it was you, huh?" I was thoughtful. "You can use spirit energy attacks in a living body?"

"Exactly," said Ishida crisply. "I am a Quincy. That's what we are. Humans with spirit energy who have learned to channel it through a living form. There used to be many of us, however -" His lips tightened.

"Quincy obliterate Hollow souls from the universe completely, throwing it off balance," said Rukia. "The Shinigami asked the Quincy to stop, but they wouldn't, so we -" She winced. "Massacred them," she finished softly. "To save universal balance. Ishida. Now I know where I recognized the name. The Ishida were one of the few Japanese families who refused to fight the Shinigami's orders, and so they were spared."

"Ishida is also the name of the head of the major city hospital," I observed. "The one my Dad's always arguing with."

"My father," said Ishida Uryuu coldly, nodding tighty. "Ishida Ryuuken. He, however, has… rejected his Quincy roots."

"So how can you do what you can do?" I asked.

"I had a grandfather," said Uryuu icily. "He believed we could peacefully coexist with the Shinigami, merely fending off Hollows until the Shinigami arrived to send them on. Then one day, he was attacked by a group of Hollows. I was there, a child, hiding. He waited and waited for the Shinigami to come save him - they never did. They thought it better off if as few Quincy were alive as possible. Oh, they arrived in time to take away his body, though."

Ishida glared at me as my eyes widened. "That is why I have sworn vengeance against the Shinigami," he said intently. "I hate Shinigami - Shinigami like you, Kurosaki Ichigo - and I am determined to prove myself better than you.

"I always sensed you, Kurosaki ichigo, your great spirit energy. I sensed it when you became a Shinigami and I sensed it as you improved - I am, evidently, far better at sensing and control than you, one way in which I am already superior. You didn't know?" he said, when I looked surprised. "Spirit Ribbons in Shinigami are always red. Now that you have sufficiently become a worthy opponent, the race begins." He lifted his chin slightly.

I laughed uneasily. "Look, that's a terrible story, but I don't think you get it," I said.

He raised an eyebrow, looking irritated. "And what is it that I do not understand?"

" _I don't represent the Soul Society_ ," I said fervently. "I'm completely illegal and they don't even know I _exist_. I'm just a human who's in it to save people, man. I lost someone to a Hollow, too. My mother. I was also there."

Ishida's eyes widened.

"So, look, I think your grandfather had the right idea," I said. "We could work together and -"

"No!" Ishida was shaking now, trembling. "I cannot accept befriending a Shinigami! A fight we shall have, Kurosaki Ichigo! Meet me outside campus at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon!"

"What is this, a schoolyard brawl?" I asked sarcastically, but Ishida was already gone. He'd leaped away awkwardly into the bushes in an attempt to look cool. I sighed. "Here we go," I said.

"Ichigo, you should not meet with him," said Rukia immediately. "Quincy can be -"

"Rukia, in his defense, you guys killed his grandfather and decimated his entire race of people," I said flatly. Rukia stopped, looking away. "And I know it was supposedly all for the best, but really? You couldn't just spare some pacifistic old man?

"Besides, I'm going to have to meet up with him eventually anyway. And he might cause more trouble in the meantime. It's best to get it over with." And I marched away. "Now come on. It's karaoke night. I'm having fun before the great day that I die at the hand of a Quincy."

Sarcastic till the end, I dragged her away.

* * *

 _Ishida Uryuu_

I hid in the bushes, watching her leave.

This wasn't anything like I'd thought it would be. She fought Hollows because she'd witnessed her mother be eaten by one. It was almost as if she agreed and sympathized with me. She hadn't seemed freaked out at all - she was calm and asking questions. She wasn't even angry. She didn't represent the Soul Society. She supposedly hadn't even known about the Quincy.

But this was my big chance to prove I was better than the Shinigami! Wasn't it? I'd been planning this for months!

No, Kurosaki Ichigo would have to pay. So why did this feel so… wrong?

I told myself it was just because she was an intelligent, attractive young woman. I must not give in to my baser urges and sympathies. She was a Shinigami and she was dangerous. But my body told me differently. That was why I did not want to jeopardize her or attack her. The fact that she wasn't my type… did not change this.

But she really… hadn't noticed me? At all? She remained and always had been the biggest spiritual force in my galaxy, from the minute she'd walked through the high school doors. I'd always noticed her. She was popular, and she was tough - she was seen in school with a mixture of fear, admiration, and respect.

And yet she hadn't even seen me. What a peculiar thought.

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I canceled with karate club, letting Tatsuki go on ahead of me, and Rukia and I arrived together outside campus the next afternoon. Ishida Uryuu was already waiting for us.

"So let me guess?" I sighed, bored, arms crossed. "You want to duel me? Should I turn Shinigami and get out my zanpakutoh?"

Ishida's eyes glinted from behind his spectacles. "Yes, but not for the kind of duel you're probably thinking of," he said, almost in amusement. He reached into his shirt pocket and held up what looked like a small silver cookie. Rukia gasped.

"That's Hollow bait!" she realized in alarm. "If he crushes that, all the Hollows in Hueco Mundo will flock to Karakura!"

"What?" My face twisted. "You idiot, you're going to endanger the lives of everyone in an entire city just for some stupid spat?!"

"It is not a stupid spat!" he snapped, getting angry. "And I plan on killing all Hollows who come, so other people are nothing to worry about! Whoever destroys the most Hollows within 24 hours wins the duel! So? Are you confident in your abilities, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"I'm not in the mood to be goaded. I'll say it again: you're being an idiot, Ishida," I snarled heatedly. "What if just one Hollow slips through your fingers? Could you come down off your miracle cloud of Quincy arrogance and consider that possibility for a minute? Their death will be on your hands! Do you really want to carry that around for the rest of your life?"

"Shut up! The game has already begun!" shouted Ishida - and he crushed the Hollow bait between his fingers, letting it dissolve.

It started with a rumbling, an oncoming wash of spirit energy. Then black holes began opening up in the sky, and Hollows began oozing out. I looked around in alarm. "Goddamnit, Ishida!" I shouted. "After this is all over, if even one person is dead, I'm going to fucking kill you myself!"

"I accept your terms," said Ishida solemnly. A blue bow grew in his hands and he let an arrow fly. "One down," he said calmly.

And it began. Rukia jumped on my back, and we leaped up into the sky and began cutting and blowing our way through wave after wave of Hollows. They were everywhere. I slashed, called out kido spells, did everything I could, and they just kept coming.

I couldn't sense anything. I couldn't even sense where Ishida was anymore. Occasionally, through the mass of Hollows, I saw a flash of blue and another one disappeared, the soul destroyed from existence forever.

* * *

 _Arisawa Tatsuki_

I was walking back to karate club after our water break, still in my gear, when Orihime approached me part-way across campus. "Tatsuki-chan?" she said, smiling uncertainly. "Do you have a moment?"

My ability to see ghosts had become particularly annoying lately. Some of them were so obnoxious - the cutesy couple floating and cooing at each other behind me, for example, was super irritating. And I couldn't get any of the memories out of my head - of that night in Orihime's apartment with her brother, of all the times I'd see Ichigo flying around with a sword in black robes.

Just as Orihime approached me, the ghost of some stupid middle aged man floated in between us and began making faces at me, thinking I couldn't see him. I shouted and waved him away, only to find Orihime staring at me.

"Uh… sorry," I said sheepishly. "What did you need?"

"Well - it's not important - but -" she began. Then suddenly we heard a crash and screams and whirled around.

"All the windows just shattered!" someone out in the courtyard shouted. "What the hell?!"

"Come on, let's go check it out," I said, turning around to Orihime - and she was staring above me, big-eyed. I turned slowly around…

A monster was crouched there on the roof of a building. One of the monsters Ichigo and Rukia were always fighting.

"It's attacking," I whispered - and Orihime whispered it at the same time. We looked at each other. "So you remember it too," I said. "That night in your apartment."

"Yes. And I think Chad knows something, too. Tatsuki-chan… It's going to attack all those people out there," said Orihime worriedly.

* * *

 _Yasutora Sado ("Chad")_

A huge rift was forming in the sky. A big gaping black hole, filled with bad energy. I was with my bandmates, and they were pleading with me to go with them before lunch specials were over, but I couldn't take my eyes off the sky.

Then all of a sudden one of those monsters - the one from that day with Ichigo - fell from the sky and onto the road in front of me.

There was a great explosion of impact and the others shouted, thrown off their feet. "A gas explosion…?" someone began. Then I shouted and dodged as the monster suddenly ripped a hole in all the glass windows to one side of the street. It kept swiping at me and swiping at me - it was after me.

Well then the answer was simple. I turned around and ran - started running toward a place where no one else would be. My friends' confused shouts followed in my wake.

I ran to a nearby soccer field, sprinting onto the edge of the field, breathing hard…. only to find Kurosaki Karin standing there, Ichigo's little sister. It looked like she had just left a game of soccer with the boys behind her. The other kids were still out there in the field.

Damn. Not the place to have come, then.

"Chad? What's a grown-up like you doing alone out here -?" Karin began curiously, right before I grabbed her and leaped with her out of the way of a monster claw. It crashed to the ground, leaving a minor explosion in its wake.

We kept running and dodging, running and dodging, Ichigo's little sister in my grasp. Then I was shoved out of the way, my head was hit, and I blacked out. When I woke up… I saw that the children had come up to us, and Karin was pushing a boy out of the way of a monster claw. She was going to sacrifice her life for her friend's. Her fieriness reminded me a little of Ichigo.

I hadn't always been so quiet. Back in Mexico, I was a big fighter. I used to get into fist fights with other kids all the time. My grandfather used to worry. Before he died, he asked me to only use my strength to protect others - never to gain retribution, or to hurt them. That was why I was the way I was.

So I could protect people like Kurosaki Karin.

I pushed myself to my feet. The other kids saw me and ran away. I ran forward to stand in front of Kurosaki Karin - the monster came in another attack -

I reared at it in a punch, and asked my abuelo to give me strength.

I felt the monster give underneath my fist, and when the smoke had cleared it was gone. And in the place of my fist - was a great red and black arm, a massive, monstrous arm, swirling with strange energy.

The kind of fist that could destroy those creatures.

It slowly faded away, and I turned to Kurosaki Karin. "That was amazing…. Mister! You're bleeding!" she said in alarm.

"A little where I skidded. It's nothing," I said.

She kicked me in the shin. "Bull _shit_ it is!" she shouted, scowling. "I'm going to go get my Dad! You stay here!" She ran off. She was just like Ichigo… in the way that she kicked.

But my injuries would lead to questions I couldn't explain and so I dragged myself, woozy, off the soccer field. I was halfway back to town, staggering, when someone appeared before me.

I paused in surprise.

* * *

 _Arisawa Tatsuki_

I ran out into the courtyard. "Everyone run! Get down!" I barked, as the monster ripped through another row of classroom windows.

I sprinted to stand in front of it. It chuckled, coming down to meet me.

"You are not strong enough," it said. "Not like the girl behind you." Orihime? "You do not have the spiritual power to defeat me."

But Ichigo did. That was what stopped me. Ichigo did.

I growled, clenching my fists, the courtyard now empty but for me and Orihime. Everyone had run away in time from being attacked.

"All my life…" I growled. "Ever since we were nine… I've never been able to protect Ichigo… She's always been just out of my reach… Well not today!"

I got into a karate stance. "Come on asshole!" And then from out of my fingers and feet… creatures sprang.

Foxes made of pure sunlight scampered around the monster, pinning it in from all sides, growling. I felt connected to them, in an odd way. I tried leaping upward in a karate move… and the foxes moved with me. I kicked the air, and they impacted in explosions against the monster, burning it. It sizzled and screamed as it was burned alive by sunlight.

"Kick _ass_!" I said in amazement, and I kept fighting the monster, punching and kicking, burning different parts of it with the sunlight foxes, until -

"Tatsuki-chan!" Orihime screamed, watching me. I felt more than saw a tentacle lash out around and behind me, coming from the monster -

And Orihime reacted.

* * *

 _Inoue Orihime_

I realized in that moment of primal fear that I had always been protected.

Ichigo and Tatsuki always protected me, but especially Tatsuki. Tatsuki-chan followed Ichigo-chan, and I followed Tatsuki-chan. That was how it had always worked.

From the moment they'd met me in middle school, they'd always protected me from the big bad bullies. Even now, Tatsuki was fighting for me.

And I realized that for once, I wanted to fight for myself. I wanted to protect Tatsuki-chan, the way she'd always protected me. I wanted to fight alongside Ichigo-chan, not be the helpless victim behind her or crying on her shoulder.

I reached my hands out, and shouted, and somehow I knew what to do.

"Hinagiku! Lily! Baigon! Santen Kesshun! _I reject!"_

The hairpins in my hair transformed into fairies. Several of them floated around me while three flew in and formed a golden defensive shield around Tatsuki, cutting the tentacle off from reaching Tatsuki right as it grazed her back.

Then it was the next fairy's turn. "Tsubaki! Koten Zanshun! _I reject!"_

The fourth fairy flew in at high speeds and cut off the monster's tentacle, leaving it roaring.

I ran over and put my hand over Tatsuki's cut, smiling. "Shuno and Ayame. Soten Kisshun. I reject." Her cut healed in a flash of gold.

"What are those little gold dots?" said Tatsuki wonderingly.

"Fairies!" I said, smiling. "Can't you see them?"

At last, she smiled back. "Well, I suppose it's enough that _you_ can see them," she said. "Now let's do this."

We turned back around. The Hollow tried ejecting exploding things from her head, but I called up another shield and they were useless. Then Tatsuki kicked out and used a fox to burn the Hollow's head, making it sizzle, ruining the Hollow's powers.

At last, we called up our powers together, and shot them straight through the monster as one. The monster exploded in a flash of gold. Somehow, I felt braver with Tatsuki fighting beside me. Bolder. More aggressive and full of energy.

Our powers faded away, and there was slow clapping. We both looked around… and a strange assortment of people were standing there. A guy in a boat hat and clogs, a big dreadlocked guy, two little kids, and Chad.

Chad raised his hand, and a giant, red-and-black arm of steel formed in place of his right arm. "I found mine, too," he said simply.

"Do you know what's going on?" Tatsuki demanded of the man in hat and clogs.

"I certainly do," the man said seriously. "I'll explain as we walk. There's something I think you should see.

"Your good friend Ichigo - the person you got these powers from - is fighting again. I believe… if I can sense right… yes. She is chasing after Ishida Uryuu."

"Ishida Uryuu? The student?" said Tatsuki in bewilderment.

The man smirked. "No. Ishida Uryuu. The Quincy."

* * *

 _Kurosaki Ichigo_

I was trying to find Ishida Uryuu amidst the crowds of Hollows, Rukia barking directions in my ear. She was still clinging to my back. I had realized, at some point…

That if we wanted to really destroy all these Hollows, Ishida and I would have to do it together. That big black rift in the sky worried me.


End file.
